alexp9000: Girl Help | Sputnikmusic

alexp9000 01.20.12	List is digs
AngelofDeath 01.20.12	Alright, here's what you do: Talk to her and see if she wants to go to dinner.
Satellite 01.20.12	"I dont know how many of you guys are actually decent with women" BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Satellite 01.20.12	in all seriousness just be confident, you fucking pussy. also there's a strong possibility you will get rejected and feel like absolute shit for a few days, so be prepared for that.
bungy 01.20.12	PUNCH HER IN THE THROAT
Trebor. 01.20.12	ask her if she likes trouser snakes
Tyler. 01.20.12	cause they're scary dude i don't go near them
alexp9000 01.20.12	"Alright, here's what you do: Talk to her and see if she wants to go to dinner." Hahahha im not asking that I mean like any creative ways. Of course I can go and just ask, but that's boring.
Satellite 01.20.12	you don't want yr (potential) first date to be anything out of the ordinary, man.
AngelofDeath 01.20.12	This isn't time to get creative. You're asking her out, not proposing.
Trebor. 01.20.12	just make her a cake or something
alexp9000 01.20.12	Thanks for the suggestions guys. I like the trouser snake one, I may do that.
drewcordova 01.20.12	Learn how to make Oragami lanterns. Then make a bunch, get candles for them, and let them fly. Ask her if she wants to go out for a picnic (or dinner in your car if it's cold). Make the food yourself, even if it's only sandwiches. Tell her to write a wish on an Oragami lantern, help her light it, and hold her hand as you watch the lantern drift off into the night.
someguest 01.20.12	ask to see her wang I'm assuming any woman you'd want to be with doesn't actually have a vagina
alexp9000 01.20.12	"Learn how to make Oragami lanterns. Then make a bunch, get candles for them, and let them fly. Ask her if she wants to go out for a picnic (or dinner in your car if it's cold). Make the food yourself, even if it's only sandwiches. Tell her to write a wish on an Oragami lantern, help her light it, and hold her hand as you watch the lantern drift off into the night." This is pretty awesome. The origami part would be easy because I have a ton of asians at my school LOL
Deviant. 01.20.12	I'll let you in on an age-old secret that has been passed down through the ages: ask her out
WashboardSuds 01.20.12	don't be spontaneous yet, save your creativity for when you're both old and crusty and need to spice up the sexing
alexp9000 01.20.12	Good ideas guys. I like the age old secret. It was quite enlightening.
someguest 01.20.12	"save your creativity for when you're both old and crusty" well depending on how well she washes...
SLAUGHTERDOZER 01.20.12	punch her then blame someone else and hope she loses vital brain function
someguest 01.20.12	fudgey fingers
Trebor. 01.20.12	Remember how the main character of Office Space asks jennifer Aniston out in that movie? Just do it like that
Spec 01.20.12	Be drunk. The rest will happen on its own.
Deviant. 01.20.12	Tell her you asked people on an internet forum for advice and then watch her disgusted reaction
someguest 01.20.12	how is prison spec
Spec 01.20.12	Lol
Satellite 01.20.12	"Tell her you asked people on an internet forum for advice and then watch her disgusted reaction" hahahaha never change dev
someguest 01.20.12	"my penis gets big headed when I'm drunk, I can't help it"
Spec 01.20.12	s club commence
DinoX 01.20.12	Some people make such a bigger deal about this than they have to, depending on how you ask her isn't going to drastically change anything unless you make a total ass out of yourself. A date doesn't have to be dinner, expensive or a big deal nor should it be a production. Simply during conversation bring up a topic related to what you want to do and get her interested in it and then just invite her to do the activity with you. While on your date if you kino escalate, actually portray interest and she isn't mentally retarded she should know whats up so just work from there.
FromDaHood 01.20.12	Judging from your concise introduction I can already tell that you are a shallow douche. I suggest cutting some of the rhinestones off your Ed Hardy t-shirts and arranging them to spell "Dinner 2nite?" on her locker and spraying it with some of your seductive cologne.
Spec 01.20.12	"I suggest cutting some of the rhinestones off your Ed Hardy t-shirts and arranging them to spell "Dinner 2nite?" on her locker and spraying it with some of your seductive cologne." Brilliant, I best be trying that.
Deviant. 01.20.12	"Simply during conversation bring up a topic related to what you want to do " I wish to plow you. Simpatico?
patman1001 01.20.12	lol
alexp9000 01.20.12	Ed Hardy in africa is called "Fed Hardly"
BallsToTheWall 01.20.12	Throw a sword contest.
