|UserReviews 4Approval 96%Soundoffs 59Album Ratings 3298Objectivity 91%Last Active 09-29-21 4:15 pmJoined 09-24-05Forum Posts 23Review Comments 4,907
|tec’s THE SMITHS, Ranked|
Short discog this week because I’m crammed for time between work and the arrival of my new baby daughter. But a small catalog doesn’t necessarily equal an inferior one.
Meat Is Murder
Overall Score | 3.72 | 🌕🌕🌕🌗🌑
🥇 Well I Wonder
🥈 Barbarism Begins at Home
🥉 The Headmaster Ritual
My least favorite Smiths album, but that’s just a comparative assessment—in a total vacuum, this is a great album (missing the cut-off for a 4/5 score by only a few decimal points), and ever bit as important as the rest for shaping the band’s small but forceful oeuvre. If obliged to cite something specific for its placement here, I’d hesitantly point to its relative tameness—exceptionally consistent but maybe lacking the oomph of massive stand-out tracks for which it retains its reputation. The three listed above are fantastic in their own right, as are e.g. “Rusholme Ruffians” and “That Joke Isn’t Funny Anymore,” but I don’t think any of ‘em would crack the Top 10. Conversely, there’s hardly a weak spot to be found. An immensely solid album, front to back.
Overall Score | 3.90 | 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌑
🥇 Reel Around the Fountain
🥈 Still Ill
🥉 What Difference Does It Make?
My biggest and only real issue here is “Miserable Lie” which, for my money, is the absolute worst thing The Smiths have ever done. That extended falsetto coda is not only unappealing but downright torturous; at this point in his career, Morrissey hadn’t the confidence nor bravado to sustain such a high-wire maneuver for any substantial length of time. The whole album is a bit unrefined and coarse around the edges compared to their later work, but it never distracts or becomes problematic except for the aforementioned song. If anything, it feels a little more down-to-earth and intimate, the early stages of greatness beginning to form directly in front of your ears.
Strangeways, Here We Come
Overall Score | 4.00 | 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌑
🥇 Girlfriend in a Coma
🥈 A Rush and a Push and the Land Is Ours
🥉 Paint a Vulgar Picture
The dark horse of The Smiths’ discography, often ranked last among their four or five (depending on your musical purity and semantic interpretation) albums—unfairly so. And no, I’m not biased because this houses my favorite Smiths track (yes, “Girlfriend in a Coma” is peak for me, and according to last.fm is my single most scrobbled song), I think the refinement here is sublime. Unctuous production value, exquisite vocal performances from Morrissey’s, and Marr is as delicate and intricate as he’s ever been, adding layer upon layer of sound in ways that add depth without unnecessary ostentation. Understated, but purposefully so. *Chef’s kiss.*
Hatful of Hollow
Overall Score | 4.34 | 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌗
🥇 Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want
🥈 This Charming Man
🥉 Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now
Debated whether to include this or disqualify it because it’s technically a “compilation,” but I’m making an executive decision: Because of The Smiths’ strange discography makeup, there’s enough previously unreleased (viz. on a full-length EP) material (i.e. singles) to consider this a standalone release, and one that’s truly vital when discussing the band’s major impact and importance during their half-decade of active output. This is simply too fantastic to ignore, and omitting it among the other four albums excludes a slew of tracks that would rank among The Smiths’ greatest. #Make Compilations Great Again.
The Queen Is Dead
Overall Score | 4.95 | 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕
🥇 Cemetry Gates
🥈 I Know It’s Over
🥉 The Boy With the Thorn in His Side
Safe, unexciting pick for first place, I realize, but I’d be only be lying to myself were I to claim otherwise; one of the finest albums ever crafted, in my opinion, ranking somewhere among my Top 20 all time. Wonderfully cohesive, contagiously jangly, occasionally upbeat and occasionally depressing, always melodic, casually poetic, beautifully blunt, simple but enchanting nonetheless. It’s The Smiths’ typical formula boiled down to its most elemental components and fine-tuned to near perfection. Morrissey may be a grade-A dickhead but my god, the man can make the most mundane shit sound devastating. “They were born and then they lived and then they died.” Indeed they did.
|Short discography ranking this week, but nevertheless a fun one because I feel like everyone’s opinions vary drastically aside from maybe 1 most often been cited as 1. Feel free to thread shit and tell me why I’m wrong 😊 |
|AH, so Morrissey is where y’all draw the line, I see 🤔 |
|i used to like the smiths until I met a girl who was big into them and then she turned out to be a manipulative POS|
with all that said meat is murder is better than it's given credit for imo
|Damn.. Meat Is Murder is my fav Smith's joint.. But any album with Marr and Rourke is gonna sound sexy so its all good.|
|swap 1 & 2 and 4 & 5 and that's my ranking.|
and yea cemetery gates is the goat
|nice one tec keepin that ranking bar where it should be bless up man|
i'm pretty unfamiliar w/ smiths albums, but with assistance from this maestro list this could change
|these guys are boring as hell|
|@octagon: You have a great (if somewhat short) journey awaiting you 😃 |
|@hal1ax: You a real one. Cemetry Gates gang 👊🏼|
|strongly resisting the urge not to post wham49's 5s|
2 is my 1 but basically any ranking is acceptable. surprised at "well i wonder" getting the gold, thats probably one of my least favorite smiths songs
|Cemetry Gates gang 🔥|
|I’ve absolutely loved this band for 26yrs. One of the all time greats, they are timeless.|
I like 5 more now than I have at any point previously. Well I Wonder has crept up to be one of me fave tunes.
|Yeah, I used to be lukewarm on “Well I Wonder” also, but like zak it has grown on me heavily over the years, especially the last few.|
|This Joke Isn't Funny Anymore and Death of a Disco Dancer not getting medals is wild imo. good ranking as usual, fuck Morrissey as usual|
|you can post my 5'd I have no idea what is on there, rating albums sucks, I am sure I have some bad stuff on there, but I'm sure at least half is better than any of this, could not get past the first few songs on the 2 albums I tried listening to|
generally anything with a "post" or "indie" in front of it puts me to sleep
|Yeah girlfriend in a coma is unreal. Am I the only one who thinks never had no one ever is their best song?|
|Probably! Great track but ranking it first is a fairly spicy take, I’d wager. I’m actually surprised “There Is a Light That Never Goes Out” is deemed the ubiquitous fan-favorite. Awesome song, but at least three (maybe four) tracks on TQID are better, imo. |
|I’m a sucker for mid-song starts lol|
|Hey man, you like what ya like. |
It’s definitely a solid jam.
|Love me a rank with them sweet descriptions. I'd swap 4 and 5 but other than that for now this'd be my ranking too. Did you consider How Soon Is Now as part of Meat or not? I'm torn about it. |
Death of a Disco Dancer not getting medals is wild imo. 
|Tough call, I just consider it a part of Hatful because at least it is part of “every permutation” of Hatful. Same with “This Charming Man,” which appears on various versions of their self-titles debut. Easier just to consider it canonical to Hatful because then at least everyone is on the same page haha.|
|Tec let’s just get one thing crystal clear.|
The worst thing The Smiths ever did was that Golden Lights nonsense.
Everything else is impeccable.
|I would add “Miserable Lie” to that very short list, but otherwise you’re correct - everything else ranges from ‘great’ to ‘legendary’.|