Eskimo Callboy
Bury Me in Fucking Vegas


1.5
very poor

Review

by BlackDragon998 USER (3 Reviews)
May 26th, 2016 | 24 replies


Release Date: 2012 | Tracklist

Review Summary: Wow......just......wow!

The German electronicore superstars known as Eskimo Callboy have made it big with their 2012 debut release entitled “Bury Me In Vegas”. While wishing to bury them somewhere other than Vegas (Afghanistan might be a better option), the band has gained more and more popularity through their ridiculous image, their constant chugging of their guitars, and their unbelievably terrible lyricism. While this band is known to be a “parody” of other core bands such as Asking Alexandria and the like, they still fall under the same platform as them when it comes to how terrible their music is.

The vocalists, Sebastian Biesler and Kevin Ratajczak, provide the lyrics by using their monotonously awful screams and plain and soulless cleans to make this ear torture of an experience more of a challenge. While the singing is just as generic as anything else in the core scene (except even more boring), the screaming sounds like a frat boy going through puberty once more while getting his intestines ripped out from his anus. Speaking of which, the lyrics of the album usually regard anything from sex and drugs to girlfriends and breakups. Nothing more needs to be said about that other than the fact that the lyrics are just as dirty as Blood On The Dance Floor’s lyrical topics which puts this band deeper into the pit of despair.

With the vocals and lyrics not doing much to save this band from being thrown in the trash like every other core band, you’d think the instrumentation could make up for it…..it doesn’t. The instrumentation sounds like the standard chugging and generic riffs that you’ve heard MANY times before with bands such as Asking Alexandria, Attack Attack!, Skip The Foreplay, and The Devil Wears Prada. What doesn’t make this album the worst thing to ever exist is the fact that the production was good and Eskimo Callboy admitted that their music is meant to be satire and comedic. Unfortunately, I wasn’t laughing with them as much as I was laughing at how talentless and pathetic their music really is. Almost every song off their album sounds the same and barely come close to being listenable. The only songs off this album that can be somewhat tolerable are “Snow Covered Polaroids” and “Light The Skyline” and that’s being nice. Other than that, “Bury Me In Vegas” is an album that needs to be buried away with dynamite in a faraway place and be blown up never to be seen or heard from again.

Recommended songs: Snow Covered Polaroids, Light The Skyline


user ratings (86)
2.8
good

Comments:Add a Comment 
ArsMoriendi
May 26th 2016


27646 Comments


There's a band called Skip The Foreplay? lol damn

Digging: Dead Can Dance - Garden of the Arcane Delights

Sinternet
May 26th 2016


20786 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

band is dumb but kinda fun



and yes ars, there is, and they're trash

Digging: Andy Stott - It Should Be Us

LotusFlower
May 26th 2016


12000 Comments


http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/50324/Skip-the-Foreplay-Nightlife/

the review for skip the foreplay is great

EverythingAndLess
May 26th 2016


42 Comments


Is this a sort of a Poe's Law thing where satire of the genre in question is indistinguishable from the real thing or is it apparent that they're joking?

Sinternet
May 26th 2016


20786 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

1. Bury Me in Vegas

2. The Kerosene Dance

3. Internude

4. Is Anyone Up

5. Wonderbra Boulevard

6. Legendary Sleeping Assault

7. Light the Skyline

8. 5$ Bitchcore

9. Transilvanian Cunthunger

10. Muffin Purper-Gurk

11. Snow Covered Polaroids



super-srs

EverythingAndLess
May 26th 2016


42 Comments


Attack! Attack!'s first album has a tracklist of

1. Hot Grills, and High Tops
2. Stick Stickly
3. Bro, Ashley's Here
4. Shred, White, and Blue
5. Party Foul
6. What Happens If I Can't Check My Myspace When We Get There
7. Interlude
8. The People's Elbow
9. Kickin' Wing, Animal Doctor
10. Dr. Shavargo, Pt. 3
11. Catfish Soup
12. Outro

I'm not saying Attack! Attack! is a super serious band. They obviously aren't taking themselves too seriously. But my question is, how can Eskimo Callboy be a satire of a genre that already laughs at itself? It smells fishy. It just seems like they're calling themselves a satire to avoid the ridicule other bands of this type get.

EverythingAndLess
May 26th 2016


42 Comments


*After the first Eskimo Callboy show*

EC - "That was sick, right? How'd you like the music?"
Showgoer - "Oh man, that was funny. I get it. You guys are a satire, right? You're making fun of core bands."
EC - "Err...yeah, we're a satire. Totally meant to be a joke, man. ...totally what we were going for all along."

Snide
May 26th 2016


7050 Comments

Album Rating: 3.0

Their recent album "Crystals" is pretty good.

Haven't jammed this or their sophomore album though.

Nocturnalize
May 27th 2016


2463 Comments


snide pls

grindcorecore
May 27th 2016


619 Comments


do you take pleasure in writing shitty reviews?

Snide
May 27th 2016


7050 Comments

Album Rating: 3.0

Nocturnalize man, I dig Electronicore. Always been one of my favorite genres.

Sinternet
May 27th 2016


20786 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

snide do u dig unleashing my demons

Snide
May 27th 2016


7050 Comments

Album Rating: 3.0

Never heard them before

Sinternet
May 27th 2016


20786 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

i'd keep it that way

Snide
May 27th 2016


7050 Comments

Album Rating: 3.0

Sinternet, curiosity got the best of me; I checked out one of the tracks, and as an electronicore fan I'm now ashamed.

What the fuck was that.

Snide
May 29th 2016


7050 Comments

Album Rating: 3.0

"Seriously, you should have killed yourself a long time ago"



Dude, honestly it seems from your reviews and your comments on various threads that you seem to seriously just be an angry person in general. Most of your reviews are plagued with the fact that you can't derive the sound of the album itself from your review, a boundless ego that you somehow think it's "cool" to hate certain artists, and the fact that you overemphasize everything in your reviews.



Example: "which puts this band deeper into the pit of despair."



You need to calm down, focus on being objective, and maybe people wouldn't say shit like grindcore's comment about the quality of your reviews. I'm not one to talk about users in the community since I've had an unreal amount of chances, but seeing people tell each other to kill themselves is a personal pet peeve of mine.

Snake.
May 29th 2016


21812 Comments


ignore everything snide just said and log the fuck off

Nocturnalize
May 29th 2016


2463 Comments


sry bout dat snide wasn't trying to h8

sick av btw

grindcorecore
May 29th 2016


619 Comments


i don't write reviews because i know can't write them unlike you, where you continue to write piss poor reviews thinking you know what you're doing. your reviews are full of comments that fail to explain what the album sounds like and what makes them bad albums. you are clearly incapable of writing a single objective point and your ego is too big to listen to anyone's opinions about your reviews.

if you don't want me to tell you that your reviews are fucking garbage, write objective reviews that tell me what the album is about and why is it good or bad.

Sinternet
May 29th 2016


20786 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

your review sux lol



You have to be logged in to post a comment. Login | Create a Profile





FAQ // STAFF & CONTRIBUTORS // SITE FORUM // CONTACT US

Bands: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z


Site Copyright 2005-2019 Sputnikmusic.com
All Album Reviews Displayed With Permission of Authors | Terms of Use | Privacy Policy