2024 BNM: cringe index
Now with twice as much index and half as much salt, see the first comment uh lfg |
| 89 |  | tripleS
ASSEMBLE24
this making BNM was a conspiracy and therefore must be either the most or least cringe thing that happened to the list all year. the answer right now is (checks notes) uhhh you're welcome |
| 88 |  | Nala Sinephro
Endlessness
rare for the best album of the year to also be one of the most tasteful and universally palatable, but there we have it. of course it was on BNM -- where else would it be? |
| 87 |  | Arooj Aftab
Night Reign
Cringing on this should carry an insta-ban: one of the most grass-touching fresh air-breathing soul-cleansing Sput detoxes of the year |
| 86 |  | gyrofield
A Faint Glow of Bravery
LFG drum and bass foot-in-the-door from the start of the year (i'm an opeth fan actually) |
| 85 |  | Tiny Yawn
Paddle Ship
the name of this band is Tiny Fucking Yawn and you will say it with reverence and joy |
| 84 |  | And Also The Trees
Mother-of-pearl Moon
I feel bad for not checking this and sad that that lovely, lovely artwork didn't have more time on the frontpage. Whatever knocked this out of the BNM grid has a lot to answer for |
| 83 |  | Amanda Anne Platt and the Honeycutters
The Ones That Stay
Lovely artwork, lovely band name, lovely arrangements, somewhat it-is-what-it-is country - no cringe or stupid discourse around this one, you either like it for what it is or you ain't, and uhhh- |
| 82 |  | Shygirl
Club Shy
This banging EP for pop-friendly club-going sex-having pals and gals made BNM on this fucking website lmfao tell me something else I would not have believed |
| 81 |  | Coals
Sanatorium
only cringe here is how much everyone including me slept on it smdh |
| 80 |  | Truck Violence
Violence
"Truck Violence - Violence" lol yes fucking please, never enough of this wavelength on the frontpage the review summary should have been the band name lfg |
| 79 |  | Underworld
Strawberry Hotel
nothing less cringe than beating the cringe! these rave-hardened boomers bring the best out of whichever post-dancefloor Gen Whatevers picked up, important educational document of The Good 90s Vibes |
| 78 |  | Judas Priest
Invincible Shield
This was originally going to be much higher on the list, but if we're talking about boomers bringing their A-game for Underworld, then Judas Priest definitely get a pass no I have not heard this album |
| 77 |  | Tempalay
((ika))
There are precious few tickets here to quit coping and get down to angst-free fun, so let's give this one its due and rejoice |
| 76 |  | Willi Carlisle
Critterland
The first BNM of the year is always a make or break for annual cringe, and oh boi this one came through for us! It's called Critterland, not Cringeland: anyone who'd stick this further up the list is either homophobic, hates country or has no soul, and if I can qualify as squarely as I do for the latter two of those attributes and still get my hug on to this, you can be damn sure you can too. |
| 75 |  | Skee Mask
Resort
oh hey look another excellent Skee Mask release how dare he how long will he get away with this goddammit we'll pin some cringe on him next time |
| 74 |  | Four Tet
Three
everyone loves four tet everyone likes four tet albums no one cringeposts four tet lfg |
| 73 |  | toe
NOW I SEE THE LIGHT
We abide an undersung comeback making BNM and still landing as an undersung comeback |
| 72 |  | Melt-Banana
3+5
so back |
| 71 |  | Alora Crucible
Oak Lace Apparition
Almost the least cringe timeline possible for a New Age album called Oak Lace Apparition that contains spoken word songs and a drone outro |
| 70 |  | Hoplites
Παραμαινομένη
Riffs of parse! Fantastically nerdy yet at the same time cosmically uncringe (any geeky metalcringe is countered by a) not being American and b) how much garas has sulked both publicly and privately over it not being trve enough), rips big, off we go |
| 69 |  | Loreena McKennitt
The Road Back Home
A live Celtic New Age folk album that apparently everyone including me slept on that somehow ended up here? I guess there is a point to this list series after all! Similar to Alora Crucible, the album itself may not be cringe but it sure af do be New Age. and Celtic. |
| 68 |  | Goat
Goat
Willing to bet good money that this one is 1) drastically endearingly cringe, right down to hippy shades, tie dye and peace signs, and 2) completely owns it. Results tbc |
| 67 |  | Hiatus Kaiyote
