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So I Went To A Strip Club For The First Time

Yeah it was just sorta one of those things that happens. Was out drinking with some buddies, one guy says "hey how bout we hit up a titty bar?" And sorta like 30 minutes later we're in a titty bar. It was exactly like I'd expect a strip joint to be like. Moderate looking women dancing with their tops off to shitty dance music while really creepy fat men ogle them. Anyways I wasn't really liking the establishment but hell I was there so I decided to get a lap dance. Twelve of those later and all of my money gone I had come around on the place.
1Drive-by Truckers
Birthday Boy

This is the only song I know off hand that's about stripping. That line about old men remembering pretty girls like storms and droughts is pretty damn good.
2Bobby Bare
Dropkick Me Jesus

The DJ was a total asshole who wouldn't shut the fuck up and kept playin' shitty dance music. He even threatened the crowd by saying he was gonna play "Friends in Low Places". Look I know Garth Brooks is a tool but that's a great fucking song. Anyway I was thinking about Jesus and God a lot while getting a lap dance so I wouldn't of minded hearing this song.
Crazy Bitch

Supposedly this is a popular dance song among strippers you'd think these classy gals would have better taste than to want to listen to this execrable piece of shit. Anyway thankfully they didn't play this it was all dance/nu r&b/hip hop music.
4Connie Francis
Zingara (Gypsy)

Cuz they make you pay for lap dances by the song these are the songs I'd want to here instead of the shit they was playin'
5Ralph Stanley
I'll Fly Away

Since I was thinkin' so much about God I would have liked to have heard one of my favorite singers sing one of my favorite religious songs.
6Iris DeMint
Hotter Than Mojave in My Heart

This is a fun sexy song, y'know.
7Doc Watson
Tom Dooley

The man just fucking died and he didn't even get an obit. Anyway this is a great song but shame on you Sputnik. Charlie Louvin dies, no obit. Earl Scruggs dies, no obit. What the fuck! I'd do it but I'm a lazy terrible person.
8Emmylou Harris
Boulder to Birmigham
9Gladys Knight
Midnight Train to Georgia
10The Gourds
Gin and Juice

This is a great cover.
11Hank Williams
Ramblin' Man
12Johnny Burnette
The Train Kept a Rollin'
13Mr. Airplane Man
Jesus on The Mainline
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