America's Favorite Hemophobe! ♦

Reviews 5
Approval 91%

Soundoffs 113
News Articles 4
Band Edits + Tags 558
Album Edits 552

Album Ratings 1897
Objectivity 62%

Last Active 11-22-20 4:16 am
Joined 05-12-15

Forum Posts 2
Review Comments 2,738

11.25.20 2020 Is Not As ____ As You Think 11.20.20 Bloodshy's Epic Jukebox Pt. 2
10.16.20 getting mugged in an alley sux10.13.20 CONTINENTAL RECFEST S4 RESULTS!
10.02.20 Pop Genres That Don't Actually Exist10.01.20 CONTINENTAL RECFEST S4 FINALS!
08.30.20 The Best Alt Names Not To Use (IT'S ILL08.26.20 CONTINENTAL RECFEST S4R1
08.15.20 WHAT IS M/07.24.20 Bloodshy's Epic Jukebox Pt. 1
06.06.20 2020 FINAL END OF YEAR LIST05.27.20 the #9 @ HARDEES blew my MIND
More »

the #9 @ HARDEES blew my MIND

just ate the #9 at hardee's and it was a 4.5/5, bacon could have been crispier.
1Nine Inch Nails
With Teeth (Instrumental)

this burger changed my life. the fries were subpar, the burger was fucking 4.5/5

and i was like whoa. my mind was blown. how did i get here eating a 4.5/5 from hardee's, this number 9 from their drive thru menu?
3TV on the Radio
Nine Types of Light

i went to hardee's because i was in the mood for fries, and i ordered the number 9. the burger was a four point five
4Nine Shrines

the fries were not good. too salty and soggy. my mistake was not ordering curly fries. the 4 point fucking 5 burger has a sweet roll bun like wtf, my balls retracted into my body.
Nine Livez

the burger had a fresh grill taste, like i grilled it myself. if i ordered five burgers, i would have eaten 4.5 of them.
6Charlie Puth
Nine Track Mind

my hardee's number nine combo came with onions on it. i did not eat the onions on it. that would have made it a 4/5 instead of the 4.5/5 it was.
Cloud Nine

i got the large which was a mistake, because the burger didn't get any bigger when i said large. it was still a 4.5/5, which blew my mind, honestly.
8Magnitude Nine
Reality in Focus

my roommate also ordered a number nine, but she didn't say anything about it. i'm assuming it was a four out of five, since i gave her my onions.
9Psyclon Nine
Crwn Thy Frnicatr

it came with a coke
Perfect Ten

I traveled through the wind-swept wasteland, barraged by cold sand in a shapeless night. Only a single flicker of light in the distance beckons me. Despite ache from my limbs and the throb from flesh being pulled to and fro, I press on into the haze of a golden glow. The star ahead welcomes me, it beckons me. "There it is," my breath croaks out. The corpses of my brethren left behind, through heartache and fear, through anger and separation--alas my struggle has gifted me this glowing star.
"Welcome to Hardee's, would you like to try a value meal?"
I point a wavering finger to a glorious depiction of ambrosia. Eight glorious angels before her nodded on, urged me toward this beauty. She is blessed upon me through a hole in the night, and I travel on. Amidst the cold swarms of sand, I taste her for the first time. The night calms and the sands subside. Tears stream from my face. She was a 4.5/5.
Show/Add Comments (47)


Bands: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Site Copyright 2005-2019
All Album Reviews Displayed With Permission of Authors | Terms of Use | Privacy Policy