DinoX 01.20.12	Seriously though you don't want to be 'creative' when asking her out because it makes you seem desperate. This is because by doing so you are putting a show so to speak and completely giving her all the power and seeking her validation. You don't ask her out: you TELL her out, she should be honoured to go out with you since you both have a mutual attraction and chemistry right? If not, then maybe you can save yourself some time....
FromDaHood 01.20.12	Or just go for gold and tell her that you're just using this date as a front for having sex with her once prom rolls around
FrankRedHot 01.20.12	Here's what you do: Whip out your dick. If she recoils in fear and disgust, she's a perfect candidate for your next victim.
Ignimbrite 01.20.12	1. Confront her 2. Whip out your cock 3.
someguest 01.20.12	the real question is can a needle break an eggshell?
BallsToTheWall 01.20.12	take your pants off whip your dick out and remember when she says no she really means yes.
Poet 01.20.12	You're pretty much screwed if you need advice from this site
someguest 01.20.12	or statutory either
astrel 01.20.12	"Seriously though you don't want to be 'creative' when asking her out because it makes you seem desperate. This is because by doing so you are putting a show so to speak and completely giving her all the power and seeking her validation. You don't ask her out: you TELL her out, she should be honoured to go out with you since you both have a mutual attraction and chemistry right? If not, then maybe you can save yourself some time.... " Lemme guess, he needs to give her a 'neg' next?
Spec 01.20.12	3. Profit
Poet 01.20.12	well no one knows what staturatory means since it isn't a word.
Deviant. 01.20.12	"just pretend you dont know what the word staturatory means" or no
DinoX 01.20.12	@astrel: Lol why would he neg? That is generally for A1, if he has enough rapport/ attraction built to close then it would do him not much good unless he got rejected and de-escalated.
BallsToTheWall 01.20.12	NO MEANS YES NO MEANS YES NO MEANS YES NO MEANS YES NO MEANS YES NO MEANS YES
MaskAtTheMasquerade 01.20.12	the oragami would work on me if i was a chick holy shit
alexp9000 01.20.12	So much rape advice here, how did you guys learn these methods?
DinoX 01.20.12	the oragami thing is pretty darn tootin' cute I'll give you that.
spillingmercury 01.20.12	Use your cum and blood to write her a letter detailing the extent of your love for her. Make sure to compare your future relationship to lovebirds such as Sid and Nancy, or Courtney Love and Kurt Cobain, and have multiple copies of them that successively decrease in legibility and reek of desperation.
DinoX 01.20.12	^ lol'd
johnnyblaze 01.20.12	lol
MaskAtTheMasquerade 01.20.12	bring a broom from home or buy one if you dont have one and then walk up to her and when she gives you that look that's like "omg wtf" tell her you're there to sweep her off her feet
johnnyblaze 01.20.12	cum and blood MIX, brilliant. i'd go with that alex bro.
MaskAtTheMasquerade 01.20.12	if that doesn't work than the chick is a fckn lezzo
DinoX 01.20.12	so I'd say the general consensus is you rape her or you write the cum/blood letter get to it lad.
DinoX 01.20.12	holy shit that is creepy lol
BallsToTheWall 01.20.12	Cutting Slayer into your forearm will make her drop her panties immediately.
DinoX 01.20.12	I'LL USE MY FRYING PAN AS A DRYING PAN
Activista anti-MTV 01.20.12	dude i am archiving this thread for later too good to read before it has run its course
Vesper 01.20.12	"The origami part would be easy because I have a ton of asians at my school LOL" hey u should also ask the blacks at your school to compose a rap for u to ask her out date is in the baggg
FromDaHood 01.20.12	Call her and read the spoken-word intro of Enfialde... it got my friend a girlfriend.
TheseModernThings 01.20.12	You need to balance out the hotness of the girl to the douchiness of your personality fact.
Skrapyard 01.20.12	Do as Angel commands. Otherwise, you'll look creepy. It's just a fucking date, man.
Hyperion1001 01.20.12	yea
Skrapyard 01.20.12	HYPE IS BACK, YAY
alexp9000 01.20.12	Thanks a lot. Ill just be casual and confident. Then if I want to bang, then I'll do the origami thing
cirq 01.20.12	walk around like you got a big dick and she'll be more willing to find out if you do.
Recspecs 01.20.12	http://www.sputnikmusic.com/list.php?memberid=546424&listid=90284 This should help you out.
