Dedes
Zach
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Reviews 123
Approval 90%

Soundoffs 191
News Articles 2
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Album Edits 31

Album Ratings 1872
Objectivity 64%

Last Active 03-15-20 11:11 pm
Joined 07-14-15

Forum Posts 3
Review Comments 8,918

 Lists
07.24.22 Beer recs07.13.22 Poke Bowls
07.07.22 Paladins07.02.22 Chili
04.09.22 Rating Johnny's 5's.03.20.22 50k
02.20.22 The Silent Majority01.30.22 Buffalo mac n mead
01.16.22 Pokémon Showdown12.27.21 Dedes 2021 end of year list kinda sorta
12.14.21 Hood eggnog11.14.21 Rapanomicon
10.30.21 Halloween rawks10.15.21 Anime schmanime
09.08.21 Food Cultures06.09.21 The MTG thread
04.11.21 Czech this03.05.21 Preworkout
More »

Rating Johnny's 5's.

It is time to crack the enigmatic shell that I am half convinced is actually a supercomputer designed to espouse phrases that both bewilder and bemuse the mind. With that in mind it is worth noting that I do not know what a Melt Banana is or what physical properties would even allow it to melt. Who is Boris? Who are any of these bands and will they riff? I think not. I will also be relistening to the few jams I've heard for a -fresh- take on them. Ur about to get owned, johnnyofthewell. Can you handle it?
1Anathema
Judgement


Ok this was actually really goddamn wonderful. It's airy and spacious, teetering between bombast and elegance quite seamlessly. The motifs are present immediately with "Deep" with melancholy washing over like a warm blanket. This album is definitely vocally driven as while there are some rather nice predominant guitar leads and acoustic bits and what not, it's those vocals that just friggin swoon me. Tbh already feelin' a 4.5 on this. Rules.
2Bjork
Vespertine


Ah, what a reminder to rejam more Bjork. I still come back to Post from time to time (and from what I've heard, it does still hold the crown as best Bjork), but Vespertine hardly lags behind with its absolutely dreamy/ethereal soundscape. Pagan Poetry especially paints a vivid picture of icy spires, blanketing fields of snow, mountains capped by sheaths of frost. To put things more bluntly-this album sounds like winter. Still a strong 4.
3Boris
Boris At Last -Feedbacker-


I'm certainly going to try coming back to this in due time, but this was a bit puzzling for me. I respect the pieces laid between the walls of unconquerable noise-namely the incredibly graceful Feedbacker 2-but in my limited experiences with Noise it's something I've always struggled with. This fares better than say, my experience with Vomir in that even the Noise segments do have differentiation and character on some degree, remaining sludgy and cacophonous which is -some- discernable feeling but in time this feeling drones on for too long and becomes a bit of a slog. In short, 2 is incredible, 3 is fairly good, and the rest is indifference (thus far!). Feels like a 2.5 but maybe I'll dig it in time.
4Cocteau Twins
Heaven or Las Vegas


Conclusion-this is extremely pleasant! In particular "Pitch the Baby" and "I Wear Your Ring" floored me, the former for bringing what to me sound like remnants of a punchier post-punk beat and the latter for being much more smooth and elegant. Heaven or Las Vegas feels incredibly romantic, dancing somewhere between the highs of love and lust. In a ways, it feels almost -too- dainty and elegant for me to oft find myself in this particular mood, but it undoubtedly masters what it does. Strong 4 in the right moment.
5 Dead Can Dance
Within the Realms of the Dying Sun


May the take be odd but I am still of the opinion that Dawn of the Iconoclast is the most intoxicating track here. It's harrowing and haunting as ever but with a distinctive foreboding swell that the rest of the record doesn't -quite- hit. That is not to knock anything here-on the contrary I adore all of the dark hypnotic oddity that is "Within the Realms of the Dying Sun" (and to a lesser extent, most DCD material). Imo second best DCD with Aion just edging it out.
6Kayo Dot
Choirs of the Eye