Love Heart Cheat Code
every overcooked aspect of this band and their a-little-bit-too-longstanding neo-soul poster children credentials is offset by a cheery breath of creative idgaf on this record, and while its noisy throwaways and breezy refrains don't necessarily make me like it any more musically, they sure do cringeproof it beyond reproach. he'sthelongestcatinTHEWORRRRRRRRRLD and all that lfg |
| 66 |  | State Faults
Children of the Moon
The entire purpose of this list may be to promote ridicule and division (and to establish exactly what the Events of the year are supposed to have been), but once in a while we get confronted with a record so good, so cathartic, so loudscreamyguitaremotions, so fucking Sputnik that all we can do is nod our collective head and say "yeah uh i fucking guess this is the reason we're all still here" and yes thank you State Faults not even your pretentious cover formatting (A Collection of Songs Performed By stfu lol ily) and dubious Snow Patrol worship could make this cringe. |
| 65 |  | The Cure
Songs of a Lost World
The Cure are forever one misjudged lyricpost away from slipping from stately to sappy, so you can all count your lucky stars that SandwichBubble's review summary was the one logged on the BNM tab and consider this entry just about above water |
| 64 |  | The Necks
Bleed
it brings me great pleasure to declare the subsection of sput boys' club staffers that cluster around the necks "a little bit cringe"! we know exactly how this album hit BNM, and it's as close as this list comes to the Laughing Stock Bros wavelength of huffing and waving-at-dead-air-ing. album redeems itself a little through the number of peons it filtered. |
| 63 |  | Cave Sermon
Divine Laughter
Neat album/artist name/artwork combination encouraging combination of metal subgenres I probably should have checked this one and so should you (edit: lasted about 1 minute whoops, next time, RIP)! |
| 62 |  | Lupe Fiasco
Samurai
"most wack album concept of the year" is not usually a compliment, but in this case i think we can only cross our arms and respect Lupe Fiasco for going there. literally-nobody-asked or artistic merit. uh? google and decide for yourselves |
| 61 |  | Monkey3
Welcome to the Machine
unfortunate choice of band name, but otherwise we're veering hard neutral on this one |
| 60 |  | Brittany Howard
What Now
that magnificent wardrobe decision was q frankly wasted on that album artwork, but there's enough groove and approximations of VHS tape undergoing realtime manipulation on here to bridge the distance hm |
| 59 |  | Julia Holter
Something in the Room She Moves
whatever your preconceptions of how deja vu/cringe a new not-quite-her-best-but Julia Holter record hitting BNM were, this thing's ratio of pander, pleasure and pleb filter is funky enough to screw with them one way or another. where to put it? wherever *right here* is should be fine |
| 58 |  | Knoll
As Spoken
Where Knoll's name once demanded respect and attention, now it calls for a head-scratching range of mixed opinions and sounds like X -type comments. I still have no idea how much I like this album! It is not particularly cringe. |
| 57 |  | Bill Ryder-Jones
Iechyd Da
Extreme "I love my sweater" energy (fwiw I do love my sweater but) |
| 56 |  | One Step Closer
All You Embrace
Everything about this one screams common or garden Sput koolaid, *but* it apparently got some site rando to drop their first review in almost a decade (to the payoff of 2 whole comments at that!) so we shall look much more kindly upon it than would otherwise have been the case |
| 55 |  | Greyhaven
Stereo Grief
This EP is hugely respectable for being an EP that made it to BNM (more plz!) and also for laying down a skinny gauntlet of metalcore bangers and getting a workable sound of one of the worst producers working today, mildly suspect for the number of garbage Sputcore acts it will doubtless enable |
| 54 |  | Lightning Bug
No Paradise
This one is too thin on substance to even begin to register on the cringe radar |
| 53 |  | Francis of Delirium
Lighthouse
[+1] too lightweight for cringe - never mind one para revs, with this album idk if I can even make it to the end of this sen |
| 52 |  | Mamaleek
Vida Blue
Literally nobody is quite sure what to think about this one, don't you dare tell me you can boil it down to a take as concrete as "cringe". I'm moving it like 25 places up the list regardless: there are enough black metal fans still tuned into this band |