Acanthus 01.20.12	Angel already got ya covered, right off the bat too.
alexp9000 01.20.12	Thank you silentpotato, that was fucking excellent
Sanders 01.20.12	Be funny, you'd be surprised how far you get on that alone.
Activista anti-MTV 01.20.12	nah she's right
Activista anti-MTV 01.20.12	retards? why are you talking?
Recspecs 01.20.12	DallyLama get the fuck out. Rape is an outdated method of seduction.
KjSwantko 01.20.12	bro, since it sounds like a girl you want to potentially date- the key is be a nice genuine guy, but at the same time have a back bone and make it known that you're not a push over and are capable of being assertive and making decisions. -Open doors for her going into buildings. Girls today eat that shit up because most guys don't do it anymore, and she automatically differentiates you from other guys. -never pay for everything when you go out, but you should pay more. Ask like- "i'll pay the tab, you grab the tip?", "i'll get the movie tickets, you get for the refreshments?", etc -if things are going well and you guys are having fun, touch her on her lower back if you're standing around or walking or something. It's not intrusive, but personal enough she knows you want to fuck and aren't just friends. the key thing is don't try too hard. Go out to Applebees or something and just try to have a good time with each other and things will progress.
JWT155 01.20.12	Do. Less. Words to live by.
taxidermist 01.20.12	Just don't be a pussy. Confidence is the key. Just don't act like some cocky fuck. Confidence, not arrogance.
TomArnoldsArmpit 01.20.12	never pay for the whole date? horrible.
KjSwantko 01.20.12	no it isn't, you'll be taken advantage of if you pay everything all the time. That was like the first thing I ever learned. Come on, bro.
taxidermist 01.20.12	If you get taken advantage of, then she's not worth keeping.
TomArnoldsArmpit 01.20.12	never been taken advantage of. always get pussy. I guess you should only be worried about that if you're ugly and cheap.
KjSwantko 01.20.12	not saying it doesn't happen, but that is awfully hard to find an attractive girl who will whole-heartedly appreciate it, yet not exploit you and your money over time. You bros gotta learn
KjSwantko 01.20.12	@ silent, Sick. No malibu's though bro
TomArnoldsArmpit 01.20.12	idk, I pay for everything until we're an "item" (5 or more acts of coitus). after that, I just buy sandwich fixins and make that bitch feed me
KjSwantko 01.20.12	yeah they're definitely hard to come by, thankful I've got one right now too
KjSwantko 01.20.12	WHISKEY ALL DAY BRO, ALL DAY
Sevhead 01.20.12	give her a dimebag with your number on it
Aphrodisiac 01.20.12	dude watch more law & order svu it gives you so many ways to get away with murder rape
TomArnoldsArmpit 01.20.12	lol
Recspecs 01.21.12	KjSwantko is right, some girls will take that and walk all over your ass. Show some assertiveness, but be respectable/polite.
alexp9000 01.21.12	Thanks guys, I didn't think this list would get so many comments!
johnnyblaze 01.21.12	we're here for you alex bro. let us know how she goes ;)
Inveigh 02.28.12	"you don't ask her out: you TELL her out" DinoX's guide to date rape, step one
johnnyblaze 02.28.12	lol
Shuyin 02.28.12	'I just wanna do something less predictable than everyone else' be urself
qwe3 02.28.12	"Ed Hardy in africa is called "Fed Hardly"" tell her more jokes like this youll have it in the bag
Relinquished 02.28.12	lol
Spec 02.28.12	'I just wanna do something less predictable than everyone else' be urself oh snap
someguest 02.28.12	get a haircut no chick likes a dirty hippy
Erratic 02.28.12	put it in her butt
Josh D. 02.28.12	You should fuck her.
lucasjcockcroft 02.28.12	http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOJd5U3FsQw do this to her, if she likes it, shes down.
Josh D. 02.28.12	Look, I will give you the same advice I give the others: http://s3.amazonaws.com/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_l80sl1zoiJ1qd37u4o1_1280.jpg?AWSAccessKeyId=AKIAJ6IHWSU3BX3X7X3Q&Expires=1330480393&Signature=kroaP7xeJwIb6YEt75hdKaW2y%2B8%3D
IMZA1793 02.28.12	u gaiz are so subtle. most of this works though
chambered69 02.28.12	dont do anything, act like u dont care
johnnyblaze 02.28.12	lol do the josh d
Spec 02.28.12	saw a tit when i was 8, ruined my life.
someguest 02.28.12	yeah moms forget towels once in awhile
Josh D. 02.28.12	"saw a tit when i was 8, ruined my life." Yes!
