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07.02.20 fuck this year rip reckful06.14.20 Sput Pro Tips
04.09.20 The Year in Pop: 2010 RANKED (Part 2: 5 04.08.20 The Year in Pop: 2010 RANKED (Part 1: 1
12.16.19 Sin's underrated of the decade 11.01.19 The Outer Worlds
08.21.19 All Songs Ranked #2- Stardust (1-1)04.26.19 albums i bought this year or something
12.25.18 Merry christmas sput!11.07.18 Time Will Die... ranked
10.17.18 4 years on this account10.03.18 bring back posi vibes (◕◡◕✿)
09.21.18 Radiohead ranked but right this time08.25.18 Disenchantment
08.05.18 RIP Barry Chuckle06.07.18 Great Album Art Pt. 2
05.25.18 Great Album Art Part 103.14.18 RIP Stephen Hawking
More »

The Year in Pop: 2010 RANKED (Part 1: 100-51)

METHOD: The ‘hits’ on this list were generated based on the US Billboard end-of-year charts and the UK OCC end-of-year charts. The Top 50 from each chart were added together, but obviously as there is overlap between the two the rest of the spots are based on a number of metrics, such as songs I remember being on the radio a lot, those that seem to get referenced a fair bit by other publications, and YouTube views. Some songs (e.g. Lady Gaga - Bad Romance) were released or prominent in more than one year, so will be included for any years applicable. The end of year rating is made up of the average rating for all songs on this list. By reading this list you acknowledge that I am not liable for any terrible takes presented.
53Matt Cardle

100. Matt Cardle - When We Collide

What do you get when you take a mediocre Biffy Clyro song, dosh it onto a faceless, soulless X-Factor winner and remove any sense of dynamics in the song? One of the most despicably rotten pieces of garbage the airwaves has ever heard. How did we allow X-Factor to exist for so long?

Automatic for the People

99. Helping Haiti - Everybody Hurts (not in database)

Nope nope nope. No, not another awful charity single (rich celebrity vanity project) covering a timeless hit. Not another chorus of mediocre has-been artists with the occasional megastar inserted in the roster. No this song never existed. I refuse to remember it. Lands just above Matt Cardle if only for the fact I guess some money went to good causes.

51The Black Eyed Peas
The Beginning

98. The Black Eyed Peas - The Time (Dirty Bit)

And here we have everything despicable about The Black Eyed Peas distilled into five minutes of pure torture. The needless reinterpretation of a classic song. The annoying, toneless, repetitive beat. The heavily edited vocals used to little creative effect failing to justify themselves. When songs like these are released it’s almost justifiable to throw everything else of theirs out the window. Somehow their most successful song in many metrics.

50Lady Antebellum
Need You Now

97. Lady Antebellum - Need You Now

I’m still not sure how this was such a big hit. Absent of any personality whatsoever, whether in voice, attitude or lyrics, this is glorified adult contemporary that somehow was able to cash in on that brief country-pop renaissance a young Taylor Swift brought about. Perhaps its lack of attention to detail or memorability helped give it a more universal appeal, because there’s nothing particularly interesting about this song at all. And that piano sounds so soulless. How do you fuck up pop piano that bad? This isn’t bad just because the performances are bad, this is diabolical because of how fucking boring it is.

49Travie McCoy

96. Travie McCoy – Billionaire (feat. Bruno Mars)

I wish this was a listenable song, so fucking bad. I’m sorry I couldn’t make it halfway through this one. Where is the energy here? If you want to be a billionaire why are you so nonchalant and unexcited about the idea? I had honestly forgot this wasn’t a Bruno Mars solo song because no one remembers anything apart from the chorus. I had to google who Travie McCoy was to remember he was the vocalist for Gym Class Heroes – a group with all of two memorable songs, one of which was carried by an Adam fucking Levine feature. Ugh.

Save Me San Francisco

95. Train - Hey, Soul Sister

Train were never a good band. The wave of mediocre commercial ‘alt rock’ that began troubling the charts at the end of the 90’s certainly gave a few bands bafflingly undeserved careers, and on that wave, Train were probably the most mediocre. Inoffensive to a tee, with little to separate them from the rest of the flock other than lead singer Patrick Monahan’s pre-pubescent karaoke vocals, the fact that they somehow still find success today bedazzles the mind. Hey, Soul Sister marked the end of any semblance of ‘rock’ in their sound, opting instead to basically sound like an even dorkier Jason Mraz. Of all the people to rip off, why him? You could at least have stolen some Kelly Clarkson guys.

