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the search for the worst: week 2

A pretty shit week honestly but its over now. to see my impressions on the albums with no descrptions, check last weeks list.
Chuckles & Mr. Squeezy

2Celtic Frost
Cold Lake

3Rectal Smegma
Keep On Smiling

What a pleasant thought this bands name conjures to mind. The name is just meant to get some shock listens in the hopes of someone checking out the music because its pretty sub standard otherwise. Putting porn stars from a lesbian anal scene on the cover probably helped too. I can only describe the music Rectal Smegma plays as someone stretching out an opening riff from the most bland deathcore band you can think of (take your pick) and stretching it out for 20 minutes. Now imagine someone gurgling water with some distortion thrown over it for vocals and you now know what The Smeg sounds like. 1.75/5
4King 810
Memoirs of a Murderer

The first minute of being exposed to king 810 I watched the official music for kill em all. I immediately thought “oh another tough guy band about violence and general edginess” and I was pretty much right with a few exceptions. King 810 likes to protect its music behind a guise of something deeper going on with them that their music actually represents. The wannabe lyrics that want to act like they have something to say about the human condition and society and poetry slam tracks actually manage to present the band as more immature than they would be if they actually just stuck to playing straight angry metal. I guess I should say their music would have been stale 15 years ago where the band tries to emulate nu metal bands from around that time but in the most boring way with an attempt to cover up the fact by being as brutal as they can manage. It doesn’t help that this album feels like it takes for-fucking-ever to get through and yet it manages to do nothing with its time. 1.6/5
5Woe, Is Me

6Falling in Reverse
Fashionably Late

Im ashamed that I was able to actually use this album as a breather as I was greeted by a band that at least tried to write catchy captivating music. Ill say that I was a bit taken aback by how annoying Ronnie Radke has gotten in terms of his voice and lyricism. Between hyping up how bad he is for cheating, lying, and being a douche in general it’s a bit insulting that he wants to come of as lovable and fun. Theres not much going on with the music itself as it tries to emulate to safest poppy guitar tones as an avenue for the main vocalist. Occasionally they’ll have some token metalcore track that tries to emulate DIYLF era Escape the fate but it fails to inspire as Ronnie demands the spotlight for himself. Oh, and he tries rapping. Thinking about it this album just comes across as mindless self indulgence for Ronnie and it becomes more mind numbing as the album progresses. 1.5/5
7Blood on the Dance Floor

Ugh this week sucks. So putting aside the rape allegations from one of the members of this band it’s pretty hard for me to see how this group even managed to get a sizeable fan base. Pedestrian lyrics (that actually feel similar in style to king 810) that rhyme about love, loss, sexual assault, innuendo, and fitting outside societal norms alongside stock sounding electronica that makes Snide’s electronica sound like Burial as a comparison is not my idea of a good time. I can’t imagine that the edgy kids of today (or yesteryear to be more realistic) ever needed some band like this when literally every other scene band had a similar messages but offered way more in terms of depth, musicianship, longevity, and enjoyment. Being an “outcast” isn’t even out of the norm nowadays as the alternative becomes more mainstream by the day. I’m surprised BOTDF managed to stay a band as long as they did but at least we can expect TWO new avenues of music since the split. 1.4/5
Grave New World

9Bull of Heaven
210: Like a Wall in Which an Insect Live

50,000 hours of your life/5
10Etienne Sin
Sinna: Volume 1

Fuuuuuck. This easily takes the case for worst album of the week. Similar to what happened last week when Discharged showed Celtic Frost just how to make a worse album, Etienne Sin apes Ronnie Radke’s delusions of greatness. Not only downright insulting to everyone who listens to it, Sinna is the worst case narcissism I’ve heard in music. Etinne or whatever his real fucking name is might have something to back himself up if he made good music but he manages to make the most basic, uninspired beats and breakdowns as well. BUT THAT’S NOT ALL! You can have the luxury of paying him to teach you how to become a masterful musician like him. The more I read up on this dude the more I detest him as a human being, I could go on for longer but for now this is the waste of garbage as it seeped out of the bag and ate its way through the plastic of the trash can and dried on the floor underneath permanently leaving a moldy stain that’s probably unhealthy for you to linger around. Eternally damned/5
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