ZilbelPing: Drunk Stories

ZilbelPing 03.10.14	Hello, sputnik. It's been a while
JokineAugustus 03.10.14	Ive never been THAT drunk. I have a low tolerance to liquor though
Trebor. 03.10.14	couple weeks ago I got hammered at a party, apparently I wanted to take my pants off the whole time This one guy was eating cake out of a bowl and apparently I pointed at him and proclaimed very loudly "What the fuck, this guy can eat cake out of a bowl but I can't take my pants off?" Then I got hit with a massive wave of depression, laid down on the floor and started crying, this one girl had to take care of me Then I made them put Lil B - I Love You on the stereo because I said it was the only way to make me feel better Great night
ZilbelPing 03.10.14	Sounds fun. My tolerance has grown significantly this past year. Many times we've jammed Lil B while drunk. Great times
apert 03.10.14	I have a lot of these stories most are pretty weird actually but the funniest i've seen was when the hockey captain made a fresher parade him naked around the bar only pulling his foreskin. He was paraded for about 15 mins to the disgust of the other people in the bar. very funny
Mort. 03.10.14	got drunk at my house 2 weeks ago and put on made my friend put on the dismemberment plan - (don't remember what song) to which I tried to dance and sing along too in front of all my friends.
BMDrummer 03.10.14	lol Treb
mindleviticus 03.10.14	I ate a bowl of ghost chilli soup at a party entirely of black people and threw up all over their kitchen. I immediately left afterward and drank more liquor and passed out.
Relinquished 03.10.14	there was a huge house party at one of my dog's places with most of our good friends in attendance. no one under 17/over 25 were in, had to keep everything consistent. the music was loud and hot, the women were also loud and hot, I was absorbing the vibe going full on Wolfe. Shamless public sex occured, piss and vomit on floors, the housedog was humping legs, and pool hour started with the skinny dipping. being the drunk cocky motherfucker I was (still am) to take off my shirt and do stunts with the girls, some inebriated bro got jealous and did some stupid shit that led with us in a fist-fight. I obviously won and the dude had to leave with his tail between his armpit. windows were broken, blood was drawn, but then we partied some more.
Mort. 03.10.14	Relinquished, do you live in a coming of age film?
ZilbelPing 03.10.14	wolfe, that's m/
Relinquished 03.10.14	I live in the film starring Wolfe, directed and produced by Wolfe, and it already won ALL of the Oscars: it's called Wolfe
wakeupdead 03.10.14	Once after too much tequila and an empty stomach, I was walking to the bar with my hot roommate. She was moving away and I wanted to see her naked before she left, but I was too drunk to get in the bar and took a cab home. It turned out I hopped into a random guys car and told him my address, he charged me 20 bucks for an 8 dollar "cab ride" and by the time I woke up, I had to not only be at work in like 10 minutes, my roommate had already moved away.
ZilbelPing 03.10.14	That's hella depressing
wakeupdead 03.10.14	On the bright sid it was someone elses tequila lol free drunk
ZilbelPing 03.10.14	What's funny about my story is that was my first time drinking Tequila. I've never done something like that before. I've blacked out numerous times.
KjSwantko 03.10.14	haha Trebor.
gypsyrick 03.10.14	One time before school (high school), I drank a water bottle full of vodka the thirty minutes before I had to catch the bus while watching TheYoungTurks. I blacked out shortly after that, and I was told later that I fell facefirst walking off the bus, which left a scab under my chin. I woke up several hours later in a hospital bed. My mother had stopped crying, and informed me that when she got there, I was looking at myself in a bathroom mirror, blood streaming down my face and laughing, and I didn't acknowledge her when she entered the bathroom. So anyway, I was in AP classes in high school and this was about 17 days before the school year was over. They sent me to A school, which has the somewhat-Orwellian title "Opportunity Awareness Center," where I met and consorted with various druggy-type characters in a very stupefying academic setting. They laughed at the bandaid on my chin, and ironically I was probably one of the few who deserved to be there. Most of them were there for possession of marijuana. OAC was actually a really fun place and I no longer get blackout drunk at 7 in the morning, so I'd say life is excellent.
ZilbelPing 03.11.14	Was that your first time drinking cause if so, that's super lame. Kinda funny that you laughed at your fucked up chin. Sounds like something I'd do while intoxicated.
gypsyrick 03.11.14	Nah, I had gone to school several times drunk before that. I was... really stupid back then. Yeah man, I can't imagine how eerie that was for her.
ZilbelPing 03.11.14	Well if she was crying, I'd imagine very.
YakNips 03.11.14	One time I walked down to 711 drunk with an open buttoned shirt and a bra, and tight girl shorts, a black couple took a picture of me from their car, and I asked the guy at 711 if Nyquil could make you trip, then stole Nyquil from 711 and the guy at 711 called the cops and they pulled over and asked me questions and I somehow got out of it without getting in any trouble, they didnt do a blood alcohol test or anything, or check my pockets
Iamthe Nightstars 03.11.14	I once got blackout drunk and decided to pee on my parents' unfinished basement floor.
mindleviticus 03.11.14	jesus christ gypsyrick
Apollo 03.11.14	Too many stupid drunk stories to tell on Sputnik