| 51 |  | Blood Incantation
Absolute Elsewhere
Calculating the cringe quotient of a Blood Incantation album in 2024 is a pretty complicated operation. The band's deja vu BNM factor, janky influence-shoehorning songwriting, and newly-acquired coworker status definitely give them a legup, as does the smell of death metal fandom in general, but this record's blockbuster pacing and unapologetic catering to cheap thrills is undeniable: it evens the playing field, opens the doors to all, and produces the perilously rare prospect of a death metal album that literally anyone could throw on and have a decent-ish time to without taking things too seriously. Cool. I still have no idea where to rank it |
| 50 |  | Johnny Blue Skies
Passage Du Desir
Call me Johnny Blue Skies, more like don't call me! |
| 49 |  | Beth Gibbons
Lives Outgrown
the two weeks when no one made a show of listening to any other album sure have paled into the 6 months since anyone last felt like repping this. are flash in a pan hypewaves from veteran artists cringe? don't call me |
| 48 |  | Frail Body
Artificial Bouquet
Scramz has had a good enough year that I won't dismiss this one out of hand as Sput trying too hard to reboot its past self (would be a different story if Infant Island were here), but the slight pity that has hovered over it since State Faults deposed it so soon after it took the throne is worth an affectionate cringe or two. |
| 47 |  | Domestic Terminal
Sanctuary
"chief, i think the emo is coming from inside the house" |
| 46 |  | Ceres
Magic Mountain (1996—2022)
no one could persuade me to check this one (the LENGTH!) so i'll work on the assumption that it's as cringe as every other emo record and dock it a few points for being distantly obscure. probably the exact kind of record that this site exists to promote, but I can't say whether that should impact its standing positively or negatively |
| 45 |  | Skee Mask
ISS010
Not sure if it's cringe or not for an artist to appear here more than once, so let's hike this one up like a zillion places just in case and consider all bases covered |
| 44 |  | Chat Pile
Cool World
Chat Pile are a great band dialling in good songs, half-baking their prod for an unneeded extra veneer of grit, and (mostly) grooving away as though to erase the faintest possibility of one single listener ever forgetting for one single second how much they love Korn. Is this cringe? Not necessarily, but its BNM status came with a ton of insubstantial We Live In A Societyisms stapled to it, so imma vote Kinda |
| 43 |  | Slift
Ilion
cheesy stoner band hogs out on the early-year hype trough and 11 months later we are none the wiser |
| 42 |  | Vennart
Forgiveness and The Grain
I've got a lot of time for Mike Vennart and have apologised for more prog than is my due, but sticking that third nipple on the mermaid's cheek was a step too far I am sorry |
| 41 |  | Midas Fall
Cold Waves Divide Us
When this apparent transcendental post rock albumthing first hit the features tab, my honest thoughts about checking it were that *I dunno bout that one chief*, and looking back now, maybe I was even more short on personal development than I realised this year. We are stuck. |
| 40 |  | Ha Vay
Baby I'm The Wolf
Havey might have dropped his Filosofem with this one, but I personally am still waiting for his jail era |
| 39 |  | Everything Everything
Mountainhead
This band has always made me think of entire warehouses of people in aggressively round hipster specs bopping up and down without really moving their bodies or generating any fun, and this latest album I've ignored from them has done little to change this |
| 38 |  | Jessica Pratt
Here In the Pitch
"god this is so timeless it reminds me so much of a very specific window of the 1960s from before anyone on this site was alive" |
| 37 |  | Sleepytime Gorilla Museum
of the Last Human Being
No musical theatre-friendly prog band can apocalypse hard enough not to land at least in this specific spot, but Sleepytime Gorilla Museum did give it their best shot |
| 36 |  | Geordie Greep
The New Sound
No one hates the Brits more than the Brits, so I am compelled to stick this emphatically British CHAP about 20 places above his due and then add another 5 for how that artwork looks in poor resolution -- but I want you all to know that there is no way in the world that I could possibly be prouder of him! |
| 35 |  | Los Campesinos!
