Alright here we go again.
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August 30th, 2026
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lmao the title and the unconfirmed year bit
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I will take this as gospel truth even though I shouldn't
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Why couldn't I write a newstitle this long? I could barely fit anything sensible with the characters I was given
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lmao
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The animation says 2019. MMXIX.
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I edited the article to reflect the year. I initially left it in there because I thought it was funny but I don't want to confuse people.
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Guido still doesn't believe you
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Aiwaz is crying tears of joy somewhere
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Didn't see that dude in any of the recent Tool posts. Is he in a coma or something?!
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nah he got banned
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Lol what did he do
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everything wrong
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fake news, there's only been like 4,500 days since "10,000 Days" call me again in 2033 lmao
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I'm almost concerned at how little I care tbh
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I'm not as hyped as i thought i would be, mainly because i feel that Maynard's performance will be forgettable
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Already? Damn. I haven't even checked '10,000 Days' yet.
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you had 13 years to check it out
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Only 13 years? These guys move fast.
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I'm more excited to see this site lose their collective marbles over an actual new Tool album. Calling it now, the thread for it will be one for the history books.
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the overall impact in the internet will be entertaining yes
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Can't wait for the polarizing opinions this album will have among users here and the inevitable 3.2 average it will generate after 13 years of waiting.
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pretty sure its gonna be 4 + for the first few weeks
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I too am curious why my news articles are limited to about 4 characters while this title is a full sentence
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"I too am curious why my news articles are limited to about 4 characters while this title is a full sentence"
The secret is to write a short article title when you post the article, then go back and edit it.
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Can definitely wait to be bored of this.
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Can't wait until all these h8rs r banned!!!
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Yawn
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lmao yeah sure
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Lul
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Nice, and then Winds of Winter can be released and Half-Life 3 after that
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probs gonna be crap, let's be realistic here
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Yes, the hottest shit of the year (after Periphery m/)
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"Can't wait for the polarizing opinions this album will have among users here and the inevitable 3.2 average it will generate after 13 years of waiting."
Yo dis not APC we talkin bout
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Winds of Winter sounds like the Agalloch album that never saw the light of day
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The only thing killing my hype is you guys
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The album's future comment thread is a guaranteed shitstorm. Can I call dibs on the review?
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hell no you can't lol
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Can't wait to become a contributing reviewer just so my terrible opinions and taste can look like I know what I'm talking about
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;]
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The salty tears of plebs are a definite perk of the job I gotta say.
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[2]
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'The album's future comment thread is a guaranteed shitstorm.' (2)
Looking forward to the aftermath more than the album tbh, I'll check it out just so I can have an (un)informed opinion of course.
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wow earlier than I thought.
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Boring band agreed everyone. m/
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Just so everyone knows I dibbed the new Tool album and I'm going to review it like I would any indie-folk album, by talking about the lyrics and how they've touched me inside and out.
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How do we know that you have the requisite credentials Sowing? What prior experience do you have with eastern philosophy, transcendental meditation, the fibonacci sequence and the comedy of Bill Burr?
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I haven't even heard all the Tool albums but it's pretty much like APC right
"With Tool's latest album, they've finally managed to live up to the promise of Eat The Elephant."
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Lol! By the looks of things that might be the sanest take that this album gets. Alright I rescind my dibs claim in favour of yours.
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this thread is canon
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haha I'm kidding
I'd never review Tool
I won't spoil the surprise of which staffer is reviewing it, however. And I still expect to read your take, Sitar!
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Lol @ at the haters here. What's so wrong about being excited about a Tool album. Most people know they write good lyrics, which if you couldn't tell, is a thing that it's already quite hard to come by
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"it's pretty much like APC right"
alright you're not qualified
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Holy shit
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I knew a guy in middle school who used to dig this band. Cool to see they're still making music
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Maybe August 30th is the actual album title, just sayin'
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Bwahaha! Can you imagine if that were to actually happen?
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meh.
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"NOT A DRILL:"
A drill is a type of tool, so maybe they're a drill
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"I knew a guy in middle school who used to dig this band. Cool to see they're still making music"
How's he doin' ? I heard 50 is a rough age for some
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Won't believe it until it's in my hands/hard drive.
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He still lives at home, but probably has a sweet setup in the basement
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I'll honestly believe it when I see it. I'm trying not to get too excited.
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I do declare
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"I'm not as hyped as i thought i would be, mainly because i feel that Maynard's performance will be forgettable"
yeah same, been waiting for years and idk why i'm not that excited
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"Nice, and then Winds of Winter can be released and Half-Life 3 after that"
lol / :c
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How can we be 100% sure they mean 2019?
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Tool be like: “NEW ALBUM AUGUST 30”
disclaimer: in 2045 srry
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LOL
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Tool V: Select Difficulty
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Tool IV - Volume 2: No Album For Tomorrow
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Tool II: This Time It’s Real
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fake news
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"I'm almost concerned at how little I care tbh"
^this
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A tool might not be a drill, but a drill is, in fact, a tool.
