Album Ratings 7717
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Terrible albums from great metal bands

I'm not talking about bad albums such as virtual xi, i'm talking about the faeces of metal.
20Judas priest

I actually do appreciate jugulator, Owens is a talented singer and some tracks were pretty good. I really wanted to make fun of this album but after the third time i listened to this i just realized that i can't remember a single track. This album it's so bland that it's not even fun to make fun of it.
19Black Sabbath
Seventh Star

Basically Toni Iommi doing generic 80s rock and claiming it's black sabbath. At least with forbidden there was a (failed) attempt to create something original, this one is just hollow, not even a memorable moment.
The Lord of Steel

What makes Manowar so fun it's how it's impossible to take them seriously. Lines like "may your sword stay wet like a girl in her prime" are so cheesy that's impossible to not have some genuine fun with their iconic album. But what happen when 80s cliched oiled guys takes themselves seriously? Basically this album. From a musical point it's just boring, it's not funny nor epic nor anything but sad.

I honestly can't imagine what the fuck happened to their evil yet elegant sound. This is a sort of black metal precursor of St.Anger.
16Machine head

The only reason this one isn't higher it's because of volatile which is a fun opener and heavy lies the crown which is just fine. The rest of this album is some of the most unintentiomally funny stuff ever. Kaleidoscope's intro just tears me apart, triple beam is an even worse imitation of Limp Bizkit, bastards it's so terrible that it makes it a masterpiece. Not to mention borrowed riffs from Strapping young Lad and slipknot. After supercharger's failure this band stayed consistent for years, i just wonder what happened to Flynn, no surprise that the other members left.
15Devin Townsend

This guy is a genius. Every album he makes with his several bands sounds fresh. He manage to change sound every time succesfully. Then there's Devlab. Maybe the most boring ambient work i heard in recent years after poppy's one. Don't get me wrong, i do like ambient music but this isn't good neither for background.
14Morbid angel
Illud Divinum Insanus

Make fun of this would be like fish in a barrel. It's not just the failed attempt to create something different, nor the burped growls, nor even the terrible production. Jeez it's that fucking lyrics, if we discover that they just trolled us all i wouldn't be surprised.
St. Anger

The holy grail of bad metal albums. For the list i ignored lulu because i don't consider it a metal work, nor even a work....i don't consider it. But there's something special about's almost like they engaged to sound the worst they could. I'll get over the lack of solos, maybe i'll get over the metal can snare but i can't get over the painful lenght.
12Motley crue
Generation Swine

Someone should've warned them that Glam metal expired some years ago.

The beginning of the end. I heard that their newer stuff is pretty decent but i lost interest about the band, just can't get over the souless sound of this album or the even duller direction undertaken with nation, which is even worse but i can't help to consider this the death of the band.
10Celtic Frost
Cold Lake

The same band that influenced extreme metal with an album like "to mega therion" and created such an esoteric masterpiece with "monotheist" released.....a glam lp. I actually love it. Don't get me wrong, this album is unlistenable, i'll rather scratch my butt with nettles than listen to this again, still it's pure genius. 'M sure that this is some kind of masterpiece and we're all to dumb to get it.
Metal Magic

I'm gonna tell my kids this is the album that creates groove metal.

Sure disturbed is not among the best bands ever but i do appreciate their first 4 works. Then the asylum came, aside for 3 or 4 songs it was pretty bland. When i listened to immortalized i thought they couldn't get worse, i was totally wrong. This is one of the most sellout things i Witnessed in years. Just an attempt to reach radio friendly audiences.
The Path of Totality

Ok, i hate dubstep, I can't stand it. Though there are some metal acts that combined dubstep elements pretty fine such as celldweller and blue stahli. TPOT is a mistake. Aside for one single track the entire album is basically a torture, there's no trace of the raw sound that made their 90s works so great, nor even the experimentation of later works, they just wrote terrible songs and called some guys to make them dubstep.
The Unspoken King

The drumming is still insane. This is the only good thing about this album. It hurts to think that cryptopsy made the most brutal death metal album ever in the 90s. I'm not even a close minded guy which dislikes mocked metal genres, i like many nu metal and metalcore bands and even some glam ones. I just can't stand deathcore and this managed to make me hate it even more.
Super Collider

I love dystopia. It's a great thrash rooted comeback with awesome guitar work and some eerie atmosphere. But most of all it came after this. When i listened to this for the first time i was sincerely worried that one of my favorite Thrash bands was about to die. It's not even funny to tease it like other previous picks, it's just wasted time.

It's awesome how a band that basically created a subgenre could creat such a mess. Even the cover art facepalmed to this. Some tracks are needlessly long, others are just useless interludes. The lyrics are useless. And, well basically the whole album is useless.

When even one of the most original and creative Tech death bands tries to sell out turning nu metal. This sounds like it was recorded in a public toilet and contains one of the worst vocal performances i've heard so far. The combination of keyboards to a dull imitation of korn's sound it's just wrong, almost like listening to 2 different albums at the same time and they both sucks.
Dedicated to Chaos

Or basically any album after promised land. O:M is one of my favorite albums ever, and what made it so great is totally absent in any of this lazy attempts of making decent music. There's no great satyrical lyrics, originality, good performances or even a single trace that could let anyone think this is the same band.
1In flames
Siren Charms

Without doubt the worst album made by one of my favorite bands. I don't mind the change of sound after the majestic melodeath era, reroute and soundtrack were awesome works to me, come clarity was even better, a sense of purpose was pretty good too. After Stromblad's demise the band started to fall apart. SOAPF was average at best with a pair of great moments, then this came. I took like a week to listen to this album, it was like discovering that your girlfriend secretly likes Justin Bieber or something. Just avoid that, i even prefer battles to this.
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