Wow, has it been a freakin' minute. I acutely remember jamming this many moons (probably 5 or so years ago) and having my meatheaded mind completely kerbobled. It felt Metal in title only, and so I think for that reason I was looking for something to grasp for that made sense regarding its tags. I like to think I've become a little more open to the sea of sound before me, because ultimately I missed out on a wondrous world of -other stuff- that could be soothing, warm, eccentric, cacophonous, or all of the above (which fits Choirs of the Eye well). I cannot help but admire and enjoy how little it sounds like Choirs is ~trying~ to be something. Rather it sounds like whatever was within Toby's discordant musical toolbox could be applied to make something both airy and dense, elegant and fretful-put lightly, it is a monstrous exercise in contrasting moods. Idk just how often I'll come back to this but I'm glad I could finally appreciate why it is lauded as a post Metal masterpiece. 4/5 I
7Ling Tosite Sigure
Just a Moment


I had already heard this during my semi-short lived Ling binge, but I will never pass an opportunity to come back to this. It's a panorama of emotions that are teetering on a cliffside-love, grief and rage all take turns in their elegant and vicious dance, utilizing elements of post hardcore, mathcore, twinkly acoustic bits and some higher-octave clean singing (of which duties are tossed between equally seraphical female and male leads). There are more pieces to dissect in this overwhelmingly pristine soundscape, but alas I am confined to a lists limitations. Absolutely beautiful, somewhere between 4-4 5 territory.
8Macaroom
Homephone TE


Damn I dig this, whatever -this- is. Some form of ambient j-pop? Is that a term/scene? My unfamiliarity may be apparent by my confusion/faltering terminology but my feelings on this are sincere-it is so damn pleasant and loving. There's a sense of childlike wonder, something that captures sweetness and wholesome vibes like no other. Maybe it's a nostalgia induction that also fuels this love-in a strange way parts of this make me reminisce on the Angel Beats outro, an anime I vividly remember repeatedly bludgeoning my soul into mincemeat nigh 6-7 years back. I'm older now and my feelings have only partly waned, and so these soft sad and beautiful vibes still hit. Strong 4/5 I think.
9Melt-Banana
Cell-Scape


Oh, OK, hmmm. I'm almost assured pieces of this audible meltdown have played in nightmares of mine from when I was a small and troubled little boy, and for this reason it unlocks recesses of my mind I long since (intentionally) forgotten. The biting and dizzying oddity/aggression of the instrumentation is fun and occasionally pretty damn groovy (commendations to the bassist!) BUT this is belied by the frantic child-like shouts and squeals that are the vocals. They are interesting and unique undoubtedly, but enjoyable? I'm still not entirely sure but as for the moment I'm leaning towards a hard no. Maybe this needs more listens but I am not sure if I can endure this sweltering fever dream once more so for now it's a ???/5.
10Mewithoutyou
Pale Horses


I came upon the same dilemna I encountered when I first jammed this many a year ago, and it's that I can't figure out why the ~heck~ this won't click with me. It's somber, it's pleasant/peaceful and in moments, ready to collapse on it's own aggression. This is undoubtedly a dynamic and multifaceted record, and yet I find the sum of it's parts to be only mildly enjoyable aside from a few stray tracks (i.e Red Cow and Rainbow Signs). it's good, but really good? immaculate even? hmmmmmm not yet, it seems. 3/5.
11Oceansize
Frames
12Seiko Oomori
Sennou
13Shiina Ringo
Shouso Strip
14Slint
Spiderland
15Slowdive
Souvlaki
16Sonic Youth
EVOL
17Soutaisei Riron
Hi-Fi Anatomia
18Talking Heads
Remain In Light
19The Dillinger Escape Plan
Option Paralysis
20The Flaming Lips
Clouds Taste Metallic
21The Gathering
Souvenirs
22The Veils
Nux Vomica
23Thrice
The Artist in the Ambulance
24Unwound
Leaves Turn Inside You
25Yeule
Glitch Princess
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