The Alaskan Platypus

Reviews 29
Approval 82%

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Album Ratings 1232
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Last Active 01-04-23 1:10 am
Joined 06-10-15

Review Comments 673

05.23.23 SPUT SURVEY: How Do You Approach a New 05.09.23 Platy's 2020's Recap: Pt. 1
05.05.23 Carly Rae Jepsen Ranked03.30.23 S-Tier Songs Off Crappy Albums
03.21.23 Pierce the Veil Ranked03.09.23 Grouplove Ranked
12.29.22 Platy's 5 Best Releases: 2010's Decade12.29.22 Platy's 10 Worst Releases of 2022
12.23.22 Platy's 25 Best Releases of 202207.20.22 Platy's 10 All-Time Favorite Artists
07.15.22 Platy's 10 Best Mid 2022 Releases03.20.22 Why don't bad/average albums ever trend
12.23.21 Platy's 25 Best Releases of 202112.16.21 Platy's 10 Worst Releases of 2021
11.18.21 Paramore/Hayley Williams Ranked11.15.21 Poppy Ranked
11.13.21 Don Broco Ranked12.21.20 Platy's Top 40 of 2020
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Platy's 10 Worst Releases of 2022

I decided to do it after all! I've made a point to stop listening to music that I already know is gonna suck, so I didn't know if I'd have enough stinkers this year to form a whole list - but sure enough, I had exactly 10 releases rated at a 2 or lower this year! I'm sure I'll upset somebody, but isn't that part of the fun?
10Avril Lavigne
Love Sux

Dear Avril, you're nearing 40, cut this shit out.

How is it that she wrote better, more mature music when she was literally a teenager? This album just reeks of someone desperate to stay relevant in today's changing music scene.
9Hollywood Undead
Hotel Kalifornia

Hollywood Undead is at least good for some guilty pleasures here and there, even if they've never made a truly great album. But this? It's just boring. I can't even say it's terrible, it just didn't leave any impression on me, good or bad.
8Demi Lovato
Holy Fvck

If you think I'm being mean by having this in my list of the 10 worst releases, just be glad it's only #8. When this was released, I honestly anticipated it being in my top 3 of this list, so I guess that's something.

Not even gonna lie, personal bias plays a part in this since I've never been a fan of Lovato, but this is just as cringey (if not more so) than Love Sux.
SZNZ: Spring

Yikes, this is easily the worst of the SZNZ series. It reminds me of all the bad parts of Weezer's discography. Thank goodness the other three were better.
6Papa Roach
Ego Trip

Yikes [2], much like Hollywood Undead, Papa Roach has always been good for at least a few guilty pleasures per album, but this one just sucked. The lowpoint comes in whatever song Jacoboy whispers "sweat, sweat," in over again. I don't even want to go through the effort of finding what song it was.
5Panic! At the Disco
Viva Las Vengeance

I feel like Urie is trying SO HARD to win back old fans of P!ATD, but between his antics as a person, plus all the accusations against him being an overall POS, PLUS the fact that this album is boring as shit and rips off like 80 different (and better) artists' sounds, I don't think he's getting those old fans back. Rest in peace to any hope I had that P!ATD would make another good album some day.
4Ada Rook

What the hell is this?? I'm willing to chalk this one up to "it's not for me," but I have to imagine that my feeling when hearing this for the first time was similar to an 80's midwestern Catholic mother hearing Slayer for the first time.
3Asking Alexandria
Never Gonna Learn

Never Gonna Learn? More like never gonna make another good album! Am I right??

All joking aside, this EP is lazy as hell. It's just two songs that they'd already released a year ago, plus two other shittier songs. This band really aught to just hang it up at this point.

Actually wait! I just realized (long after posting this list) that they've made my "10 Worst" list every year of the decade so far, so keep it going Asking Alexandria! Let's shoot for ten years straight.
2Machine Gun Kelly
Mainstream Sellout

Ugh. I hate everything about this man and his music. As one of my only two 1's this year, it was honestly a toss up between this and #1 for what the worst was of this year. But at least this has some entertainment value, even if it's just me laughing at how bad of a musician Colson Baker is. If this guy really is the face of the new wave of pop-punk, then God help us.
1Kim Petras
Slut Pop

And this is it! What in the ever-loving fuck is this EP?? It's just 15-20 minutes of recycled techno beats with overly vulgar and repetitive sexual lyrics. I'm not trying to seem like some kind of prude - I don't hate on music just for being sexual, but this is just too much. Add to it the fact that it's produced by Dr. Luke (yikes [3]) and there's just no way I could justify having this any lower than #1. I'll die happy if I never hear a song from this EP ever again.
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