Waking The Cadaver
Perverse Recollections Of A Necromangler


1.0
awful

Review

by Lambda USER (69 Reviews)
June 1st, 2009 | 43 replies


Release Date: 2007 | Tracklist

Review Summary: An atrocious metal album. Absolutely terrible, with awful vocals, sloppy drumming, and boring guitar riffs. The basically non-existent bass doesn't help either.

Waking the Cadaver is one of the worst metal bands around. With their god-awful vocals, sloppy instrumentation, and overall bad-sounding songs, this band shouldn't have released an album, at least in this abysmal state.

But why is this band so awful? you ask. What makes them worse than the hundreds of other death metal bands out there? Well, first of all are the horrible vocals by Don Campan. 90% of the time he sounds like he's dying, and the other 10% have him screaming in a traditional death metal voice. His voice is absolutely disgusting though, and you would be surprised to find that there are actual lyrics. The lyrics are atrocious though. These lyrics are some of the worst and most violent I've ever had the displeasure of reading. I don't even want to put them in this review, but all of them involve grisly murder in some way, and 90% of them are about the degradation of women. Just looking at these abhorrent lyrics makes me want to give this a terrible album a 1 because of the sheer filth that this guy wrote.

But it doesn't stop there. What about the other members, you ask? The drummer, Dennis Morgan, is extremely sloppy, frequently going off-time and messing up on his beats, which primarily consist of blasting, slow breakdown beats, and two-handed gravity blasts. Yes, two-handed. The guitarists, Jimmy Regan and Nick Palmateer, play boring, repetitive chugging riffs throughout almost the entire album. There are no solos anywhere, and while they occasionally get in a good riff (see the beginning of "Raped, Pillaged, and Gutted"), it usually only lasts a couple of seconds. Apparently there was a bassist named Steve Vermilyea on the album, but he might as well have not been there, considering that you can never hear him anyway (besides about two seconds on "Type A Secretor").

The songs themselves, if you can get past the terrible titles, are extremely repetitive, fueled by the same blast beating, breakdowns, terrible vocals, and low-tuned guitar riffs. I would have said something about the bass too, but since it's practically non-existent, I can't. The only spots of difference on this album are the Intro and Interlude tracks (titled "Intro" and "Interlude", respectively), which are both ambient songs, and the voice samples that open and close the last track "I Know the Insides of Women". Unfortunately, these changes are few and far between, as the other songs on the album are all the same terrible death metal, with bad vocals and bad lyrics. If you're looking for an atrocious, awful, saturnalien (how many more synonym's for "bad" are there?) album, then buy this piece of garbage. Don't say I didn't warn you.



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user ratings (541)
1.5
very poor
other reviews of this album
1 of
  • liftyourself (5)
    An unlistenable masterpiece....

    Necrotica (0)
    Fuck......

    vanderb0b (1)
    When it seemed that Waking The Cadaver could only go up, they managed to spectacularly plu...

    Subrick (1)
    The single worst metal album ever released. And I use the words "metal" and "album" as lig...

  • LoveTheEndless (1)
    Waking the Cadaver offers an album to the simpletons in love with all things "brutal."...

    Starblind (1)
    BRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!...

    TPM731 (1)
    Who the hell signed this band?...



Comments:Add a Comment 
VikkiH
June 1st 2009


248 Comments


Wow...

I looked up some of the lyrics because they sound messed up and I laughed at how stupid they are.

I haven't heard this band, half-tempted to check out their myspace for more lols.

Short review but I can see this is intended to be a bit of a rant.

And you're right, this guy does sound like a douche.

VikkiH
June 1st 2009


248 Comments


LOL

I checked out their myspace...

It sounds like what my washing machine sounded like after I kicked it one day XD

These guys so want to be a harder version of Cannibal Corpse...

LOL!

Lunarfall
June 1st 2009


3178 Comments


youre just jealous that you could never make music as br00tal as this in your life

Lambda
June 1st 2009


2654 Comments


Yes, that's it...
This album is extremely bad though.

KYZAR
June 1st 2009


513 Comments


im gonna have to listen to these guys once just to see how horrific the are.


i listened.... and thats un budda amout of suck! holy crap

Lambda
June 2nd 2009


2654 Comments


Now you know the awfulness that is Waking The Cadaver

ninjuice
June 2nd 2009


6760 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

Good review but I think the other one covered it pretty well.

two-handed gravity blasts


Someone explain to me what gravity blasts are?

Lunarfall
June 2nd 2009


3178 Comments


listen to slit your guts by cryptopsy. 1:13 is a gravity blast.

Lambda
June 2nd 2009


2654 Comments


A gravity blast is a one-handed roll, done by placing the drumstick on the edge of the sanre drum and moving up and down quickly.

A two-handed gravity blast is cheating though :P... it's more like a roll.

ninjuice
June 2nd 2009


6760 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

Lol I just looked up a grav. blast on Youtube. Doing that with two hands is definitely cheating.

Band is even worse than I thought.

Zip
June 2nd 2009


5312 Comments


Way ranty...

WoodLawn
June 2nd 2009


134 Comments


I find the only people who listen to Waking the Cadaver are 16-year-olds who want to flaunt their bro0tal cred.

burnafterbreeding
June 2nd 2009


1529 Comments


Eh, I feel like albums this bad deserve some sort of satirical review rather than a short serious one. wasn't a fan of either.

rasputin
June 2nd 2009


14967 Comments


you guys just don't get slamzz seriously


have you even HEARD the stray cars of qotsa

CkCk
June 2nd 2009


141 Comments


roflmao

ConorMichaelJoseph
June 2nd 2009


1870 Comments


Deathcore moar liek gaycore

Bullitt
June 2nd 2009


1666 Comments


Your gonna be the source of many nightmares with that display picture.

ConorMichaelJoseph
June 2nd 2009


1870 Comments


lol its Pazuzu from The Exorcist, no less

Bullitt
June 2nd 2009


1666 Comments


Ya i know lol. When i was a kid me and my friends tried forever to pause the vhs on his face, then when we did we left the room and forgot about it and i came back and almost shit my pants lol.

Phantom
June 2nd 2009


9010 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

shit my pants lol.



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