47Young Money
We Are Young Money

94. Young Money - BedRock (feat. Lloyd)

Songs that aged like milk is a list which entirely features this track. The hook is fine, Nicki and Drake’s verses are OK, and just ok. That’s about as far as any praise for the track can go. The incredibly awful beat filled with a procession of rappers that never did anything remotely memorable and faded away faster than Lil Wayne’s career as the next Steve Vai. The “Michael Jackson-bad” reference. Grocery bag. This is probably the worst posse cut ever. Any enjoyment here is derived from so many layers of post-irony it should consider applying for Sputnik staff.

46Kris Allen
Kris Allen

93. Kris Allen - Live Like We're Dying

I’m not sure I’ve ever heard this song. I’m not sure I’ve ever heard of Kris Allen before. But everything here is so predictable I don’t think I had to. Allen is a former ‘worship leader’ and missionary. He was an American Idol contestant. And most obvious of all, this isn’t actually his song. This is a cover of a song by The Script apparently. It certainly sounds like it – it’s so devoid of character it could only have been an artist of that level. In one ear and out the other, and hopefully never to do so again.

Battle of the Sexes

92. Ludacris – How Low

This low apparently. I want to give this credit and say it’s a dumb club song so it shouldn’t be taken seriously, but it’s not even that. No self-respecting club is gonna play a song whose lyrics include “nick-nack-paddy-whack, oh where my kitty cat give a dog a bone”. This is primary school disco music for ten-year old thots. I kinda wish I hadn’t typed that last sentence. But so much of this is just so… uncool? Chipmunk vocals hook? Check. Lazy candy references? Check. Lame ass sequenced supersaw riser that was uncool the moment it started being used in the 90s? Check. This belongs as the butt of a joke in a Mean Girls spinoff or something.


91. Eminem - Love the Way You Lie (feat. Rihanna)

This is Eminem at his most detestable. On full autopilot, he says nothing interesting or novel even by his standards at this part of his career. The faults of this track lie not only in the questionable lyricism at parts that almost seem to promote the abusive relationships the song is supposedly against, but in the melodramatic yet substance-less backing track that sounded lazy even in 2010. Rihanna does her best to salvage this song, putting in a decent performance all things considered, but that can’t save this drivel.

The Blueprint 3

90. Jay-Z - Young Forever (feat. Mr. Hudson)

Why. Why do people continue to make Forever Young covers that ruin and ruin the song more? This is without a doubt the worst Kanye beat ever, or at least that I can remember. It’s completely lifeless, a cardinal sin with someone as lacklustre vocally as Jay-Z, who at this phase in particular needed good production to prop him up. I feel sleepy…

Timbaland Presents Shock Value II

89. Timbaland - Carry Out (feat. Justin Timberlake)

What the fuck is this mess. The most generic Timbaland beat possible. A completely devoid of personality and bored Justin vocal. There’s nothing to say here let alone hear.

Raymond v. Raymond

88. Usher - OMG (feat.

Usher at his least energetic or interested. This is the song you play in the club when you want to clear out the building so you can start a fire and claim on insurance. Partnered with one of the most egregious uses of Autotune ever to hit the charts it’s hard to see who would have ever signed off on this track. Somehow this was a success though, so I guess that’s why they’re a big music executive and I’m here wasting my life doing this.

40Michael Buble
Crazy Love

87. Michael Bublé - Haven't Met You Yet

And here’s some actual adult contemporary. I won’t pretend I enjoy this. It’s incredibly bog-standard in every department and there’s little flair or ingenuity here. It’s not made for me though. It’s made for single women in their 40s desperately trying to find someone to have a kid with before their ovaries dry up. And lazy adverts. Can’t be too harsh, those people have too much to deal with already. But it’s so dull.

86. Eminem - Not Afraid

“I’m not afraid, to make bad songs.” For however much Eminem’s flows suck today, by god this was his worst era vocally. Lyrically, as well. This has more of a “hip Christian youth leader who loves Jesus AND rap” vibe. The instrumental is so cheesy to the point it circles round to being somewhat enjoyable, which has some appeal to it. Too bad the rest of this doesn’t.

