JohnnyoftheWell
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Last Active 10-13-19 8:33 pm
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10.03.19 Best album closer PAIRS09.22.19 Absolute s c a n d a l (Johnny's digs)
07.27.19 P I E colour C H A R T07.17.19 Today is a Special Day...
07.08.19 Ranking: Bands with Good Titles07.01.19 Sputnik Official Alignments
06.28.19 HELP! Save Johnny's decade06.22.19 I CAN COOK RICE!!!!
06.20.19 Music = Pokemon 06.15.19 Sputnik J-music Discord
05.31.19 Song of the Day: JUNE 2019 05.24.19 Brexit Memes Only
05.23.19 Johnny's new album05.17.19 Musical Modes Ranked
05.07.19 Loud af 3pieces05.02.19 Artist of the Decade: Oomori Seiko
04.20.19 Review a Random Album Game '19 04.18.19 ur name? SONGnames
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Ranking: Bands with Good Titles
30Tool
Lateralus


Included primarily so I could put them at the bottom, Tool had a flair for names circa Aenima but entered a world of single-word thesaurus pomposity immediately after.

- Pushit
- Stinkfist
- Ænema
29Venetian Snares
Huge Chrome Cylinder Box Unfolding


Inconsistent but occasionally brilliant on the title front, Aaron Funk has given us his fair share of disorienting images.

- Plunging Hornets
- Pwintendo
- Huge Chrome Peach
- Sporto Fucking Sellout Cocksuckerface
28Aphex Twin
Drukqs


...

- Omgyjya Switch7
- Logon Rock Witch
- Hedphelym
- Circlont14 [152.97] [Shrymoming Mix]
27St. Vincent
Strange Mercy


While she somewhat dropped the ball on this front after Strange Mercy, Annie Clark knows how to pen a hauntingly memorable title.

- Hysterical Strength

- Champagne Year
- Laughing With A Mouth Of Blood
- Severed Crossed Fingers
26Coheed and Cambria
In Keeping Secrets of Silent Earth: 3


Shamelessly extravagant, Coheed titled their songs as boldly as their narrative deserved.

- Cuts Marked In the March of Men
- This Shattered Symphony
- The Willing Well III: Apollo II: The Telling Truth
- Key Entity Extraction I: Domino The Destitute
25Hum
Downward Is Heavenward


Strange but not too flashy, Hum had quite a unique knack for solid names.

- Why I Like The Robins
- Afternoon With The Axolotls
- Isle of the Cheetah
- I Hate It Too
24At the Drive-In
In/Casino/Out


Striking and memorable but not quite breathtaking; ATD-I never went overboard on this front until their reunion (and there's a good reason The Mars Volta aren't on this list...)

- One Armed Scissor
- Hulahoop Wounds
- Invalid Litter Dept.
- Shaking Hand Incision
23Sleepytime Gorilla Museum
Grand Opening and Closing


Weird, hilarious and somewhat freaky. Of course.

- Sleep Is Wrong
- The Donkey-Headed Adversary Of Humanity Opens The Discussion
- Babydoctor
- The Putrid Refrain
- 1997 (Tonight We're Gonna Party Like It's...)
22mewithoutYou
Catch For Us the Foxes


For those enamoured with mewithoutYou's various quirks, their titles are a great extension of their sound. For anyone else, however, there's only so much joy to be had here (as opposed to certain bands with strange titles further up the list)

- Wolf Am I! (And Shadow)
- Tie Me Up! Untie Me!
- February, 1978
- Tortoises All the Way Down
21After Dinner
Paradise of Replica


Strange feature and for the primary reason that this album's tracklist is strangely but slightly cutely named. It's a good read:

Paradise Of Replica
A Walnut
Kitchen Life I
Motorcycle
Kitchen Life II
Ironclad Mermaid
Dancing Twins
KA-NO-PU-SU-NO-HA-KO
I'll Just Go Birdwatching
20Mr. Bungle
California


Token feature. Mr. Bungle were never the kings of weird titles, but they were strong enough to deserve a mention.

- Everyone I Went To High School With Is Dead
- Goodbye Sober Day
- Dead Goon
- Platypus
19Thursday
War All the Time


Slightly twee but always earnest, (sub)urban and inventive, Thursday's sing-song titles are a comfortable perk of their discography.

- As He Climbed The Dark Mountain
- A Hole In The World
- Magnets Caught In A Metal Heart
- Asleep In The Chapel
18Kayo Dot
Hubardo


Kayo Dot songs are abstract, intriguing, pretentious, or all three at once. Toby Driver generally finds a good balance here, but the occasional stinker keeps them from climbing higher.

- The Awkward Wind Wheel
- Gemini Becoming the Tripod
- A Pitcher of Summer
- The Mortality Of Doves
- Cartogram Out of Phase
17Swans
Soundtracks for the Blind


I'm not huge on Swans and need to explore their discography further, but they had unsettling titles pinned down remarkably well.

