The Comet Is Coming
Trust in the Lifeforce of Deep Mystery


4.0
excellent

Review

by FilteredSeaMen USER (3 Reviews)
December 19th, 2019 | 16 replies


Release Date: 08/15/2019 | Tracklist

Review Summary: A thrill-ride that may cleanse your musical palette and alter your taste.

I like to think of myself as a man of musical merit. A man who's taste and range of musical knowledge stretches towards the horizon. One of my requirements to continue this delusion is to listen to Jazz amongst other esoteric bullshit like scat-auto tune. After watching a large-headed neo-Nazi on YouTube, he recommended a fancy jazz album from the Sons of Kemet. As I consider myself a very "woke" person I could not review something that was too mainstream so I went for King Shabaka's side project to put the plebs off the scent.

This album starts by demanding patience from you. A rather atmospheric mars-synth opener to get the juices moving. But any motility the opener gave your juices is immediately quashed by the shitest song on the album [i]Birth of Creation" A rather dull affair that sounds like a Glitch Mob B-side.

Fear not as Shabba goes from a shriveled micro-penis to the musical equivalent of a 12-inch flesh ferret with the third track Summon the Fire. If I lived on the Total Recall (1990) Mars I would do a bunch of drugs and listen to this song as I ride through the scarlet desert on my space-motorcycle. If that was not an option I would put on red-tinted glasses do a bunch of Meth and run barefoot to the nearest beach.
If MC ride from death grips was a brass instrument he would sound like the sax in parts of these songs. A sax full of sassy attitude, it's brassy squeaks embody an attention-demanding vocal-like presence in the mix. This fantastic sax is accompanied by other cool brass shit and an overall extraterrestrial sci-fi vibe.

Blood of the past continues the ball-biting momentum from the previous track. A track where Shabba lets his doomsday sax go to town and back, accompanied by a bassy synth. However, Shabbas groove is halted by the songs feature from an Anarchist, grime-leftist named Kate Tempest. Personally I find her a bit of an arduous pest especially on repeated listens as she rants for just over two minutes. I can't remember exactly what she says but I remember the line "The new Coldplay album is a 4.5/5" a questionable remark that might furrow some peoples brows, especially sputnik user "The MightyScoop"

The two tracks that follow showcase the drummer Max "Betamax" Hallets talent as he sets a fiery flurry of hits and licks with his sticks to accompany Shabbas continued saxual intercourse.

After a poor song eerily similar to Birth of Creation the album finishes off with a super erratic sax-sex freestyle accompanied by the THX theme. The exact way every good jazz album should end. Miles Davies eat your dick off.

So what is this album at the end of the day? If it was up to me I would do what all the highly esteemed staff do on this site. Give it a 3.9 (.5 ratings are for commoners) make it the featured review and let out an arousing guffaw as I remove the vote for how poorly written this review is. But alas I'm a non-staff rat and have no tools to separate me from the vermin.

As I sit on my leather-bound chair and put my 6000 dollar headphones to one side I look for outside talent to help me find the answer to the aforementioned question. Knowing that sputniks users are of high-brow and high IQ I keep my investigation in-house. I look to the most popular comment made about the album by a man dubbed "TheSupernatural" He states that he

"Tried playing this for my girlfriend in the car, halfway through the first track she turns to me and
asks; is this whole album just going to be one self-important horn?"

Now before I respond to this remark by said sputniks user girlfriend I must forgive you all as I indulge myself. Assuming "thesupernaturals" position in the car I ready myself to respond to this low hanging fruit.

I do so not only to tear into this unsuspecting victim but also to momentarily feel what it's like to have a girlfriend.

As Barbara's eyes meet mine longing for a response to her question, I take my hand and rest it on her cheek using my thumb to slide a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

"Is this whole car ride just going to be one self-important bitch flapping her gums?"


user ratings (176)
3.8
excellent

Comments:Add a Comment 
FilteredSeaMen
December 19th 2019


35 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

This review goes out to all the fans of my Coldplay review that Sinternet really liked.

MiloRuggles
December 19th 2019


270 Comments


FEATURE THIS YOU COWARDS

Demon of the Fall
December 19th 2019


14495 Comments

Album Rating: 3.5

Review confuses me and for some reason I like it.

Album confuses me and for some reason I like it.



At least this now has a review - much needed considering this made the staff list despite not having one.

Digging: Stereolab - Dots and Loops

tectactoe
December 19th 2019


2077 Comments

Album Rating: 3.5

Oh damn, I never realized this album didn't have a review until now. Just kind of assumed it always did. LOL'd at the last line.

But it makes me sad because 'Birth of Creation' is awesome :'(

Digging: Hop Along - Painted Shut

BallsToTheWall
December 19th 2019


49882 Comments


Band rules.

Digging: Throwing Muses - Throwing Muses

Sniff
December 19th 2019


6066 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

Miles Davis eat your dick off

Mad.
December 19th 2019


4796 Comments

Album Rating: 3.5

"Shabba goes from a shriveled micro-penis to the musical equivalent of a 12-inch flesh ferret'



"If MC ride from death grips was a brass instrument he would sound like the sax in parts of these songs"



High praise if ever there was



Glad to see a review of this

bloc
December 20th 2019


59304 Comments


Good to see this get a review, great album

Digging: Tim Dog - Penicillin on Wax

Dewinged
Contributing Reviewer
December 20th 2019


17624 Comments

Album Rating: 3.5

I toyed with the idea of writing this one up but it got a bit overwhleming, idk.



Glad that someone did it.



""Is this whole car ride just going to be one self-important bitch flapping her gums?""



This cracked me up lol. Have a pos.

Digging: ...And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead - X: The Godless Void and Other Stories

bloc
December 20th 2019


59304 Comments


Lmao didn't even see that line. That soundoff is hilarious though ngl

butt.
December 20th 2019


6208 Comments

Album Rating: 3.5

just watched part of their tiny desk concert, shit was wild!

dmp3131
December 20th 2019


1357 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

Yeah their Tiny Desk blew me away. 4:45 they keyboardist leaves this plane.



Also I love the Kate Tempest feature on this, I think it complements the track perfectly. good stuff tho

Mad.
December 21st 2019


4796 Comments

Album Rating: 3.5

Wtf just on that tiny desk now and it's insane



So sad the record doesn't capture this level of energy

CookieFactory79
December 24th 2019


65 Comments


quite impressive in places um

NorthernSkylark
January 12th 2020


9590 Comments


second track is pretty sweet

Digging: Philip Glass - Glassworks

FilteredSeaMen
January 23rd 2020


35 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

Was a little harsh on it for sure.



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