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5 Most Annoying Trends In Modern Music

Jesus Harold Christ, shit's getting ridiculous these days...
1 Dumb Misspellings
Guilty Parties: Limp Bizkit, Korn, Trapt, most nu-metal bands.

How do you make a boring couple of words into a more noticable (and noticably fucking horrible) band
name? Simple: ask a 3 year old to spell them out for you. With such an unoriginal approach to naming
the band, it goes without saying that in most cases, the music followed suit...
2 The "Heavy Metal Umlaut"
Guilty Parties: Motörhead, Mötley Crüe, and oddly, Hüsker Dü, among others.

According to Wikipedia, this practice is "a form of marketing that evokes stereotypes of boldness and
strength commonly attributed to peoples such as the Vikings." So, maybe a horned helmet would make it
clearer to the guy at the record shop when you ask for a album by "Meurtley Croooou."
3 Braidlocks
Guilty Parties: Predominantly musicians in 90s nu-metal, industrial, and goth-rock bands.

So you want dreadlocks, but without all the hassle, dirt, hair-twisting, and abstaining from washing
that they entail? Why not get someone to braid your hair? "But it looks like dreadlocks from a
distance!" No it fucking doesn't, you look like a ridiculous diet-coke version of the Bad Brains.
4 Br00tal Moshing
Guilty Parties: Righteous Bros at Hatebreed concerts, and hairsprayed monstrosities at BMTH gigs.

In the decade or more since Sick of It All parodied it in their "Step Down" video, people still like to
pull "The Windmill," "The Lawnmower" and spazz out like a pissed up ninja in the pit. Newflash, cunts,
if your mum buys you your wifebeater tops / hairspray, then you're not a fucking ninja. Fuck off.
5 Corpse Paint and Spikes
Guilty Parties: Dimmu Borgir, Gorgoroth, Attila Csihar, and most Black Metal bands.

Honestly lads, when I feel like summoning the dark lord Aaag'a'tho'th through the medium of dark
misanthropic dirging, I do it in jeans and a t-shirt...
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