Dir En Grey
GAUZE


3.5
great

Review

by druglesshippie USER (15 Reviews)
December 19th, 2009 | 33 replies


Release Date: 1999 | Tracklist

Review Summary: Hahahahaha they deleted my reviews again, as if that's gonna stop me, oh, well, This is a good album that Mike (jackson) Patton would be proud of!

Well, good evening everyone, I must start off this sordid affair of reviewing Dir en Grey's debut record with a joke that is sure to please even the most asshole-y people.

What do you call a cow that can't make milk"

An UDDER failure!

HAHAHAHAHA Oh it's so funny! I crack myself up! But that's besides the point, the point is that Dir En Grey are here, and they have some sort of obsession with the germans. And I guess it makes sense, because if every white dude has "yellow fever" then Japanese dudes must have "milky fever" now, this isn't racist, because it's in a joke, and jokes are meant to be laughed at. If a serial killer came at you with a knife, would you gasp and run in fear" No, you sit where you are and you start laughing, this is just the way things work. And Dir en Grey understands this, with crazy song titles like "Schwein no Isu" which I think means "Pig chair" Because some people obviously really enjoy sitting on pigs.

You people might be wondering what this band even sounds like, and I do not have a very good answer to that question, because, frankly I cannot describe their sound for the life of me, I know they have guitars and drums and bass and some crazy dude on vocals, but that's it, they mesh so many different rhythms and riffs into one song that it's hard to discern what the hell is going on. It's almost as if you got System of a Down, stabbed Serj Tankian, replacing him with some psychopath named "Kyo" and giving songwriting responsibilities to an acid-ridden Mike Patton. Yep...that is how I describe their sound. And I bet you all are imagining stuff like I was, so I'm going to give you some of my notes for each of the songs since I know you guys are all into that. Please note that I don't write down everything that happens in the song, and I think that spoils the song anyways, so I want to give you my impression of each song with one short sentence (joke)(relevant joke) for each song, because I thi---

Ha ha I was just kidding song by song reviews are for fags! =)

The album starts off with a track called "Mode of Adam" that probably has nothing to do with the bible, but I don't know Japanese, even though the only vocals on the song are in german, (he's counting down from 10 for some dumb reason) and there's ***ing carnival music! No, this isn't Mr. Bungle, because when the track "Schwein no Isu" starts everything goes to hell, multiple rhythms and riffs maeke it impenetrable at first listen, and each listen afterwards reveals new things! Oh I love records that do that! Don't you" Oh yeah, you can't respond because you are just internet people who have no mouths... yes... Only fingers...

Just like any album it continues on like this for a few songs until BAM "Cage" comes on, and everyone sees what this band is capable of, this, unlike the first few songs is completely cohesive, and surprisingly, it still sounds like the same band. The intro is beautiful, the guitars flow naturally and Kyo puts forward such a beautiful melody that it causes angels to spurt "angel dust" all over the people's faces!

I have to end all the happiness right here, otherwise you might wonder why I gave it an 85 instead of a perfect 100, well, I have to be honest. The album is too long. And it's mainly the fault of 2 10 minute songs. "Mazohyst of Decadence" and "Akura no Oka" both of which could have been cut from the album, and we wouldn't have lost anything. But They decided that they had to have "epics" and I decided that they need to be bitch slapped. Where is a ***ing pimp when I need one"



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user ratings (241)
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INTERNATIONAL POPSTAR STEVEN WILSON (5)
The musical equivalent of the most disgusting and depraved parts of the human psyche....

Pippystix (5)
Dir en grey's best album, has some great music. Very inventive...except for track 7. Ew....

theHODGMAN (5)
A power driven album that proves to be an instant classic....

HenzaT (4)
This album is not very different to other visual kei releases from around this time: it has strong b...



Comments:Add a Comment 
druglesshippie
December 19th 2009


182 Comments

Album Rating: 3.5

oh, well upon reading earlier reviews it seems as if I've made a turn for the worse, sorry to all of my fans, I will try harder *Sniff*

VicariousIntent
December 20th 2009


1626 Comments


what is this i don't even

LiquidVelvet
December 20th 2009


629 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

EDIT: I'm not gonna rant all over you. This is just like, one of the worse reviews out there.

definetheinkblot
May 6th 2010


1 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

Mmmmkay, i read this... and was laughing my ass off the entire time! It was a freakishly written review and reminded me of Jhonen Vasquez on crack, but very funny. Thank you for the entertainment!

Acanthus
September 6th 2010


9812 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

One of their best releases, "mazohyst of decadence" is a personal favorite

nocturne3
June 27th 2012


3 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

Akuro no Oka is amazing *o*



and also Yurameki, Cage, and Yokan.





this is such a bad review that it's funny -_-..

DrGonzo1937
Contributing Reviewer
March 13th 2013


14925 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

Jamming this recently, it's still a class album. Definitely one of their most progressive.

Jasdevi087
December 15th 2014


5360 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

Lol why is this review flagged as the main one?

DrGonzo1937
Contributing Reviewer
December 15th 2014


14925 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

For the lulz

TalonsOfFire
Staff Reviewer
December 15th 2014


17862 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

What adds to the fun is that the others aren't much better

Digging: Prefab Sprout - Steve McQueen

Jasdevi087
December 15th 2014


5360 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

Fuck it, I'll review it when my copy I just bought arrives then.

DrGonzo1937
Contributing Reviewer
December 16th 2014


14925 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

I was actually going to discog this band, but never got round to doing it. After how long Manson took me, I won't be doing another discog anytime soon. lol

Jasdevi087
December 16th 2014


5360 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

Yeah I've nearly finished a discog, just one more to go. It's taken me since I joined over a year ago to do it but hey. I'll do this sometime around Christmas probably.

DrGonzo1937
Contributing Reviewer
December 16th 2014


14925 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

Look forward to it!

Jasdevi087
December 16th 2014


5360 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

I've heard some really enticing things about the physical copy of this. Thick jewel case, 36 page booklet, the reading side of the disc is red. Can't wait 'til Christmas.

DrGonzo1937
Contributing Reviewer
December 16th 2014


14925 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

Yeah, it's really nice. The Macabre one is really cool too!

Jasdevi087
December 16th 2014


5360 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

Plus that album cover is just... oh my goodness.

Jasdevi087
December 30th 2014


5360 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

Oh yeah boi, guess what just came in the mail?

jesterhead92
December 30th 2014


5578 Comments


I haven't listened to this or Macabre, but I just got Kisou in the mail the other day and I love it. How would you compare it to the first two?

Jasdevi087
December 30th 2014


5360 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

Gauze and Macabre aren't as heavy as Kisou I'd say. I personally prefer Gauze to Kisou but Kisou over Macabre. Gauze and Macabre are more alt influenced than their later stuff.



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