IMZA1793 02.28.12	plot twist
sniper 02.28.12	this list is old guys i wonder how it went
Erratic 02.28.12	Either it worked, and that's why he hasn't been back here. Or it didn't, and he killed himself.
Josh D. 02.28.12	Love never dies.
IMZA1793 02.28.12	probably got friendzoned
sniper 02.28.12	i really hope you guys pay for dates. i mean, a serious, long-term relationship is a different story, but at least the first few times, you should be the man and pick up the tab. if you feel like she's taking advantage, just don't call her again.
Spec 02.28.12	Obvs. It's when you're like six dates in and she's having you pay for everything you should start to think.
Josh D. 02.28.12	Bitch better order water.
BallsToTheWall 02.28.12	Josh forgot to specify tap water. If the bitch order's mineral water or sparkling water she's got to go.
Spec 02.28.12	Lol.
Josh D. 02.28.12	Hose water.
Spec 02.28.12	I drink before going on dates now. Social anxiety for the win, seems to work though.
Josh D. 02.28.12	Don't go out with a loaded gun. Crank one out every time.
BallsToTheWall 02.28.12	Make her drink hose water out of a trough.
Spec 02.28.12	Some places don't even have urinals anymore, they have troughs!
Emim 02.28.12	"Look, I will give you the same advice I give the others:" wtf that's just a link to this thread
Spec 02.28.12	I used to be really outgoing, it's been disappearing though.
BallsToTheWall 02.28.12	great..politely force her to drink out of the men's room trough if she's thirsty.
Spec 02.28.12	That's what I was thinking.
Josh D. 02.28.12	"wtf that's just a link to this thread" I wouldn't do that...
Emim 02.28.12	Seriously though, tell her you're gay. In every romantic documentary I've seen, this leads to at LEAST grabbing her breasts.
sniper 02.28.12	i'm not very outgoing but i'm extremely self-confident, which i think the most important personality trait in making a person seem attractive to people in general, not just the opposite sex. not stuck-up or arrogant, because those are behaviors more than personality traits, but self-esteem. so important.
Josh D. 02.28.12	Ok.
acorncheese 02.28.12	Talk to Scott Krasman.
dammets 02.28.12	i heard that on feb 29, theres a holiday that says that girls have to be the one to ask guys out. so wait till then
Josh D. 02.28.12	Your mom lied to you.
Spec 02.28.12	Lol.
Erratic 02.28.12	That's in two days! I'd better prepare
North0House2 02.28.12	Not to sound smug, but I'm pretty good with women... Granted, they tell me I'm attractive, so that could be why. But, all I do is talk to them for awhile, kind of fish around, you know? Then, when I set my sights on a girl, I generally try to get to know her as much as I can. At that point, I can then read her emotions pretty well, so I know if she has feelings for me or not. Then I go for it. Anyway, if you want some girl, just talk to her for awhile. From my experience, a lot of girls these days seem to really enjoy the idea of an intelligent guy that has unique tastes and treats them nicely. Just be yourself. There's no set way on how to get a girl other than to just go for it.
Josh D. 02.28.12	SOMEONE got a little too into this.
North0House2 02.28.12	I haven't even read the thread, and I've done homework for 10 hours straight, so I didn't bother reading crap. I just gave him my advice, that's all.
sniper 02.28.12	@ josh either that or yr just upset because he has a shot at success with women.
Josh D. 02.28.12	Oh totally.
AlexanDerp 02.28.12	"be funny" Go to her house and knock on the door. When she answers, bust out your your joke book and tell all the jokes from the book without making any exceptions. You absolutely must not let her stop you from telling your jokes, or else you will fail.
dammets 02.28.12	and by joke book, he means penis. And by telling jokes, he means spanking
sniper 02.28.12	you're funny man you should have no problem
Deviant. 02.28.12	"Go to her house and knock on the door. When she answers, bust out your your joke book and tell all the jokes from the book without making any exceptions. You absolutely must not let her stop you from telling your jokes, or else you will fail." I'm going to take a stab in the dark here and say you've only ever known your own touch
auberginedreams 02.28.12	i'm going to take a stab in the dark here and say he was joking.
Sirob 02.28.12	i got my own bitch. I gave her some fun dip and told her to get in the van. Shes 17. hope that helped
Josh D. 02.28.12	Award winning thread here, gang.
