Slaves (UK)
Are You Satisfied?


1.0
awful

Review

by helpoemer420 USER (27 Reviews)
June 1st, 2015 | 181 replies


Release Date: 2015 | Tracklist

Review Summary: sugar coated bitter truth indeed

It’s certainly rich for two white men from the Tory capital of the country to call themselves Slaves. It’s also certainly bloody rich for them to masquerade as skinhead punk rockers “sticking it to the man" when they’re wetter than diarrhoea and stand for ***ing nothing.

That’s what this album is. Nothing. Opening song “The Hunter” contains the lyric “you don’t like what we do because we say what we think and that shocks and frightens you”. Remind me what you are saying? I’ve worked zero-hour jobs before too, and the difference is I actually have something to say about it, not the vaguest smarmy rhetoric that is as vacuous as the black hole of nothing this album and its scuzzy, ugly riffs occupy.

The singles are at least catchy, but musically the album falls completely flat. “Sockets” has less dynamics than TV static, “Ninety Nine” has the ***ing nerve to copy the same musical aesthetic as Sleaford Mods (an infinitely better lo-fi working-class punk duo) and the last track “Sugar Coated Bitter Truth” is the band trying to do a haunting ballad and cocking everything up about it.

“Do Something” features frontman Isaac Holman blaring “if you’re not moving, do something” over Laurie Vincen’ts looming guitar riffs, Vincent seriously ripping off Steve Ignorant from ***ing Crass (seriously, *** you for doing that). The effect is cruel, sarcastic, patronising, and that sums up the whole album.

The video for recent single “Cheer Up London" was released on the same day that the people of Britain woke up to the news of five more years of a Conservative government; five more years of division, suffering and death under the policies of austerity. Meanwhile, these two fake pricks milk the sufferings of the disaffected youth who need to know where to focus their anger, and they’re laughing to the ***ing bank. Nothing on this album is heartfelt. Nothing on this album means anything. This album is disgusting and offensive. Take the money you’d blow on a Slaves show and look up Martha, [L]
Sleaford Mods[/L], Skinny Girl Diet, the many other bands that are plugging at the UK DIY circuit who don’t have the benefit of getting lucky and bedding an NME/Radio 1 rep.

Because this band don’t deserve your support. I’m not ***ing satisfied.



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user ratings (64)
2.7
average


Comments:Add a Comment 
helpoemer420
June 1st 2015


188 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0 | Sound Off

I'm not expecting, like, positive plaudits on this, I literally wrote this in five minutes bc I'm fed up of this NME and Radio 1 rimming this bands asshole when they seriously dont deserve it. the fakest fucking fake fucks



http://hitsville.co.uk/post/120444533868/its-certainly-rich-for-two-white-men-from-the

TheSpirit
June 1st 2015


28214 Comments


What truly awful album art

Digging: Saidan - Jigoku: Spiraling Chasms Of The Blackest Hell

helpoemer420
June 1st 2015


188 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0 | Sound Off

"Vincent seriously ripping off Steve Ignorant from ***ing Crass"



meant to say Holman, dont @ me

zakalwe
June 1st 2015


34474 Comments


Their debut was amazing, their live shows a phenomenon and then the man got 'em. I knew it would happen just not quite so quickly

TheCharmingMan
June 1st 2015


576 Comments


I was seriously hoping the review would just say "No."
Still, thumbs up. Always fun to read negative reviews.

Supercoolguy64
June 1st 2015


10702 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

great review dude, i dig these guys music, but the whole "angry old school punk" thing of theirs is fucking stupid. if only these guys weren't complete douche bags irl

Digging: Kalibas/Rune - Kalibas | Rune

Brostep
Emeritus
June 1st 2015


4491 Comments


formatting issue in the last paragraph, accidentally put a new line instead of a close-bracket

helpoemer420
June 1st 2015


188 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0 | Sound Off

@brostep i just copy and pasted this from the site I originally submitted it to, prob why

Supercoolguy64
June 1st 2015


10702 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

the chorus to cheer up london sounds like hollerback girls when they started to spell out bananna

Brostep
Emeritus
June 1st 2015


4491 Comments


just fyi there's an edit review function hidden somewhere on the left side of your profile page :]

BMDrummer
June 1st 2015


14699 Comments


faux

Gameofmetal
Emeritus
June 1st 2015


10974 Comments


hell yeah hyped to hear that jonny craig croon

hue hue hue hue hue

LotusFlower
June 1st 2015


12000 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

First time hearing this and it sounds pretty terrible.

BMDrummer
June 1st 2015


14699 Comments


opening track is awful

zakalwe
June 1st 2015


34474 Comments


Hang on a sec. Having winced when putting this on fearing at what had become of the barbed two pronged attack this band offer I'm pleasantly surprised. It's no way as bad I was thinking. Sockets rules!

Cygnatti
June 1st 2015


35274 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

but but like the one before this was rly good! wtf happened...

zakalwe
June 1st 2015


34474 Comments


The 'man' happened man

Cygnatti
June 1st 2015


35274 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

then i hate the man. >:/

zakalwe
June 1st 2015


34474 Comments


Sigh. You make it all alright cyg bro.

Supercoolguy64
June 1st 2015


10702 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

album is meh



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