All Hell
I have zero opinion on this band/album, so am gonna assume the worst from how quickly the discourse around it dried up, stick it around the middle of the list, and leave it at that |
| 34 |  | Iron and Wine
Light Verse
Simpable artist for sure, but someone please do the maths and tell me exactly this album with those ratings (staff and otherwise) landed here huh |
| 33 |  | Melvins
Tarantula Heart
moderately earcatching 3-3.5 range Melvins album = nice and uncringe, but what is is doing on this list? WHO PUT IT HERE ummm ha ha ha don't call me, next |
| 32 |  | Joey Valence and Brae
No Hands
Not sure where to start with this one, so I shall simply defer to the wisdom that "Really though, Brockhampton were only John the Baptist of corny suburban boy rap, and only now, in the year 2024, has Christ finally come down to absolve us: His name is Joey Valence and Brae" ha okay cook with me homeslice (x_X) |
| 31 |  | whyohwhy
Bruises
Any cringe I could throw at this one is one-upped by the combo of 1) a review that explicitly advises not too expect too much from it on first listen, and 2) the way I listened once and forget literally everything about it including the fact that I'd even heard it whoops bam backfire I will have my cringe and eat it thank you, this gets ranked moderately high while I overcompensate |
| 30 |  | Alkaline Trio
Blood, Hair, and Eyeballs
defending pop punk defending pop punk defending pop punk don't call me |
| 29 |  | Spectral Voice
Sparagmos
ventilate this one please |
| 28 |  | Black Curse
Burning in Celestial Poison
and this |
| 27 |  | 200 Stab Wounds
Manual Manic Procedures
jfc and this |
| 26 |  | Mitochondrion
Vitriseptome
and this *yawn* |
| 25 |  | Convulsing
Perdurance
and probably this |
| 24 |  | Poppy
Negative Spaces
hype for this almost had me believing that Poppy had made a good end-to-end album lol gj will subtract a few points for the hustle |
| 23 |  | Hexalyne
Scillocsenports
clicked on this expecting whatever tf the band name Dedes has his disp name set to, ranked it needlessly fucking high for apparent Autechre worship, ate large croissant and napped for days lfg |
| 22 |  | Dora Jar
No Way To Relax When You Are On Fire
most turtleneck wearer-vibing album of the year no I have not listened to it |
| 21 |  | Charli XCX
Brat
She had us in the first half, went wobbly for kamala, and then lost me entirely when she played a corporate glow-up for Revolut. the fact that this is still one of the best albums of the year is tangential. This making BNM at the time was not at all cringe, but if you're looking at it the same way now, you tried too hard to make Brat Autumn happen. No longer my favourite reference baby |
| 20 |  | Iglooghost
Tidal Memory Exo
Was about to give this righteous belter of a record a pass, and then I remembered it's the closest we've come all year to platforming a Deconstructed Club album. Alas: most of this list has turned the screws on Sputnik for staying too much in its lane, so I'm going to be a good radical centrist and put this one way unnecessarily high for doing the opposite. |
| 19 |  | Chelsea Wolfe
She Reaches Out to She Reaches Out to She
Chelsea Wolfe's first great album in a decade is almost good enough to make me forget how gawky and indiscriminate this site's thirsty male fanbase is ew |
| 18 |  | Waxahatchee
Tigers Blood
Too kitchen sink country to be memorable, too pedestrian to be cringe. Yawn. Guaranteed to appear in the top 10 of every user with a record of fumbling around in definitions of 'good songwriting' to prop up the most tuneless backwater hymnals you ever did hear. BNM inevitability, and for this we cringe |
| 17 |  | Suldusk
Anthesis
Sputnik demanding its folk crushed under the weight of all its favourite metal tropes -type beat |
| 16 |  | Haley Heynderickx
Seed of a Seed
2018 sput wants its gang of vapid indie folk adherents pensively doodling their own initials in fogged windows back |
| 15 |  | Foxing
Foxing
I won't pretend to understand Sput's longstanding quest to make Foxing an It-band in a decreasingly interesting landscape of overwrought hand-wavers for doomers still somehow convinced that the ghost of peak 00s emo/phxc is a worthwhile hobby; this record showed this mission up at its most and least embarrassing, and I for one was entertained. Don't ask me why it's so high up the list, or I will Hell 99 lyricspost tf out of you |
