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05.29.17 New Beat from Scoot12.03.16 The Last of Us Part II
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09.28.13 I Fixed Pound Cake09.21.13 I'm Turning 23
08.31.13 Hubardo08.18.13 I Am Tom Hanks
07.12.13 New Dropped Flyer Ep 06.10.13 Socially Awkward Moments
06.05.13 Some Lesser Known Stuff 05.22.13 Xbox One
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Socially Awkward Moments

brought to you by sputnik's resident awesome possum
1Boards of Canada
Tomorrow's Harvest

pooping next to someone in a public bathroom. this is always a test to see who can
get in and get out both the quickest and the quietest. headphones are almost a
necessity in this situation, otherwise the tension in the air will be too much for
either party to bare. awkwardness rating: 7/10
Maggot Brain

seeing someone you know that may not know you anymore. this happens from time
to time. you'll see someone out and about who you recognize from somewhere (be
it school/former job/bar etc.) and they see you but it will be awkward if you say
something and they don't remember you at all. awkwardness rating: 5/10

coming in late to a class in the middle of a lecture. we've all been here before
(unless you're retarded and don't go to school.) you're a good 10-15 minutes late
for class for whatever reason, although it's usually a shitty one. you forgot that
there's a lecture starting right at the beginning of class. you book it up the stairs
because your class is of course on the highest floor of the building. you try to open
the door as quietly as possible (or if there's a back door sneak in that way) but no
matter how quietly you do it everyone suddenly stops looking at the teacher and
stares directly at you. and you're a sweaty mess and the teacher says some
sarcastic remark at your expense and everyone laughs and you have to kind of
laugh it off too but inside you're like "fucking shit fuck me" awkwardness rating:
4Pig Destroyer

when you see someone you know walking towards you in a hallway. both of you
can see that the other person is there. you're getting closer. you have that eye
contact from far away that is just the weirdest thing ever. you can't tell when
starting a conversation is appropriate because what if they can't hear you yet so
you yell and then look like an idiot. and it's even worse when people start weirdly
smiling when this happens too. awkwardness rating: 5.5/10
5Omnium Gatherum

running into someone you don't care to see at a bar or club (or anywhere.) this is
pretty self-explanatory. you're almost always looking like shit at the time. you make
eye contact and kind of feel obligated to make conversation but sometimes you
just don't. and there's a strange uneasiness in the air that just doesn't dissipate
until both parties have gone their separate ways. worse still is if they're with
someone else and they start whispering/texting that person and you know it's
about you. awkwardness rating: 8/10

when you start discussing bands you don't actually know that much about. this is a
weird one. someone will ask you if you've heard a band and if you haven't, there's
this urge to say "i've heard of them" even if you haven't because what if they're
the best band ever to that person and you've never heard of them then you just
look like a moron. and then they ask you your favorite song and you just stammer
like a dumbshit and say something douchey like "i can't choose because they're all
so good." sometimes you can fake it but most people will know even if they don't
say anything. awkwardness rating: 5/10
7Depeche Mode

when someone pisses on the floor in a bathroom and the next person to go in thinks
it was you. really no way to get around this short of cleaning it up yourself (but
fuck that.) this also applies to the seat which should always be left in immaculate
condition lest the person who discovers the mess point you out as the guilty party.
awkwardness rating: 6/10
8Devin Townsend

clogging a toilet anywhere but in your own home. unless it's a mall or something
and you can quickly make your escape before anyone notices, this is the mother of
all awkward situations. if there's a plunger you are one lucky motherfucker but even
if you manage to unclog it yourself everyone who walks by the door will still be able
to hear your constant struggle. if there's no plunger what the fuck do you even do,
go downstairs and tell your grandparents/gf's parents/insert the last person you'd
want to have to explain this to here and tell them that the shit you took was so big
it didn't even make it down the tunnel? the absolute worst thing that can happen
here is if you stupidly decide to flush it again and a mixture of shit and toilet water
cascades over the rim of the bowl and all over the floor. in that case you may as
well just cut your losses dive out the window and make your escape, never to
return. awkwardness rating: 10/10

when you accidentally spit on someone when you're telling a really intense story.
this one is awkward for a number of reasons. you know exactly when that blob of
spit leaves your lips it's headed straight for the most sensitive area of skin on their
entire face (of course) so that they feel it and a) recoil in horror and slap the area
or b) call you out for spitting in front of a bunch of people making you look/feel like
a dickhead. awkwardness rating: 7/10
10Uneven Structure

when you're watching a movie with other people and an intense rape/sex scene
comes on. i remember when the rape scene from the girl with the dragon tattoo
came on and i was in a crowded theater. possibly the most awkward ten minutes of
my movie-going life. it felt like ten hours. you could just tell that everyone was just
begging for the scene to end but nope it kept going and you just kind of sit there
like fuck this is bad oh my god just end for the love of god. awkwardness rating:
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