The Adventures of Bobby Ray

85. B.o.B. - Nothin' on You (feat. Bruno Mars)

“Nut-nut-nut-nutting on you babe.” Unfortunate vocal inflections aside, this is about as lifeless as could be expected for a sleeper pop hit around the turn of the decade. I distinctly remember hearing this constantly during 2010 and then not hearing it ever again until this. Perhaps there’s a reason for that. Bruno Mars does his best to subvert the feature-on-a-B.O.B.-track-steals-the-show trope. Supermarket radio stations were made for this shite.

Greatest Hits... So Far!!!

84. Pink - Raise Your Glass

Ugh. That is a disappointed ugh because by all means Pink is everything I like in a pop star – she has personality, style, a knack for choosing good instrumentals, a distinctive voice… but I’ve never been able to enjoy her outside a couple of songs. This, despite all the good things I should be able to say about it, doesn’t break the trend. If I were to get as close as I can to identifying my problem with her is that she’s always tried to be ‘different’ than everyone else in a way that just shuns the ability to form that attachment I so wanna make...
Greatest Hits... So Far!!!

84. Pink - Raise Your Glass (cont.)

...It’s a kinda different as a crux to make up for something that doesn’t need to be made up for, like the “I’m so quirky/random” crowd that try their best to be interesting and end up making it worse for themselves. If I was to do away with Pink and imagine Katy Perry singing this song I imagine I would enjoy it a fair amount, everything here is well-written. But unfortunately, despite my recognition of Pink’s talents, I just can’t get into it.

35Jason Derulo
Jason Derulo

83. Jason Derulo - Whatcha Say

I don’t think the use of the legendary Imogen Heap sample is as sacrilegious as some, but the song’s lacklustre and generic presentation of such a unique moment definitely knocks it down several points. And yes, TV shows had already ruined this moment before, but not being the first isn’t an excuse, it makes it worse. The song built around it is completely boring, and Jason Derulo brings even less to the table than usual. Not a track I was happy to remember.

34Neon Trees

82. Neon Trees – Animal

Just a boring half-Arctic Monkeys, half-OK GO hybrid. Way too uncomfortably close to the shite ‘indie rock’ NME-core us in the UK were dealing with around 2007. Just plods along not really saying or meaning anything and incredibly repetitive. I’m glad this sound died out when it did,

33Trey Songz

81. Trey Songz - Say Aah (feat. Fabolous)

I wanted to like this. The instrumental is pretty sweet. His vocals are fine. It’s just the lyrics. Flo Rida has less embarrassing metaphors about spaffing in some girls’ mouth. The whole “say aah” thing like you’re feeding a toddler creeps me the hell out. I feel all gross inside.

32Plan B
The Defamation Of Strickland Banks

80. Plan B - She Said

If a reference to mid-noughties indie band The Zutons didn’t date this on arrival it certainly does now. Here is an example of a song that tries pulling on nostalgia, with the early 70s style strings akin to a Bond soundtrack for the chorus doing little more than giving the whole track a lame campiness more in-line with lazy 70’s BBC sitcoms. Plan B is a good song-writer when he wants to be, but it’s usually restricted for his more aggressive and darker tracks (Ill Manors in particular). This is more akin to The Streets if they were focused grouped for the Michael Bublé crowd.

Thank Me Later

79. Drake - Find Your Love

A Drake song that sounds like it could have been sung by anyone. He may have been pretty inconsistent with the quality of his recent output, but at least everything sounds like a Drake song. There’s no identity here, and no emotion beyond surface level. I’m not sure what to say about this really, it’s just boring.

30Yolanda Be Cool
Afro Nuts EP

78. Yolanda Be Cool vs. DCUP - We No Speak Americano (not in database)

Perhaps the song that introduced Electro Swing to the world at large? I don’t recall any major successes outside of this. Although presented in such a bastardised Dutch house fashion (from Australian producers nonetheless! – truly a global hit), this just barely retains enough charm to justify the radio edit’s thankfully short runtime. Any longer exposure is prone to causing fits of irritability in even the most calm and collected individuals. I’ll give it credit where credit’s due, it’s not as loathsome as say, a Mambo No. 5, but there really isn’t much here. Though I can listen through this fine today, it doesn’t excuse the endless upon endless radio play it got back then.

29Christina Perri

77. Christina Perri - Jar of Hearts

This was so yawn-worthy. I think I liked the song at the time, but I’d just discovered Evanescence and was eating up anything somewhat similar. And Christina sounds like someone wanting to be Amy Lee and lacking any bite or personality. She’s a little raspier than the chart standard, but unfortunately that’s also a negative for her. The instrumental as well is so typical of a failed pop ballad – they all fall at the loss of dynamics. The mediocre piano just plods on and on not taking you anywhere. Ditch this and indulge your inner childhood desire to blast My Immortal in a huff after arguing with your parents.

