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|The 12 Suckiest Songs of the Year|
In the spirit of Christmas, I will say that musicians are entitled to create any crap that they desire to do so. However, doesn't mean I like it all. With the popular 12 Days of Christmas song in mind, I give you the 12 songs that gave me explosive fucking diarrhea. Merry Christmas! These are in no particular, as well.
On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... "Skinny Little Missy" by Nickelback and threw up in my fucking mouth from the sexist, misogynistic lyrics and horridly generic guitar patterns.
Will of the People
On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... "Will of the People" by Muse and I nearly collapsed from the awful 'will of the people' chants to the tune of Marilyn Manson's "The Beautiful People." The senselessness of the song, awful melodies, the terrible vocals, it's all just the worst.
On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... "Jimmy Cooks" by Drake and I sharted so hard into a microphone that I managed to produce a better sounding tune than this god forsaken song. Boring, endlessly dull and lifeless from the production to the lyrics to the vocals, just all terrible.
Mercury - Acts 1 & 2
On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... "Ferris Wheel" by Imagine Dragons and it made me want to jump off a real-life spinning Ferris Wheel from the tippity top. The fall would mask the song playing and the splat onto the pavement would ensure me that I would never have to listen to it again.
|5||Machine Gun Kelly|
On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... "EMO GIRL" BY MACHINE GUN KELLY.
On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... "Shout Your Freedom" by Skillet and yeah, I don't feel like I have to explain this one very hard. It's a skillet song, first off. Secondly, I believe a dyslexic horse would produce better lyrics than this band. Thirdly, it's literally a turd of a song.
On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... "If A God Can Bleed" by Parkway Drive and I think I just had a stroke and an aneurysm at the same time. What is this fucking song? Who thought this was a good idea? Don't albums have to go through a record company or at least a few ears before being released to the public. This should have never seen the light of day.
On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... "I'm That Girl" by Beyonce and I felt gross. Listen, all your Queen B stans out there...this ain't it. This is really not very good whatsoever. Throwing a bunch of sounds and styles together doesn't make it unique. It's such a hodgepodge of terribleness but I know you simps will sip any honey your Queen B produces.
On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... "America Burning" by Shinedown and I immediately started saluting the flag, licking some boots and talking about how wokeness is bad. I don't like camo jackets, I don't like big trucks with maga flags waving off the back of them and I don't like this song. It's really a testament to how bands think they're saying something so original that people are afraid to touch but in reality, just sound out of touch, ignorant and stupid.
|10||Panic! at the Disco|
Viva Las Vengeance
On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... "Local God" by Panic! at the Disco and I thought it couldn't get any worse. The whole album is really bad, let's just get that out of the way. But this song single-handedly made me believe that life isn't worth living. It's a sad excuse for a song but a has-been who has gone off the rails.
|11||Machine Gun Kelly|
On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... "Ay!" by Machine Gun Kelly ft. Lil Wayne and I cried for a few hours, mostly from laughter but partially because of sadness that this song managed to come alive. It's really a testament to how stupid people are that listen to MGK because they just keep eating this shit up.
|12||We Came As Romans|
On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... "Promise You" by We Came as Romans and I was really sad because of how terrible it was to lose Kyle but this is how the band repays him, with literal garbage. Terrible, honestly offensive.
|Yuck and yuck|
|Why does your true love hate you so?|
|Wish I could tell you, my friend. |
|MGK getting two spots made me laugh|
|There be some major stinkies in this list for sure|
12 was very 😬
|havent heard any of em|
|It's better that you haven't|
|Your true love is a real winner I see…|
|3 and 8 are good and the rest were never gonna be good in the first place so why bother|
|I'm surprised I haven't been crucified more for 8 honestly. But the defense of Drake makes me lose faith in humanity|
|"havent heard any of em"|
"It's better that you haven't"
I too, am the former. Did you go into any of this expecting to like?
"I'm surprised I haven't been crucified more for 8 honestly"
Unless I somehow missed it, Beyonce didn't make the annual Staff Top 50. To Sput's credit in a way, the site doesn't immediately panic-gush over every fucking thing she does.
|"But the defense of Drake makes me lose faith in humanity"|
you have 3 rush albums 5d lmao
|you chose literally the only tolerable song from 3|
|-you chose literally the only tolerable song from 3-|
I honestly could barely tolerate any of the songs lol
I was surprised to see Beyonce not the Sput Top 50, it's gotten a lot of praise and glowing reviews from many outlets but I just can't get into it.
-I too, am the former. Did you go into any of this expecting to like?-
I always try to keep an open mind and have definitely been surprised in the past by 'bad albums.'