Reviews 130
Approval 99%

Soundoffs 31
News Articles 131
Band Edits + Tags 26
Album Edits 40

Album Ratings 782
Objectivity 83%

Last Active 06-03-20 2:53 pm
Joined 12-11-04

Forum Posts 45,440
Review Comments 7,927

01.30.09 11 In 712.22.08 I'm Coming...
11.28.08 10 In Five.08.12.08 Sensitive Hair Whipping
02.29.08 Git'r'done12.24.07 15 For 2007
11.22.07 They're Laughing At You05.27.07 No Diggity!
02.08.07 2 Days: Purchases!12.26.06 Top 10: 2006
12.08.06 As Of Late11.22.06 Coming Up Next
08.04.06 These singers irritate me

They're Laughing At You

People on here assume I don't like anything because I think most of what you all listen to is garbage. Obviously that isn't the case. With that said, here's an overdue list of stuff I promised. Not necessarily my favourites (though they're all high ranking), this is a list of stuff I should be seeing on lists but I'm not. A list of what I've been listening to over the passing weeks while ridiculing all of your uniformly boring tastes.
The Devil and the Whore

This is one of those albums that's carried by reminders. It reminds me that black metal can carry a retro-thrash sound without coming off as humorous. It reminds me that lyrics can be "evil" and still well written. Also, reminds me that my city kicks ass. Canadian black metal with an outrageously awesome 80s feel.

People forget that black metal is not supposed to be pretty or beautiful or whatever the fuck else every shitty melo-black band is touting. Epheles are absolutely fucking ferocious, almost relentlessly, but Burzumic (I invent words) touches on the keys add more to the music than you'd expect. Vicious.
3The Chasm
The Spell of Retribution

One of those albums you know you'll fall in love with just based on the intro. Starting off sounding like "For Whom the Bell Tolls" but minus all the suck Metallica brings to the table, this disc slowly spins into Mexican death metal bliss. Solid 'till the very last minute, these guys mix some slight brutality with a much needed low-end, and they manage to keep all the tracks interesting for their longer than average play-time (other than the intro, which is three minutes, the shortest track is 5 minutes).
4At the Gates
The Red in the Sky is Ours

Sounding more like other Swedish greats (see below) and less like the Backstreet Boys, this is At The Gates doing it right. There's still a healthy dose of melody, but the organic production and crunchy low-end ensure that this isn't the travesty they've now become known for. The violin is a little hit or miss, though
The God That Never Was

We all know Like an Everflowing Stream is a classic. This album is at par with that and yet nobody seems to talk about it. Maybe it's a matter of elitism stating that albums released post-1995 are automatically inadequate, or maybe people really are that stupid. This disc mixes that signature Dismember crunch with an over emphasized sense of melody, one that hasn't been this strong since, you guessed it, Like an Everflowing Stream.
Against Again

An absolutely brutal blend of death metal and grindcore, these Japanese maniacs carry themselves almost exclusively by the tail of Hatada's vocals. The vocals on this are, as hinted, insane. I don't say they're insane because his technique is brilliant or because they're outrageously powerful, I say insane because when you hear him spitting, growling, shrieking and doing everything in between, he sounds like an absolute maniac. The vocals distinctly blend into the aural chaos brought in by the instruments.
Hell Symphony

If you say you're a black metal fan but haven't heard this, well, you're not a black metal fan. A criminally overlooked album from the early 90s, Hell Symphony blends a lyrical theme dedicated entirely to Satan with an unruly passion for aggression and power. Much like other bands of the era, there's also an outstanding thrash tinge amongst the riffery. This bridges the gap between first and second wave black metal, and 16 years later it still sounds ahead of its time.
The Book

This is where Root really changed (though apparently they're back to more BM-influences stuff -- I haven't heard the new disc). My first introduction to the band, this disc walks a tight-rope between Doom and Heavy Metal, an undistinguished label if I've ever seen it. More accurate perhaps, the disc is also considered the band's most notable foray into "dark metal". Big Boss' vocals are some of the deepest and most brooding I've ever heard; Imagine Messiah Marcolin if he was 50 feet tall. The rest of the music is plodding but never boring, and it's all thrown together in an almost excessively epic fashion. Almost.

Brutal death metal with insanely complex lyrical themes. These guys ignore the gore and thus immediately pass their contemporaries. Phlegeton is a major draw, his vocals sounding like a bullfrog squealing, growling and rumbling. Yes, I said rumbling. The music is unrelentingly technical, with a flurry of riffs so frequent that they'll often blow right by you. While the production hinders and mutes a lot of what's going on, the album is still absolutely brutal, a word I tend to refrain from using. That's how you know this is legit.

People here really like Bergtatt. People here like it a little too much, in fact. That's why I'm surprised they haven't heard this. While the vocals aren't as excellently executed as Garm's, I'd say this definitely holds up. In short: folk black metal with a healthy dose of Irish paganism thrown in for good measure. Should be an accent grave on the first e, but apparently we dont support other languages all too well here.
11Lost Horizon
Awakening the World

Thankfully I'm seeing this on more lists now. In short, one of the best Power Metal albums to ever see the light of day. With inhumane vocals, powerfully emphatic leads, layer-building keyboards, tight drumming and arguably the best bassist the genre has to offer, these Swedes aren't afraid to mix cheese and glory with passion. You'll laugh, you'll cry and you'll rock the fuck out. Then, hopefully, you'll realize Blind Guardian fucking sucks and you'll move on.
12Bolt Thrower
Those Once Loyal

Not unlike what I said with Dismember just a few spots up top, this is a true testament to Bolt Thrower's scarily consistent legacy. With their original vocalist rejoining, this is metal brewed to an ultra precise tee. This even makes me want to headbang.
13Manilla Road
Crystal Logic

Released way back in 83, Crystal Logic blends NWOBHM with Progressive Rock and does it all in a fantasy oriented package. While the vocals take some getting used to, you will learn to love them. 24 years layer, Necropolis still owns face --- whatever that means.
Into Eternity

Another criminally overlooked album, Into Eternity was buried by inconvenient timing. Coming out of Sweden in 1993, it was obviously a little hard to stand above Entombed and Dismember, but in hindsight it's a wonder why. Desultory mix emphatic leads with that typical Swedish sound (the original Swedish death sound, though, not that overproduced garbage most of you on Sputnik pretend to like). I won't ramble. This is fucking solid stuff
Evil Invaders

Oh Caaaaaanada! Legendary Guelph, Ontario based thrash metal. On this disc Razor got themselves a live drummer (bye bye drum machines) and solidified their place in the history books, and yet I don't see them mentioned on here by all you "thrashers". Almost too influential, this disc sparked the start of bands like Hypocrisy (ew) and Darkthrone (yes). Speed/Thrash that's solid all the way through, and unlike other mid-80s thrashers, they remained consistent without playing the same riff for 10 straight tracks.
16Teen Cthulhu
Ride the Blade

Some genres shouldn't mix. That seems to be the main reason these guys exist, mixing Power Violence and (somewhat symphonic) Black Metal. A vicious disc that stays on the short side, Ride the Blade is a raw and aggressive output that, had it been any longer, would have been marred by it's less than stellar (and somewhat annoying) keyboard work. Worth hearing if only for it's extremely unique blend of genres that, as noted, probably shouldn't mix.
Show/Add Comments (23)


Bands: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Site Copyright 2005-2020 Sputnikmusic.com
All Album Reviews Displayed With Permission of Authors | Terms of Use | Privacy Policy