28Cheryl Cole
3 Words

76. Cheryl Cole – Parachute

Very monotone and one-dimensional. It’s like a Sophie Ellis-Bextor song if you stripped away all the personality and movement. Completely lacklustre lyrically too. To name-drop yet another musician, disappointingly this was co-written by Ingrid Michaelson, who is largely a fantastic artist herself, which makes the mediocrity on display here even more disappointing. Just not sure where this was meant to be going, but a misstep by all involved.


75. JLS - One Shot

God the amount of JLS hoodies I saw in school. The amount of times my sister blasted the same three songs. I should really hate this. But I’ve got to say in retrospect it’s well-done. The main problem for me trying to 180 on this is that none of the members have anything whatsoever about them. There’s a reason why their career died once One Direction came along – whatever you may think about those guys, you could at least name every one of them and know what their type was. I think one of the guys here was called Aston? Like the car, but not as sleek or memorable. Boy bands and girl groups are built around giving personality to that which is inherently manufactured – if you can’t do that then you don’t last long.

26The Script
The Script

74. The Script - Breakeven

F-grade Maroon 5 copycats The Script actually sounded more like C-grade Keane copycats back then. This is probably their best song, and there are some nice elements here. The soulless vocals however distract from the decent guitar work and piano. How is it possible to sound so whiny and yet so bored at the same time? If you’re gonna be insufferably whiny at least fully commit to it like a Jared Leto or Adam Levine. For a brief moment here they posturing as a rock band, I guess that changed pretty quickly. Still, better than Kris Allen though if there’s anything to take away from this.

Sale El Sol

73. Shakira – Waka Waka (This Time for Africa)

I dreaded having to cover this, because it sucks not because of the actual song, but because of the context. For a minor point relatively, this has none of the energy the biggest tournament in the biggest sport in the world implies. But the main controversy here is the disappointing decision not to have an African artist record the official song of the tournament. The first time the African continent has ever had the honour of hosting the World Cup after 80 years and they give the theme song to a Colombian, when South America has hosted so many itself? Might as well have been asking around us Europeans to come up with something...
Sale El Sol

73. Shakira – Waka Waka (This Time for Africa) (cont.)

...What’s ironic is that despite the overwhelming success of this track (I’d be shocked if it wasn’t the biggest sporting theme song ever) it was in many ways overshadowed by an actual African artist recording a song way more befitting of the occasion. I love Shakira, I don’t mind the song itself – in fact I think it’s fairly good, but what went through FIFA’s heads when they decided to short-change an entire continent’s moment in the spotlight for this?

Rated R

72. Rihanna – Hard (feat. Jeezy)

I’m firmly in the camp of believing if you’re, for lack of a better word, ‘hard’ - then you don’t need to state it. The best secret agent is the one no one’s ever heard of and such. So this feels very much like a misstep from Rihanna, who has proven time and time again that she is powerful without having to state it in a blatant manner. The art of subtlety and all that. The instrumental isn’t hard enough to give that impression either. Definitely one of her more forgettable outings.

The Adventures of Bobby Ray

71. B.o.B. - Magic (feat. Rivers Cuomo)

I’m not gonna entertain any butthurt Weezer fanatic comments about how Rivers is a sell-out or anything in that regard, because if you ever believed Weezer were anything but a pop band with more guitar you weren’t paying attention. Yes, their career post-Pinkerton can best be described as patchy, but essentially Rivers is writing the same songs updated for different cultural shifts. And his chorus here is ok. Like a lot of his stuff from the 00’s up until EWBAITE, this is just fine, and not a lot to shout about good OR bad. He is definitely the main draw here as B.o.B, who is barely worth mentioning, exercises his trademark ability to feel absent on his own song.

21Sidney Samson
It's All Funked Up

70. Sidney Samson - Riverside (Let's Go!) (feat. Wizard Sleeve) (not in database)

A classic Dutch house banger with an awful vocal remix. Like seriously I’m not sure I’ve ever heard a vocal mix of a track this bad. Despite this being the version that received the most radio play, the original instrumental has nearly ten times as many plays on YouTube, cementing its inferiority. Like what were they thinking? The only points here are for the instrumental track because on its own this is among the worst of the year. Original is around a 4.1/5 but I have to detract a fair bit for how abominable this version is.

