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03.24.11 I'm Going To Be Deaf By 4003.20.11 Dorkiest Musicians Ever?
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Dorkiest Musicians Ever?

have always thought of "nerds" and "dorks" as two distinctly different types of humans. In my mind, "nerds" are people who take an intense interest in a subject that most find to be dull and overly bookish, while "dorks" are people who generally just act really goofy and stupid. Therefore, I have always thought that the word "dork" holds connotations that are much more negative than those of the word "nerd". But, I've started to rethink that assumption. Maybe dorks can be "cool"? To find out, I am going to analyze five bands that I think one could safely classify as at least somewhat "dorky".

am speaking specifically of the incarnation of Death that existed right around
the time of the album "Leprosy". A recent issue of Decibel Magazine features
photos of the band from this era, and the members look astonishingly dorky in
them. In one particularly interesting photo, the awkward and weird body
postures and facial expressions suggest a high dorkiness factor; one member is
even wearing shorts that almost look like speedos! This was surprising to me, as
"Leprosy" is hardly an album that exudes dorkiness. Interestingly, the members
of Death actually started to look somewhat badass around the "Sound of
Perseverence" era.
2Black Flag

I think one can say with relative certainty that Henry Rollins is not, nor ever
has been, a dork. However, there is a fellow quoted in "Our Band Could Be Your
Life" who says that Greg Ginn (the main guitarist) was an extremely awkward
and somewhat grating individual (around the time that "Damaged" came out).
The spastic sonics of Ginn's lead guitar playing certainly could come from one
with the sputtering intensity and verbal tics that many dorks possess.
3Man or Astroman?

It's hard to get a handle on the personalities involved in this vaunted
psychedelic surf rock band, because in every interview I've read with them, they
claim to be aliens from outer space with an insatiable craving for campy
cartoons and cheesy outer space movies. However, the fact that they would
behave that way in interviews in itself hints that they may, in fact, be dorks. I
hope they are, because, well. . .okay, I'm going to come out and admit it: I AM
A DORK! And gosh darn it, I'm proud to be a dork. It's fun to be goofy and
stupid some times. HAW HAW!
4The Flaming Lips

In an old issue of Guitar Player magazine, wild haired front man Wayne Coyne
flat out declared that the band was full of dorks. Now, go look at pictures of
these guys from the late 80's and early 90's and marvel at their crazy clothing
and bizzaro hair styles. This is my second favorite band of all time, and if they
are dorks, I imagine they are of the (perhaps somewhat rare) "awesome" breed
of dorkdom.
5The Butthole Surfers

Beethoven probably was not a dork. The subtle and refined nature of his music
suggests this to be true. But, I'd take the Butthole Surfers over Beethoven any
day of the week. The more I think about it, some of the greatest music ever
created was probably created by dorks. Dorks are willing to go into realms of the
goofy and bizarre that few would dare to explore. And when the dorks are flat
out psychotic, like good ole Gibby Hanyes, well that, my fellow dorks, is when
life is super duper neato!!!
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