|UserReviews 8Approval 100%Soundoffs 7Album Ratings 646Objectivity 60%Last Active 09-09-19 8:43 amJoined 03-14-15Forum Posts 0Review Comments 530
|Week 2 & 3 of 1 Month W/O Music|
There Will Be Blood OST
It’s nice to go for a run and not lugging around my phone & headphones. All I need is a watch and a pair of shoes.
I’ve picked up mild forms of entertainment I used to engage in; a little bit of chess (lichess.org), a little bit of calligraphy. On top of reading the novel I’m reading.
Joy as an Act of Resistance
IDLES is running through my head. Only 2 cups of coffee today.
Home, Like NoPlace Is There
Going today without podcasts. So far enjoying today. The weather is fantastic here in ATL. Running this morning was nice, the drive to school was nice. I’ve had “Your Deep Rest” by Hotelier tattoo’d to my skull for a few days now. I’ve completely memorized every lyric by just singing it to myself over and over again throughout the day.
Will break 2+ coffee’s today. Wednesday nights I started going to a private meditation group which I enjoy. I get less sleep though from being out late.
Transgender Dysphoria Blues
Have kept poor attendance with daily notes. This past Saturday, I was at a meditation retreat, this past Sunday, I was at ATL Pride. Sunday I had only 1 cup of coffee, which was awesome. The rest of this time hasn’t been the same. The rest of these weekdays have been abnormal. Presentations, large projects, interviews. It’s been a chaotic week.
I don’t miss music too much. I’ve cut back on my podcasts. For a couple days this past week I got really passionate on leftist theory based on the podcasts I’ve been listening to & reading The Conquest of Bread. Today marks a simmering in my angry disposition. I was with a private meditation group last night, & at my local zen center early this morning. Today is exceptionally quiet.
|5||The Dave Brubeck Quartet|
I miss a few favorite albums. I don’t crave new music. I just hear some favorites play in my head, like a memory of a past relationship.
Yesterday I watched a video for a class, & the backing music was Brubeck. It was the first time this month the music of the background of life was something I love. The rest is Top 40, 80’s-90’s hits, etc.
I forget I’m sober. The not drinking thing is easy. Although it’s finally getting cold in GA & a coffee stout would be nice.
Within the past few days I had my first experience truly missing music. I feel more serious. I feel less levity. I’ve gotten sick of listening to podcasts. There’s a lot of silence about. Overall, I enjoy the quiet. I enjoy this experience of learning about new podcasts. But, there’s something about denying yourself beautiful moments.
|7||Godspeed You! Black Emperor|
Lift Your Skinny Fists Like Antennas to Heaven
I think the first album I’ll listen to in November is Lift Your Skinny Fists. Throughout October I’ve done a deep-dive in reading and studying leftist thought. And at times an almost neurotic anger grips me. A cynicism. And it’s hard to strike a balance between meditative stability and reconciling the gross inhumanity going on around me on a daily basis. How clear it is that there are so many distractions and pity problems we blow out of proportion. We act like they’re the end of our world when really our discontent is so much deeper. I’ve lost a little bit of compassion. I want to strike a balance between political/economic liberation and spiritual liberation. It’s hard to toe the line of witnessing the disgust of humanity and still feeling compassion (At least, it’s hard for me at this moment of time, studying up on leftist theory).
Until the Quiet Comes
I think Lift Your Skinny Fists toes this line. Political, economic problems are real. But there is something beyond them. Political/economic liberation is spiritual liberation. Or at least, this is what I feel when I listen to this album. That liberation in our soul is the crux which will bring out compassionate liberation on this earth. LYSF is a beautiful album, and I miss it.
On my last post Pots mentioned how much I am dramatizing this experience. Which is fair. I find much meaning in the minutia. And for whatever reason I have made this a diary I’m posting on sput. If a grown-ass adult can dramatize the experience of accidentally cracking the screen on their new iphone, I feel no remorse dramatizing my day-to-day introspection. Love you, Pots.
I apologize for the political talk. Politics on Sput almost always makes me cringe, so let’s see what happens.
|Oh man it's hard enough to go without listening to my 5's and 4.5s, no music at all would be insurmountable. Interesting experiment though, I'll be interested to read your final thoughts|
|Demon of the Fall|
|I have a feeling you're going to love November, at least you have something to look forward to.|
I never use headphones when running, partially for awareness-related needs, but also it's very freeing being able to zone out a little, which would be much harder and potentially dangerous with limited hearing. It's nice being able to hear the ambient 'natural' sounds on a quiet day.
I should try chess again. I have this issue of reintroducing something I used to be good at, as I'll never be at the same level and this frustrates me. That's especially relevant to chess as I was seriously good as a kid and being unable to outperform your own child self seems like a depressing thought.
It's good to hear about the drinking not feeling necessary and that you have cut down on the caffeine. Coffee stout is lovely though, thinking about the one I have in the fridge at home now.
Interested to hear if this is something you recommend when all is done, or what your final thoughts are.
|I appreciate the responses, and will certainly share final thoughts.|
I have a feeling November will be great.
Demon you should try chess again! And I struggle with the same thing. I used to be much better than I am now. And chess, more than anything else, "tilts" me so often. I've mostly been doing correspondence chess because I like to take my time with every move. But I think approaching chess with the knowledge that you WILL fail, so much, is helpful. Chess is really humiliating, and this month I haven't been so aware of my ego than when realizing what a dumb move I've made or how I missed an amazing opportunity two moves ago. And even when I lose miserably, I at least to gain knowledge on strategy that my opponent placed on me. I know I'll never be an exceptional chess player, and that realization helps me just approach it as a fun little thing.
My username on lichess.org is the same as this one here if anyone ever wants to correspond with me.
& that coffee stout sounds amazing. November will be awesome bc Sierra Nevada Celebration will be out here in ATL. Can't wait for that piny winter IPA bliss.