Parallels
Reverse Perpendiculars
User

Reviews 27
Approval 98%

Soundoffs 40
News Articles 5
Band Edits + Tags 84
Album Edits 302

Album Ratings 784
Objectivity 83%

Last Active 09-05-21 3:13 am
Joined 10-04-09

Review Comments 10,142

 Lists
06.03.23 Conversations with an AI Dominatrix ♦03.27.23 The Oasis Feuds ♦
03.11.23 Mere Christianity ♦09.02.21 list of dirty words
06.11.16 bye sputnik05.19.16 Possibilities to be Banned in Percentag ♦
10.11.15 K-Mart Vaporwave Tapes Released10.06.15 Fashionable Tunes imo 2bqh fam
06.03.15 Fuck u bethesda05.27.15 How To Be A Transgendered Hipster Audio
10.03.13 Parallels' 4-year Sputnikversary ♦10.02.13 So Yeah, I'm A Girl...
09.02.13 B-side Yourself ♦08.19.11 Closing The Borders Bookstore
07.15.11 Strangely Arousing ♦12.16.10 Elder Scrolls V Skyrim!
05.07.10 What Does Sputnik Think Of Me?04.21.10 Site Ranks....ranked.
More »

Site Ranks....ranked.

Just in case you wanted a better idea of how things worked around here...
11-100

You are basically a god over the site. Your every move is watched by the younger grasshoppers of Sputnik and you have a certain persuasion among the crowd as a respected member, forever, like a sputnik?s best friends forever club. The reason you are here is because you can actually get stuff done. You write quality and to the point, and you do so along with that pinch of seasonings that keeps the rest of the hierarchy in line.
2101-250

The treasured. You contribute insanely to the site and are a valued member. Your rating system is just for the most part, but some of the more feisty users will be prejudiced against you and will hate your guts because they rated your favorite heavy metal album a 2. The good side is, they probably won?t step out against you in fear that they may become an outcast of the sputnik community. The bad side is they will more than likely plot evil schemes like randomly neg-ing your reviews. Others will try to get on your good side in a pathetic attempt to gain ?famous points? and boost their own site rank up to your level. Guess it just depends on how desperate you are over a music review site.
3251-500

The modest lobbyists. You have been pulled up from the swimming pool of the majority of the site and now sit happily, but your lust for a higher rank may be the death of you. When having deep musical conversations you often contradict yourself and then back your contradiction with idiotic evidence. You have gotten this far because you are now a slightly aged member of the community, (or a sputnik pet). Some of your reviews are extremely talented and this is recognized. Stick around and hopefully you will continue to gain ground up the ladder. Wander off? and? well you arent going up, that?s for sure.
4501-1000

The average sputniker. You are the middle ground, and the lowest site rank number group that sticks around for most of the sites activities. The ?average sputniker? has a wide selection of 5 ratings across the Opeth, Godspeed You!, Brand New, Mastodon and Btbam collections. You will stick to your favorite ?cool? band in a poor attempt to sway the population to love them like you do, and you will defend them any way you can, writing reviews on the albums you think the others should love as much as you do, even if it means attacking the characteristics and authority another sputniker without addressing the core subject matter or the original substance you are arguing about. Others in this level will be really stingy about your own approval rating, and may be very subconscious and feel like that teenage girl that feels her thighs are too big.
51001-2000+

This is where the line gets drawn, First, the ?Kool? kids. For most of you, your musical disagreements are solely based on name-calling and consist of: ?AFI is for cock-sucking fagssss? or ?Metallica is the best metal band ever and all of you who don?t agree are musically retarded?. You rarely use the forums, or you just don?t say anything at all and have like one or two reviews written and never comment on anything. Many of you are probably devoted 4chan and something awful users. A small percentage of you will give up on sputnikmusic and turn into trolls (that is, if you weren?t one to begin with). Those who do turn to the troll-side will begin making secondary accounts with obscene pictures in order to get attention. The other halves of you are actually decent users, but you tend to kiss ass in a hopeful attempt to up your rating with constant lists of ?my favorite users? or ?top 10 albums this year? to try and sound professional or something, I never understood it. Advice for you, stick to your chops and write some really nice reviews. That will make you look professional. Or you can always stay here and chill on the ledge, because underneath you lay the abyss of the non-rated.
6No rating

You lucky bunches of honey charms are the outcasts. Some of you wish to be among the ranks but many of you are happy with your unconformity into sputnikmusic society. The reason many of you arent marked with the number of the sput is that you haven?t written a review yet! Some of you realize you wouldn?t make a very good one, others just think its retarded. Well woopdeedoo for you! There are soundoffs where you can say whatever you would like without fear of people neg-ing you (this is good because you are already at the bottom of the hierarchy, think of it as an advantage for your position of society). Hopefully you don?t cut yourself over the overwhelming atrocity of 1 ratings on that brokencyde album you so loved. Don?t take it personal, you are going to get a lot of shit like that being on the bottom. No, really, we love you guys, don?t cut yourself.
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