Review Summary: Music is dead
I really worry for the generation I am growing up in. At the time I write this review, I am aged eighteen, still in college (or high school, as it's known in America), so really I should be finding Blood on the Dance Floors music all the rage, right? After listening to merely one track off this album, titled 'I Heart Hello Kitty', I just lost all hope in humanity and its tastefulness. Whether it's the barely subtle sexual poetics, it's $10 software-produced beat, or just the whiny pre-pubescent-esque vocals, it's an absolute train wreck in every sense of the metaphorical word.
I was simply scared to listen to any more. If this is really what fellow human beings of my generation classify as entertainment, and not even in a surreal, ironic sense, I just couldn't bare to listen to any more. The only motivation I had for pushing onwards was for the reason I am here - to write this review, something I couldn't have done off the basis of one track. So, I listened to more, and more, and with each passing track I felt my sanity die a little. It never got any better. If anything, it merely got worse.
Let's start with the undercoating of the music itself - the beats. The shortest was of putting it is they are quite simply utterly horrible. Like the clever little metaphor I used before, each of these beats sound like it was produced on cheap computer software, with no real instrumentation or real skill. It sounds like GarageBand, or worse. No heart, no passion, no soul was put into producing these tracks, just poorly-produced synth loops.
Accompanying the atrocity that drags along in the background, the vocalist - you know, the one with the hair which could well be the ideal definition of the modern "scene" stereotype - who happens to show very little vocal talent. If anyone told this man (or woman?) that he (or she?) could sing was either highly intoxicated and joking around, or deaf. They are the only logical explanations. Either that or no-one told him he could sing. The latter sounds incredibly likely. The vocals are hardly melodic, as the "singing" gets whined out, sounding like a 12-year-old. Maybe that's to appeal to his target audience, but realistically, it's just because he's sh*t. There's no better way to put it. No metaphor could compare to how whiny and... sh*t, the vocals are.
So, what about these lyrics that are being whined out? They are a perfect representation of all that is wrong with the youth of today. Aforementioned track 'I Heart Hello Kitty' (as if the track title alone wasn't bad enough) features such heart-felt poetry as
"I like it against the wall/Just f*ck me in the hall/You scream "meat sucks"/Well you're out of luck". Utterly charming, am I right? It just descends into madness as the song progresses, a voice screaming "are they kidding!?" echoing in the back of your brain.
It's "music" like this that makes me worry for my generation. I wouldn't call myself sophisticated; you could even say I'm highly immature, but even I find it hard to believe that this is what it takes to get far in the modern music industry. It's horrible and abusive to the ears and to the mind in almost every way and, dare I say it, is potentially
worse than
Brokencyde. Despite being young myself, the youth of today is an absolute mess, and Blood on the Dance Floor is the perfect embodiment of that mess.