| 14 |  | Wishy
Triple Seven
"like a dreamier third eye blind with some code orange and hints of duster" thank you jesper, my research will start and end right here |
| 13 |  | Graywave
Dancing in the Dust
"king woman. ethereal wave. chelsea wolfe. gaze. other spuzzwords that'll get you to check this out" +1 jesper, gonna be filling in the entire list's worth of blurbs for me by next year |
| 12 |  | The Story So Far
I Want to Disappear
No you will not pay me to listen to this band (prove me wrong I dare you), I know exactly what a 4+ (!!) Jesper review trying to say that a pop punk album is good means. This entire section of the list is Jesper's. No other staffer including gets one because we are all insecure penpushers. This is a cringelist for ALL. |
| 11 |  | Childish Gambino
Bando Stone and the New World
i think every staff rating for this is lower than the one before it, which can only mean that someone done goofed for it to be here. HMM |
| 10 |  | Jurre Timmer
Fragmented
I see a neofolk tag with MNORPG artwork, I send it right up this list |
| 9 |  | Jack White
No Name
I swear to God, every time I see some hack announcing ROCK IS NOT DEAD and furiously handwaving at a Jack White/Josh Homme -tier '00s washup for proof makes me want to kick a humongous fucking, uh, ROCK in the direction of your mum. So there. Yeah! |
| 8 |  | beabadoobee
This Is How Tomorrow Moves
matty healy-simped 90s-nostalgic Industry Plant Or Not? contestant does things radio moguls and owners of busy cafes the world over can clap their hands in delight to |
| 7 |  | Saidan
Visual Kill: The Blossoming of Psychotic Depravity
i can get down to this *fun* band/album, but you won't catch me kidding myself that their entire concept and premise is anything less than putrid cringe. Americans using J-horror as an excuse to slurp over schoolgirl uniforms yeesh no thanks. we won't talk about the murder lyrics beyond that they were a hell of a lot less cringe when Sigh did them in Japanese with zero schoolgirl cameos two years back. guilty pleasures etcetc |
| 6 |  | Aaron West and The Roaring Twenties
In Lieu of Flowers
Frontman of 2022's Official #2 most cringe BNM act drops more emo theatre, and at this point we can only admire sputnik's tenacity |
| 5 |  | Big If
The Demo Years
archival comps from yellowcard sideprojects uh yes this is a music site alright |
| 4 |  | Touche Amore
Spiral in a Straight Line
don't you dare make me read another apologetic "not their best" -style endorsement for this album that wants me to believe that, somehow, a new Touche Amore album is a mandatory fixture in the [current year] landscape. learn what the first and maybe second letters of BNM stand for and delete your fucking tumblr account |
| 3 |  | Material Girl
Chain User
this EP is ++points for quality, -points for being a HxH tribute and --points for usual emo reasons, but its being reviewed (and therefore making BNM) was elicited by sputnik's dearly unmissed bigbuddhahubba and is therefore drastically cringe. top 10 of the year cringe? sure. probably. about as probable as buddha himself not being quite done dying of venereal disease and 00s /mu/ flatulence. see you at the wake. |
| 2 |  | Alcest
Les Chants de L'Aurore
Alcest and cringe go together like (almost) no one else on this list, and this thing's various lurches into nature documentary sunset fodder do absolutely nothing to redeem this. Corny shite that should have died with 00s post rock. |
| 1 |  | Vampire Weekend
Only God Was Above Us
There could be no other. Most offensively vapid hypealbum of the year by a brutal margin -- find me another record this deaf to its own privilege (Gen-X Cops), this mired in trite society observations (Classical) and dime-store doomerisms (Hope), this grating in its tasteless shoehorning of classical influences, this inelegantly mixed, this contingent on nauseatingly NYC indie "WOO"s and a pushover fanbase whose highest praise amounts to about the same, and I will most likely find myself confronted with a previous cringe-of-the-year winner. Godawful stooge act + the only record here that comes close to getting my hackles up |
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