ITsHxCTOASTER 02.28.12	I'm gonna stand by what everyone else here said and tell you to just ask her out. She's a woman, not some elusive creature you need to lure in with creativity and unpredictability. Just be confident and ask her out.
AlexanDerp 02.28.12	I was joking of course haha. But fo realz, just take her out for dinner then invite her back to your place. Nothing fancy.
Sowing 02.28.12	Fuck her dad to make her jealous
Deviant. 02.28.12	"i'm going to take a stab in the dark here and say he was joking." Road goes both ways
auberginedreams 02.28.12	you're not witty.
IMZA1793 02.28.12	"Fuck her dad to make her jealous" /thread
Emim 02.28.12	"Road goes both ways" Like any girl worth seducing
BallsToTheWall 02.28.12	Get a couple buddies, dress up as pterodactyls and gang bang her. Make sure to flap your wings.
Sowing 02.28.12	1 in 7 girls fantasize about being fucked by dinosaurs
BallsToTheWall 02.28.12	bonersaurus rex
Emim 02.28.12	The other 6 are already in the process
AlexanDerp 02.28.12	Screw that girl. Just go to a porn website and click on the "Fuck 3 girls a day" ads. Much easier that way.
Sowing 02.28.12	It's a common fetish. I feel uncomfortable sometimes when a girl asks me to put on a barney suit but if thats what gets her going then...
BallsToTheWall 02.28.12	Yiffing is on my bucket list as is super hero, lord of the rings, skyrim and star wars roleplay sex.
johnnyblaze 02.28.12	Screw that girl. Just go to a porn website and click on the "Fuck 3 girls a day" ads. Much easier that way. those girls are real?
Wheelah 02.28.12	I'll give you the best advice I got on this site. Jack off into a large plastic Coke bottle for a month or so, until it's filled. Then, wrap a bow around it and write a nice little card with your number in it. Walk up to her, give her the bottle, and just walk away. Guaranteed, she will call back. If she doesn't... Well, she was a lesbian anyway.
dammets 02.28.12	does it have to be coke? Can it be sprite or sunkist?
Wheelah 02.28.12	I find clear bottles work best, then she can accurately judge the quality and consistency of your jizz.
Emim 02.28.12	"It's a common fetish. I feel uncomfortable sometimes when a girl asks me to put on a barney suit but if thats what gets her going then..." Hi, kids!
BallsToTheWall 02.28.12	A Power Rangers orgy would be phenomenal.
Emim 02.28.12	The choreography would be fantastic.
Spec 02.28.12	"Make sure to flap your wings." Don't skip that part, it might seem minor but it's very important.
BallsToTheWall 02.28.12	If you've seen the video you know it's an essential part. Have you spec?
Spec 02.28.12	No. Link me. Actually i'm not sure I want to see it.
J0ckstrapsFTW 02.28.12	Grow a mullet... Bitches love mullets. That alone will get u the date
Recspecs 02.28.12	Bend her over a barrel and show her the fifty states.
J0ckstrapsFTW 02.28.12	^^my roommate says that all the fucking time
Activista anti-MTV 02.28.12	chicks man
Recspecs 02.28.12	Gotta love Horrible Bosses.
ohfoxxxycole 02.28.12	mine too
Quen 02.28.12	Lolololol. This made my morning so much better.
NightProwler 02.28.12	50 no's and a yes, means yes - remember that.
NightProwler 02.28.12	It's all about being just as pursuasive as James Bond.
BrownPark 02.28.12	these threads, THESE threads
Recspecs 02.28.12	So many randy users now.
BigHans 02.28.12	Be a dick to her.
lucasjcockcroft 02.28.12	go gay and become her best friend, and sneak it in during a sleepover
NightProwler 02.28.12	Secretly be a superhero, pretend to be gay, and finally reveal everything to her, and you'll get sexy-time for sure.
PuddlesPuddles 02.28.12	Be yourself, don't pee yourself
Recspecs 02.29.12	YOU GUYS REFERENCED KICK ASS OMG SO FUNNY COOL AND RELEVANT.
DotEight 02.29.12	This fuckin thread is all over the place.
Recspecs 02.29.12	BLLLAAAAAAAAAACCCCCKKKKKK
Recspecs 02.29.12	Let me pull an andcas right quick: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6rmWnwtps6I
Recspecs 02.29.12	BLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCKKKKKKKKK DON'T CARE!! MANDEM ROLLIN ON DE SKATES!!
NightProwler 02.29.12	Fucking cool when refering to Kick-Ass, thank you.