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Wow ars of all people already made a similar joke guess I better kill myself
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grats u got the joke
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Dont speak to me
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Get hype.
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I represent a part of Potsy that he's trying to repress
Let your inner Ars out Potsy!
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interesting
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@ars the side that likes ween(er)?
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"Nice, and then Winds of Winter can be released and Half-Life 3 after that"
Can we add a new F-Zero to that while we're at it? Please?
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a new f zero would be sick
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20,000 DAYS: THIS TIME IT'S PERSONAL
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@Potsy: sure
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pots is a DRILL get it cause hes a TOOL LOL
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What's that about tools captain "zeta insecurity compensator"?
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I know u still salty and it's been months chongo boy
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can't wait to 1 this
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It's finally happening
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too bad i moved from obsessive excitement to not really giving much of a fuck years ago
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Tool has the most aggressively insecure fanbase in the world lol
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I feel like when you wait this long it's better to just drop it out of the clear blue, kind of like what Brand New did in 2017 after an 8 year wait
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yeah hype can destroy itself when its given too long for expectations to build
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They probably would have released it out of the blue, if not for the prospect of people tweeting "new album when" at Maynard every 10 seconds for the 3 months.
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We are all blessed on the day of August 30, 2019.
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Now with this out of the way, attention turns to the next highly anticipated album that's taking forever: Stampede of the Disco Elephants.
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But have you guys ever tried DMT?
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Should have been 27 years later. Won't check.
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shit band. *if* it comes out it's going to be just like when Angelic 2 The Core came out.
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As per usual, this thread is toxic bullshit.
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Id take their albums on Spotify over a new album tbh
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Expecting 80 minutes of riffs like this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocE2mxkwG_w
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Id take their albums on Spotify over a new album [2]
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"Expecting 80 minutes of riffs like this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocE2mxkwG_w"
lol i love that video. also, i heard the new?? song they played at a concert and it was kinda like that and i was very disappointed
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Why this burning need to have their music on Spotify? Can’t you just listen to the CDs? I’ve never understood this. Maybe because I still buy all the albums I like on CD, and listen to Spotify only a few times a week.
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IT'S HAPPENING
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convenience most likely
also stampede of the disco elephants will be better than this ever will, mark my words
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Nutttttttt. Nut everywhere
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Sint is right
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tool more like stool HAHAHAHAHAHSHAHAH
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They never said August 30th was a release date for the album..Just August 30th. Maybe it's the date they will announce another announcement.
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IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE "TOOL" MAY BE A DRILL
SHOOT 33333333s HOUSTON TEXAS
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Why the hell did it have to be on my birthday
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Best birthday evar?
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They never said August 30th was a release date for the album..Just August 30th. Maybe it's the date they will announce another announcement.
Sounds exactly like what Tom DeLonge has been doing for years.
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AOTY lists are gonna be funny this year.
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by the way where the fuck is a single? or album title? As far as I know this means nothing and they're still on perma-hiatus
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local man to shower for first time in months to pickup new tool record
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^ snortled.
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"by the way where the fuck is a single? or album title? As far as I know this means nothing and they're still on perma-hiatus"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ZJIldL5TZU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=akeCFH7YybM
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and i don't really know if i would consider them on hiatus, i mean they have played this songs and have announced that something is coming on august, so i would say this does means at least something and they're out of the hiatus
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That's how you know we're in the alternate, dark timeline.
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I want to believe.
I actually kind of believe.
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It's happening. But we're still just going to wish it was as good as Lateralus.
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Judging by the stupid live recordings, I'm excited. Sounds like we might get some really trancy and mellow prog tool, which I'm all about
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august 30 is just gonna be a teaser for a single
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I have literally been waiting for this since I was 8 years old. I still remember my dad showing me the music video for Sober to freak me out as a kid, that shit gave me nightmares. Now as an old man my patience has finally paid off!
Also claymation still freaks me the hell out...
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I was 10 last time they put an album out, if anything this album will at least make me feel like I've wasted a good chunk of my life
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omg this is SOOO epic guys what the FUCK
i CANT even believe my EYES
what are they seeing FAM
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WTFFFFFFF
https://twitter.com/djspiralz/status/1126118232648232962
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that means they still late smh
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'local man to shower for first time in months to pickup new tool record'
Nah, surely the compulsive rabid masturbation and hype-induced (involuntary) bowel movements would make showering redundant after like 5 minutes.
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it would
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What if August 30th they just announced their retirement
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lmao
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"What if August 30th they just announced their retirement"
that's SOOOOOO Maynard *knee slap*
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it is
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'20,000 DAYS: THIS TIME IT'S PERSONAL'
So stupid, but it got a laugh out of me, grats.