20Katy Perry
Teenage Dream

69. Katy Perry – Firework

I just don’t get why Katy Perry tried so hard to be an inspirational singer. She’s at her best when she’s a bit suggestive, a bit naughty, a bit PG-13. This is like the lame dance song at the end of a kids’ movie. I’m also not sure why we were cursed with “grocery bag and “do you ever feel like a plastic bag” in the same year, but it’s not a coincidence that those were two of the year’s most disposable songs. There’s nothing too grotesque about this other than the fact that she can do and has done so much better.

19Justin Bieber
My World 2.0

68. Justin Bieber - Baby (feat. Ludacris)

I was actually surprised this only just scraped into the year-end top 50 in America, but it makes sense that an army of ten year-old fangirls doesn’t have that much disposable income all things considered. Where to start with this? It’s almost too innocent to be criticised. And like Bublé I think it’s unfair to judge it too harshly because I’m not the target demographic. In fact I find it hard to be too negative anyway. The song is bog-standard but it’s not unlikeable. Bieber’s voice at this point was and still is obviously a source of contention for anyone above the age of 15 who would rather not be listening to some snotty brat kid sing a sucky love song, but I imagine if I was the right gender at the time I would have gotten hooked on this if I wasn’t such a tryhard at 13 years old. Oh wait Ludacris what are you doing? Eh fuck it, I’ll just ignore that part.

The Blueprint 3

67. Jay-Z + Alicia Keys - Empire State of Mind/Empire State of Mind (Part II)

As these are pretty much the same song I’ve combined them. Jay-Z’s delivery is typically lifeless for this stage of his career, but his bars are pretty serviceable. Alicia Keys also suffers from the same problem, sounding pretty bored for what is supposed to be a love letter to their home. I’ve never been to New York, so maybe there’s some references that go over my head. Still, you’d expect to be sold on the city after hearing this even without being native, and that I am not.

17Bruno Mars
Doo-Wops & Hooligans

66. Bruno Mars - Just the Way You Are

Sappy beyond belief and yet somehow this has a tiny little hook on me. It doesn’t veer off into the “everyone considered unattractive is the most beautiful person ever” trope similar songs do (looking at you Christina Aguilera). The piano is generally pleasing and while the vocal performance is fairly monotone it mostly doesn’t segue into annoying territory. Pleasant for sure, but that’s about all it is really. It’s fine hearing it in isolation, but the overplay it got at the time definitely soured me on this for a long time.

16Swedish House Mafia
Until One

65. Swedish House Mafia - Miami 2 Ibiza (feat. Tinie Tempah)

Miami 2 Ibiza is one of those tracks that suffers from awful verses. The climax is really solid, feeling very decadent with the trancey stabs, but I’m not sure Tine Tempah has ever sounded lazier than here. It’s just endless namedropping of brands that he can’t sell the same way others do when they – for lack of a better name – ‘flex’ their wealth. Way more suited for those large summer festivals than the radio and it suffers because of it.

15David Guetta
One Love

64. David Guetta - Memories (feat. Kid Cudi)

Interpolating Fatboy Slim’s 90’s classic Right Here Right Now (or at least the same sample), Memories is unfortunately not that memorable a song despite this. Kid Cudi’s vocal is nonchalant and dreary and everything here feels a bit lazy and middle-of-the-road. It’s perfectly decent, but I don’t see any situation where I wouldn’t rather jam Fatboy Slim.


63. Rihanna - What's My Name? (feat. Drake)

The first of many collaborations between Rihanna and Drake that mostly brought out the best in both artists, as an initial attempt this is understandably clumsy. I’m not sure the fault lies with Drake; Rihanna is just distinctly average here. There’s not much dynamic movement in the track to be fair to her as well, the production here is mediocre. Just all around forgettable, and luckily a partnership that has improved with time.

13Taio Cruz

62. Taio Cruz - Dynamite

This guy was bigger than Jesus for all of five minutes. The Usher/Pitbull lovechild no one asked for, no personality whatsoever, but this is kinda alright. I wouldn’t complain if this came on. I wouldn’t particularly put it on either, but it’s got some energy at least.


