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Halloween Ranked
11Malevolent Creation

Halloween: Resurrection - This movie is straight up garbage. It’s barely a movie and looks like it was made for TV. Plus points for Busta Rhymes making me laugh, but I barely even count this as being apart of the series tbh. I don’t passionately hate this as much as the Zombie films, but it’s objectively worse.

Halloween (2007)- Ok, well if I go on about this movie for too long I won’t have enough space. To summarize, every single character regardless of profession or age is the same dispicable redneck who yells random expletives at volume 11 at all times for no reason. Instead of Michael being some unexplained force of evil, he is now a bullied, annoying little redneck who just happens to be the most jacked person on the planet after not moving for over a decade in an asylum. There are also just so many odd direction choices that are hard to summarize without analyzing every scene because so many decisions suck. It just looks like an MTV music video. A “fuck you” out of 10.
9Cannibal Corpse
The Bleeding

Halloween II (2009)- So this movie fucking blows. The decision to have Michael without his mask for a third of the movie and speak at the end was a big chance that really landed flat for me. The dream sequences were also garbage. This has a lot of problems as Zombie’s first remake, but at least I didn’t have to watch young, shitty, redneck Michael for 45 minutes. Barely better than Zombie’s first Halloween movie.
The Erosion of Sanity

Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers - MY LORD, this movie is boring. How in the hell did they fuck up so badly after 4? They ended that on such a positive note. Loomis is way more unhinged than usual to the point of being unpleasant. I guess the main girl is not really evil and is mute the whole fucking movie? The kills blow. Overall, this is a boring pile of nonsense.
Dawn of Possession

Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers - This is a bit of a mess, but it’s a fun mess. It has an electric guitar soundtrack, witches, and young Paul Rudd. It’s fine to drink to.
Effigy of the Forgotten

Halloween H20 - This one is not quite as good as I remember. Laurie’s story is interesting, but everything else going on is pretty damn boring. Michael Myers also has like 4 different masks in this movie and doesn’t look all that imposing. Props for the Laurie plot and that fantastic ending, but everything else was kinda shit imo.
Left Hand Path

Halloween III: Season of the Witch - This one gets a lot of shit for not having Michael, but on its own merits it’s actually not a bad film. It’s not a GREAT film either, but it has enough creepy elements and scenes to serve as a fine movie to watch on halloween. That one scene with the kid and the mask is one of the most fucked up scenes I’ve seen in an 80s movie, so props to them. This one is not as good as the best Michael Myers films, but it’s still worth checking out.
Like an Ever Flowing Stream

Halloween 2018 - Now if this movie just fixed it’s very easily fixable flaws, it would have been #2. The Loomis 2 subplot is actually one of my least favorite subplots in all of horror. Some admittedly funny but terribly timed humor makes some of the most frightening scenes in this movie way less frightening. Some plot bullshit here too, but other than that - the kills fucking rule, Carpenter’s score is amazing, Michael feels like Michael again Laurie’s story is incredibly interesting, and the filmmaking quality of this is so much more professional than most of the series. Hopefully part 2 will fix all the bullshit.
Cause of Death

Halloween 4 - This movie is hailed by some as the best sequel, but tbh it just doesn’t have the same film quality as the first two and feels a little cheaper. That being said, this is one of the scariest in the franchise (even with that shit mask) and is one of the most interesting story-wise. The return of Loomis doesn’t make much sense, but he makes this movie so goddamn enjoyable. The ending of this movie is one of the best scenes in this entire franchise. Great stuff.
Consuming Impulse

Halloween II (1981) - Now this is a pretty noticeable step down from part 1, but Carpenter’s writing is still better than most in the series. In this one, the mask still looks the same, which is a huge plus for the scare factor. The kills are more brutal this time around, which some people had a problem with but I actually rather enjoyed them. The cinematography in this one is not as great as part 1, but it is leagues better than everything else in the series excluding 2018. There are some logical inconsistencies here, and I don’t particularly love the rushed twist and hate even more that Laurie never reacts to the fact that she is Michael’s sister, but it’s still a great movie even with these flaws.
1Morbid Angel
Altars of Madness

Halloween (1978)- The ultimate slasher movie. The suspense is some of the best there is. The music is iconic, the cinematography is interesting, and the characters (even the cheesy ‘TOTALLY’ girl) are great fun. There is a reason why this movie basically defined the genre and was ripped off constantly for years. 10/10, by far the best in the franchise and one of my all time favorite horror movies/movies in general.
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