BigHans
User

Reviews 118
Approval 96%

Soundoffs 63
Album Ratings 3092
Objectivity 73%

Last Active 11-01-19 7:59 pm
Joined 10-08-09

Review Comments 30,959

 Lists
10.27.22 RIP Spirit ♦12.05.19 Spotify Artist of the Decade
12.03.19 Hans' Decade Jams ♦10.31.19 Hans Halloween Hard Jams Inc ♦
10.09.19 10 Years of Hans ♦08.14.19 Man Buns Need Not Apply - Monster Truck
07.11.19 30k, Up the Irons07.09.19 Metal Hearts (Ballads of Might)
06.24.19 How Am I Not Deaf Yet - 3 Years of Conc06.11.19 Slap My Bass (And Give Me Grooves)
01.24.18 Rec me SWAGGER jams09.13.17 The National "Moments" ♦
08.09.17 Roadhouse Jams05.25.16 Hans' Epic Concert Month
03.05.14 Riffs Of Smash02.26.14 Riffs Of F*cking Fist
02.21.14 The Rad RUSH 5702.17.14 Riff Goddamn City ♦
More »

Artists I Would Fight

And defeat. Some of these I legitimately despise, others it would just be fun. Name yours.
1Drew Speziale
Circle Takes the Square

1. I hate As the Roots Undo. 2. I hate hippies. 3. It would be fun, and ridiculously easy.
2Brandon Flowers
The Killers

Because he once described the riff on "When You Were Young" as "like stepping into a shimmering field, stepping on something that sparkles." Or some shit like that. Also said Sam's Town was better than Achtung Baby. Btw, I like their first album, and When You Were Young actually does slay, but I digress.
3Fred Durst
Limp Bizkit

I don't hate LB as much as most on this site, I actually enjoy a song here or there. It would just be exceptonally fun to scream his own lyrics while pummeling the shit out of him. "YOU'LL GET KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT!" "BREAK YOUR FUCKING FACE TONIGHT!" etc.
4Bono
U2

Just to see if he actually would or if he truely is a pacifist. BTW, I love U2, I would go easy on him.
5Chad Kroeger
Nickelback

Pretty much the same story as with Limp Bizkit. Something in Your Mouth? How about my fist, Chad?
6Violent J
ICP

Because I would like to see if he learned anything when he masqueraded around the WWF back in the earlier part of the decade. And it would be fun to call him "Violent Gay," just like Eminem.
7Omar Rodriguez Lopez/Cedric Bixler
ATDI/The Mars Volta

At the same time. Because it would be fun to stomp two pretentious hipsters. Because the Mars Volta, aside from one album, suck tremendously. Because Cedric will squeal like a little girl as I stomped him, constantly screaming DANCING ON THE CORPSES ASHES.
8Axl Rose
Guns N Roses

Because it would easy to pick the fight. Because AXL once challenged Vince Neil to a duel of fisticuffs at Tower Records in LA. Because AXL likes to fight. Because it would be fun to pull on his cornrows. By the way, Appetite for Destruction is my favorite album.
9Claudio Sanchez
Coheed and Cambria

See my deon for the Mars Volta. Although Claudio would probably pose a bigger challenge. I would yell "IM THE MOST GRACIOUS OF HOSTS" right before pile driving him, leading to a squeal that would make Geddy Lee sound like Chris Barnes from Cannibal Corpse.
10Clay Aiken
Solo

Because I would need an easy break after all of this unadulterated ass kicking.
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