Menage a un
Anthems for Friendzoned Satanists


0.5

Review

by Pizza PUNTRIBUTOR USER (298 Reviews)
May 8th, 2022 | 58 replies


Release Date: 05/08/2022 | Tracklist

Review Summary: Vomitcard.

I woke up this morning to the news of this EP being released to the world. For anyone and your favourite toddler to hear it. And so began a lovely trip through memory lane of the main protagonist in the EP, the kind of guy that stalks a girl and says he will make him love her. This is the lyrical content. There is also the typical pop-punk bull*** lyrics about everything that can possibly happen at the ocean, attempting to give off a summery vibe and failing. Black metal just doesn’t give that summery vibe to me, perhaps an ominous cold winter in the forests of Norway, but not this ***, and especially not with these lyrics. If you haven’t noticed, the tone of this EP is inconsistent at best. Along with the intensely bitter lyrics you get the musical confusion of pop-punk mixed with black metal. It feels like a genre collision that Satan created. It’s an abomination. The riffs and melodies are pop-punk, yet the drums and shrieks are black metal. The biggest surprise was the pop-punk choruses which were serviceable and the only thing that really made this *** sound like pop-punk.

The singing (yes there’s singing) isn’t that bad, but it’s definitely not going to match the heights of your favourite pop-punk singer. The drums have no punch to them; they sound like they threw handfuls of goldfish against the wall. The piano playing is actually skillfully done. There’s also some little instrumental ditties that include bad keyboard bits, a saxophone solo, and parts that sound like The Tea Party. Everything and a kitchen sink are in here which is why it doesn’t work. It sounds like they’re doing *** for the sake of doing *** (they obviously are). But, to be fair, if you were expecting the EP to give you some kind of musical boner due to its brilliant composition you’re a ***ing idiot. Almost nothing works in this EP. I have wasted my life by reviewing it and attempting to find hidden nuggets in this tornado of ***. Very fun to listen to and laugh at, and it is the strangest music I’ve heard all year.



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user ratings (13)
2.7
average


Comments:Add a Comment 
CugnoBrasso
May 8th 2022


1294 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

Holy shit this can't be happening for real

arf
May 8th 2022


398 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

AOTY

Digging: The Dear Hunter - Antimai

pizzamachine
May 8th 2022


16482 Comments

Album Rating: 0.5

I mean NO but yeah

Digging: Draconian - Under a Godless Veil

arf
May 8th 2022


398 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

I am extremely bothered by the fact that the 5.0 review doesn't also count towards the average rating

parksungjoon
May 8th 2022


44601 Comments


normally it should, i guess pizzerino mustve manually removed the associated rating

Flugmorph
May 8th 2022


27047 Comments


nice rating cugno

Digging: Enslaved - Vertebrae

CugnoBrasso
May 8th 2022


1294 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

Might bump this to a 1.5, the guitar work is growing on me

pizzamachine
May 8th 2022


16482 Comments

Album Rating: 0.5

2.5 homie

CugnoBrasso
May 8th 2022


1294 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

Weakling

pizzamachine
May 8th 2022


16482 Comments

Album Rating: 0.5

Rude

Senetrix666
May 8th 2022


1354 Comments


someone post this in r/blackmetal

JokineAugustus
May 8th 2022


10740 Comments


Blackened Pop Punk?

Digging: Shibusashirazu - Shibuboshi

pizzamachine
May 8th 2022


16482 Comments

Album Rating: 0.5

Accurate!

kevbogz
May 8th 2022


4709 Comments


does this gaze?

pizzamachine
May 8th 2022


16482 Comments

Album Rating: 0.5

Ehhhh

arf
May 8th 2022


398 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

blackened pop punk / incelcore

pizzamachine
May 8th 2022


16482 Comments

Album Rating: 0.5

Blackened stalker punk/unrequitedlovecore

Dewinged
Staff Reviewer
May 9th 2022


28287 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

I havent heard it yet but gave it a 4.5 to fill one of the blanks in the rating spread.



We need 3 more people. Don't fuck it up.

Digging: Autumn's Grey Solace - Within the Depths of a Darkened Forest

Dewinged
Staff Reviewer
May 9th 2022


28287 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

I am sure it's a 4.5 though.



Smashing rev too pizza, a work of art. Stream of consciousness in full display.

CugnoBrasso
May 9th 2022


1294 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

In case anybody is interested, we now have a bandcamp page and you can download this bad boy from there: https://menageaun.bandcamp.com/



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