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its gonna be called 7493t2065yghweuwobvnjksld dentjghkilox;
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fuck off darius. fuck you dude. fuck off man i hate you
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lol who said that again, was it Gyro
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Not to shit in the stew, but how do we know August 30th is actually the album release? Did I miss something, I haven't seen them confirm it's the whole album anywhere... It could be a single, it could be an announcement of a single, or an announcement of an armpit fart.
Btw their official site is dope, that rotating skeleton floating with the dragon balls is so badass
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”lol who said that again, was it Gyro "
Was it Toondude?
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Average rating will be a 3.5 tops
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who cares lmao
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OMG IS THIS FOR REAL MY GOD HOLY SHIT 13 YRS FUCKIN 13 YRS THIS ALBUM BETTER BE A MASTERPIECE TOOL TOOL TOOL TOOL TOOL TOOL TOOL TOOL TOOL TOOL TOOL TOOL TOOL TOOL TOOL TOOLTOOL TOOL TOOL TOOL TOOL TOOL TOOL TOOL
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sweet
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MONKEY KILLING MONKEY KILLING MONKEY KILLING MONKEY KILLING MONKEY
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albums already getting a 5 from me from the two songs I've heard
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fanboy cuck
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what a tool
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Translate this page? Always translate Vietnamese
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>chrome
kek
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'Translate this page?'
The Sputnik community produces so much incomprehensible gibberish that we can masquerade as an alien life-form. Nice.
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Normally I wouldn't care about Tool but the most recent APC album was really great. I will check this album out because Maynard recently put out great material on Eat The Elephant.
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Tool gonna Tool. We'll all be sufficiently whelmed and it'll go down as "not great, but better than Opiate at least."
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Opiate was the band's pinnacle maaaaan
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thank god they're not on Rise Records, the announcement would be "10,000 Days: Deluxe Edition" with a remix of Vicarious and an acoustic version of Lost Keys
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good joke!
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no third option?
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-only if it's good
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GO AHEAD, THROW YOUR VOTE AWAY
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Can anyone explain to me how this is an album confirmation? I'm very curious, if it's not too much trouble.
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it obviously is, plus Maynard just confirmed it after
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idt two songs debuting a day before was a coincedence
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Just trying to understand how a banner saying Tool - August 30 = New album release but ok, you guys are the experts.
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How is Gyro close to toondude?
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"GO AHEAD, THROW YOUR VOTE AWAY"
lmao
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what if the album comes out and its just like that one april fools thread that one guy made claiming he got a leak of the album
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"Just trying to understand how a banner saying Tool - August 30 = New album release but ok, you guys are the experts."
Maybe because it was the most logical thing to be announced and Maynard has already confirmed it?
Which part don't you understand.
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where did he confirm it
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https://twitter.com/mjkeenan/status/1126869696819748865
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ahh, good for him
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As excited as i am, the album could never live up to all the hype they've built. Idc how good it is.
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@ Valkoor I wrote that before they announced it on twitter my man
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Translate this page?
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the whole thing? into which language?
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OK so I translated some of the select cuts for you guys, thank me later...
what if the album comes out và nó chỉ như thế một một phần đầu của người dùng một người dùng có thể làm việc làm việc đã nhận một kết nối của album
Có thể vì nó là một số hợp lệ cần đăng ký và đã có đã xác định nó?
Nếu phần không bạn biết.
Không thể shit trong sự stew, nhưng làm bạn có biết August 30th là thực hiện việc bản album? Không tìm thấy một gì nào, I không tìm thấy nó xác định nó whole album anywhere ... Bạn có thể là một một, nó có thể xác định một một, hoặc xác định của Armpit fart.
Btw của official site là dope, có thể chạy bộ đệm tạo với dragon ball is so badass
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now translate it into morse
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phenomenal news article. lovely title. great work lad
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Never mind that new thing, checks these remixes GODDAMN: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLR9aD4y1pbrzIJuG36ohb98eV5Warzc_d&fbclid=IwAR1vGLHX3ID6AMKlgp2AowVC6jTtdbEPVgiKDuEa37_Nc3yslSVp-Q5TWUs
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this is awful news for people who have been enjoying trolling Tool fans for years. wtf Manyard.
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you think the album is actually coming out?
lmao
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i hope not for comments sake
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In fact we should go back in time and kill the band members before they can meet each other.
The music may be awesome, but is it worth the grief of every Tool thread on the internet?
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I’m still in disbelief they’ve even released the fucking album title.
H Y P E
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I. WON'T. BELIEVE. IT. TILL. I. HOLD. IT. IN. MY. HANDS.
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this will be the sputnik event for this year
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also, my prediction is that this will be the most reviewed sputnik album for the year 2019
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“”also, my prediction is that this will be the most reviewed sputnik album for the year 2019“
If I’m not first I’ll delete the fucker instantly.
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anyone on this site could record something better than this in 23 minutes with no electricity
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sounds bae question mark
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this headline makes me lol even years later
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lol forreal
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Hopefully better than Fear Inoculum
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idk I think it's going to be exactly like Fear Inoculum
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Nah I ensure you this won t top FI
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