- I Was A Prisoner In Your Skull
- Her Mouth Is Filled With Honey
16Modest Mouse
The Moon & Antarctica


Surprisingly consistent throughout their career, Modest Mouse songs feel like just another distinctive manifestation of Isaac Brock.

- Gravity Rides Everything
- Heart Cooks Brain
- Talking Shit About A Pretty Sunset
15Opeth
Deliverance


You know an Opeth song when you see one.

- Death Whispered A Lullaby
- The Lepar Affinity
- The Night and the Silent Water
- Moonlapse Vertigo
- A Fair Judgement
14Pavement
Slanted and Enchanted


An obligatory mention. Pavement are as Pavement does.

- Elevate Me Later
- Unseen Power Of The Picket Fence
- In The Mouth A Desert
- Zurich Is Stained
- You Are A Light
- Flux = Rad
13Mogwai
Hardcore Will Never Die, But You Will


Both kookier and more cohesive than most indie-cliche title bands, Mogwai titles tend to be far more memorable than you'd expect on first glance

- Mogwai Fear Satan
- Oh! How The Dogs Stack Up
- Kids Will Be Skeletons
- Travel Is Dangerous
- George Square Thatcher Death Party
12Metallica
Ride the Lightning


A little solemn but not inappropriately so, Metallica have always taken their names seriously and generally come off the better for it. Their tracks aren't particularly interestingly titled, but damn do they feel definitive.

- To Live Is to Die
- Wherever I May Roam
- For Whom the Bell Tolls
- Creeping Death
11Glassjaw
Worship and Tribute


Idiosyncratic and memorable, Glassjaw have always been excellent in this respect.

- Natural Born Farmer
- Motel Of The White Locust
- My Conscious Weighs a Ton
- Cosmopolitan Blood Loss
10Blonde Redhead
23


A little unpredictable on the song title front, Blonde Redhead maintain a solid standard of consistency with occasional zingers.

- Hated Because of Great Qualities
- My Plants Are Dead
- Futurism vs. Passéism Part 2
- (I Am Taking Out My Eurotrash) I Still Get Rocks Off
9Cocteau Twins
Treasure


True to form, the majority of Cocteau Twins are minimally comprehensible but maximally pretty.

- Ella Megalast Burls Forever
- The Tinderbox (Of A Heart)
- Wolf In The Breast
- Lazy Calm
8Broken Social Scene
Hug of Thunder


Occasionally too jaded or verbose for their own good, Broken Social Scene practically have their own formula for mildly wanky pseudo-wholesome names at this point.

- Hug of Thunder
- Romance To The Grave
- Ibi Dreams Of Pavement (A Better Day)
- Pitter Patter Goes My Heart
- World Sick
7The Dillinger Escape Plan
Miss Machine


The Dillinger boys brought their a-game to their song titles, walking a fine line between elegant and brutal.

- When Good Dogs Do Bad Things
- Sunshine The Werewolf
- Room Full of Eyes
- Milk Lizard
6Radiohead
Amnesiac


Radiohead are generally adroit but unextraordinary when it comes to good song titles, but they get many extra points for how the wide variation of their nomenclature complements variation in their sound.

- Knives Out
- Where I End and You Begin
- Climbing Up the Walls
- Morning Mr Magpie
5Unwound
New Plastic Ideas


Fantastic titles all around, very inventive and funny in a bitterly cynical way.

- Demons Sing Love Songs
- Petals Like Bricks
- Look A Ghost
- Summer Freeze
- Accidents On Purpose
- Fiction Friction
- Murder Movies
4The Flaming Lips
Zaireeka


An inevitable feature. The Flaming Lips are the masters of gimmicky word salad when it comes to song titles and their knack for irreverence and zaniness is worthy of Donald Barthelme.

- The Train Runs Over the Camel But Is Derailed by the Gnat
- Pilot Can At The Queer Of God
- Oh, My Pregnant Head (Labia In The Sunlight)
- Five Stop Mother Superior Rain
- They Punctured My Yolk
3Sonic Youth
Sister


Edgy, distinctive, not too silly but mostly creative, Sonic Youth had a fantastic knack for memorable and pertinent names.

- Society Is A Hole
- (I've Got A) Catholic Block
- Expressway to Yr. Skull
- Sympathy for the Strawberry
- Heather Angel
2Melt-Banana
Speak Squeak Creak


When it comes to batshit titles, MxBx are as mindbending as it comes.

- Chicken Headed Raccoon Dog
- Flash Cube, Or Eyeball
- In X Out = Bug
- Schemes of the Tails
- Key Is A Fact That A Cat Brings
- Chipped Zoo on the Wall, Wastes in the Sky................
1My Bloody Valentine
Loveless


Credit where it's due, My Bloody Valentine's name game has always been perfect and precise. Abstract, intriguing, sensory and bizarrely comforting titles galore, their titles are great reads as standalones and cogent extensions of their aesthetic.

- She Found Now
- Only Shallow
- If I Am
- Feed Me With Your Kiss
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