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User
Reviews 4
Approval 63%
Soundoffs 22
Album Ratings 163
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Last Active 03-15-14 11:02 pm
Joined 07-02-12
Review Comments 1,425
| COOKING WITH TREEMAN 205: HAMBURGER CALZONE
THis is Tree to the man coming at you live from a coffee shop/art gallery where 'm drinking a cortado made from single lot farmer direct espresso from counter culture. Here's the deal. IT has come to my attention that I guess a lot of the food I'm making might be too complicated or that you all are too lazy or something like that. I've got a real easy one for you today, and I mean like you barely have to do shit, but doing it will probably make you feel kinda good about yourself. So here we go: Hamburger Calzone. List is techno digs. | | 1 |  | Vril
Portal
You're gonan want:
1 f-in oven, preheated to 350
1/3 pound of hamburger meat (80/20 motherfucker!!!)
Some Monterey Jack fuck your cheddar
Onions
Garlic Powder
Salt, pepper
some random dried herbs and shit idk!!!!
1 pizza dough, just buy one from the god damn store | | 2 |  | Lakker
Tundra
You're gonna do:
1) dice your onions and get em all brown adn black and shit, fucking season them!!!!
2) season your meat with garlic, salt, pepper, oregano?? idk
3) cut up some cheese in to pretty small pieces, use your best judgement
4) Take some pizza dough and roll it out into your best circle about 1 foot in diameter, this should give you enough room to fuck up. The thickness should be too thick for you to see through it, about the thickness of a piece of carboard right off the fucking moving box. ALSO: dont forget to keep adding flour while your rolling if the dough ever begins to stick.
5) put your meet, onions, and cheese right int he god damn middle. You can add other toppings if you want!
6) fold it into a god damn half moon and roll the loose edges up. look at a picture of a calzone if you're too damn dumb
7) put that shit on the baking sheet with non stick spray on it
8) brush the motherfucker with a nice egg wash
9) Bake at 350 for like 20 mins for a nice mid | | 3 |  | Marcel Dettmann
Dettmann
10) Plate in a shallow fucking bowl with three parmesan tuiles
OK! there, are you happy? That's easy as shit to make, it might as well be in one of those dumbass facebook food videos with the dumbass music idiot. go make it if you want, dont if you dont want to. All in all this would cost you like 4 bucks to make so its not even a loss if you fuck it up. Piss off! | |
Treeman
04.08.16 | beginners lesson today!!!!!!!! | SPRFanOf5H
04.08.16 | This actually is easy enough to make really | Piglet
04.08.16 | oh man i make calzones all the time they're fucking brilliant, yeah nah just weigh the dough out to 140-200 grams, roll it out like an oval, slob all the meats and cheeses and whatever the fuck at one end amd wrap it around, fold them over each other and bake that bitch fucker | zakalwe
04.08.16 | Sounds amazing. I'll use cheddar though. | SitruK6
04.08.16 | treeman's lists always make me hungary as fuk | Treeman
04.08.16 | im here to pelase everyone besides the idiots |
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