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Rottnest Island; The Happiest Place For University Students, 4 Days A Year.

A customary celebration in Western Australia is to spend the week after uni exams getting wasted on a tiny island half an hour from Fremantle harbour drinking yourself stupid and doing retarded things in the name of fun, these are 50 things I did this week.
50Quoted M. Bison in various situations.

This is delicious!!!! Nothing like a great way to waste time on the first day quoting the Mighty Bison while various girls stare at you thinking "I do not want to have sex with those guys".
49Denying BBQ sauce to the people next door

Nothing like seeing the sheer rage on the face of your local neighbourhood douchebag as he hides his tears behind ray-bans.
48Trying to blow up a tennis ball and instead possibly polluting the entire island with toxic smoke

Seemed like a good idea at the time.
47Punctuating sentence with the word cunt

Seriously so fun.
46Circle of Death except every card is an Ace

15 minutes in and everyone is drunk.
45Being a Punter

the first stage of drunkeness
44being a Maggot Punter

the second stage of drunkeness
43being a Paggot Munter

the third stage of drunkeness

the fourth stage of drunkeness
41The Fucktest Cunt

Alcohol Poisoning.
40Wanting to fight someone solely because he wears a nine-button jacket.

"Hey nine-button you dumbshit, where'd you get the jacket? Fags R Us?"
39Reminding people that they can't rape someone in the diner.
38Calling a Vuvuzela a cum-trumpet

Seriously, who the fuck bringing a vuvuzela to a party?
37Calling the guy playing the Vuvuzela a cock-snorkelling thundercunt

Seriously, who the fuck brings a vuvuzela to a party?
36Talking about pubes

not mine specifically.
35Being told by an old lady to put dicks in your ears

she was like 70
34Fucking up a drinking chant.

lads lads lads lads lads lads COCKS!!!!
33trading packets of instant noodles for sex

Mi Goreng noodles are the greatest currency since Bison Dollars.
32Boat races

awesome drinking game

awesome card/drinking game
30drawing penises on the faces of the unconscious

arguably the most fun thing to see a person wake up to and then realize.
29having a 12 year old local tell you he stabs bitches and rapes the corpses

That is freaky as all hell to hear when you're on your 17th beer.
28Watching seagulls fight over bread crumbs

second best spectator sport in ever
27watching seagulls attack the poor bastard you covered in bread crumbs

best spectator sport ever
26When 2 people leave the house in nothing but poncho's and come back covered in sand.

mmmm hmmmmm
25When police officers catch you in the dunes

24building a staff out of beer cans and telling people they shall not pass

back to the shadows
23Not eating anything but maggoty bread for three stinkin days

Or as they like to be known "Subway"
22referring to asian people as orcs after learning that Mordor was based on China

Tolkien was a racist.
21carrying a bag pipe playing, kilt wearing, ginger man home after he ran 3 kilometres from the police

We called him Ranga Steve
20Starting fights with people who wear green shirts

"Oi cunt" "What, cunt?" "your shirt's green cunt" punch.
19trying to exchange Bison dollars for british pounds at the money exchange

then screaming racist when you're told the currency doesn't exist.
18Trying to buy alcohol with Bison dollars

And having the guy accept it because he too supports the Mighty Bison.
17Pissing in a suitcase

16putting someone inside the suitcase

15Asking the girls dressed as pirates if they'd like to duel

they agreed
14Suggesting that this duel involve your penis against their vaginas

they did not agree
13Reminding the Australian soccer team you could've scored 12 goals against Serbia if you had played.

fucking Pim Verbeek
12the term dumb-dawg

makes everything a little blacker
11the term gay-cunt

makes everything a little wack-er
10"Suck me off at the next station"

is not something you should say when travelling on a bus
9accidentally knocking someone unconscious

in my defence you aren't supposed to run towards someone with a sock full of coins.
8seducing women by describing your preferred methods of rape

totally worked
7asking every redheaded girl if the carpet matched the curtains

funny stuff
6asking every redhead girl if the carpet matched her pubes

the carpet...was green
5quoting adam sandler

so many fun things to say
4singing I'm on a boat, whilst being on a boat

dreams do come true

dreams do come true
2tapeing a person to a flag pole only to have it start pouring rain, thereby requiring you bolt the 2

I owe that guy like 12 beers
1asking someone if they had sand in their vagina

and then she did.
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