61. Adele - Make You Feel My Love

A re-entry and a cover. Not detractors per se, but I feel uneasy giving this too high a rating. By all means it’s a decent, well-executed cover, but Dylan’s original is among the best of his late-career, and covering Dylan is almost always guaranteed to highlight inferiority on comparison. Besides that, Billy Joel’s cover already exists and exceeds this too. That obviously hasn’t stopped a million other artists recording cover versions as well – Adele is by far not the only one to do so. But this isn’t really special enough to make a difference. Competent but unnecessary.


60. Usher - DJ Got Us Fallin' in Love (feat. Pitbull)

Speaking of Usher and Pitbull… Not the first track here to have a Minecraft parody version almost eclipsing it in Youtube views. Not the first track to have a Flintstones ‘BedRock’ reference either (thanks Pitbull, always bringing the fresh bars.) Usher does a better job here than the obnoxiously numb and careless OMG, and the instrumental is serviceable for a really rundown trashy club. Points I guess? Pitbull is unsurprisingly awful.

10Ellie Goulding
Bright Lights

59. Ellie Goulding - Your Song

Ellie Goulding does a very faithful cover of Elton John. So faithful to the point that anything I have to say here is a criticism of Elton John’s original as well. Like there’s virtually no difference between the two aside from who’s singing it. And whilst it’s a pleasant song – perfect for some wedding DJ fluff – I guess there really isn’t much in it to really talk about. Gonna split the score right down the middle.

9Selena Gomez
Kiss and Tell

58. Selena Gomez – Naturally

Fairly uninspired, but a decent song nonetheless. The strong electropop tinge sells this as everything else is pretty average to be honest. Selena’s vocals are mundane, and her backing band don’t bring anything interesting to the table. It just coasts by on energy alone, which is fair enough. She’s done better and worse.

8Owl City
Ocean Eyes

57. Owl City - Fireflies

Yes this is basically just a Postal Service track with zero emotion. Yes this sounds like Ben Gibbard on helium. And yes the lyrics are complete nonsense. But there is something to be said for how different this is to everything else here, and really ever to hit the mainstream. Even his one other hit is much more chart-compliant. I definitely hated the overplay this got, but this has a tiny ounce of charm there that became evident upon me coming back to it.

7Glee Cast
Glee: The Music, Volume 1

56. Glee Cast/Journey - Don't Stop Believin'

This is almost unapproachable from a critical angle. Don’t Stop Believin’ (the original) is a 30 year old re-entry, because of the cover. The cover is from a TV cast where the actual music is secondary, and the acting is more important. It’s not intended to be a smash pop hit (although it certainly helps). It’s like trying to match-up a Disney song against Radiohead or something and comparing their merits. And yet for the sake of this it has to be done. I’ve put both together as neither would be here without the other, although really in fairness I can only talk about the Glee version...

56. Glee Cast/Journey - Don't Stop Believin' (cont.)

...I never watched Glee and certainly didn’t have, and don’t today have, the desire so. But I can see based on this one song and the moment within the show (removed from the rest of the context of the episode I haven’t seen) why you would get hooked. Certainly it’s better than the majority of Glee covers I remember hearing from the later episodes. But I can’t say it really deserves to be here in the first place, so I’m just gonna have to throw a middling score at it. It was fine and the original is fine and nothing more.


55. Orianthi – According to You

I’ll give this credit for it’s heavier than expected guitar lines, but it’s hard to shake this feeling that Orianthi is a discount Avril Lavigne or Paramore. She has no personality to really speak of vocally, which is frustrating because that’s all this song really needs to fully realise it’s potential. She’s an excellent guitarist – you don’t get to play with Michael Jackson and Alice Cooper for nothing – and the songwriting here is above average. But she never sounds committed to her voice enough to push this to a super enjoyable level. Whereas artists like Hayley or Avril have this presence in a song that’s unmistakeable, I legitimately don’t remember ever hearing about this girl after. Chalk this one up to unfulfilled potential.


54. Nelly - Just a Dream

So soooo sappy. I mean not that Nelly hasn’t always sounded kinda dorky, it’s just that it’s never been this blatant. But I guess it works for him, because this song expertly touches on that sense of longing for someone or something. It’s maybe a bit too compilation-CD-for-mums, but at the end of the day there is a universal understanding here that should be appreciated by anyone. But this is getting way too highbrow for a Nelly song.

Timbaland Presents Shock Value II

53. Timbaland - If We Ever Meet Again (feat. Katy Perry)

I’m still not sure why Timbaland ever decided he could be a vocalist, but he’s lucky Katy Perry is on hand to steal the show. Maybe that’s too harsh, because he’s charming in a mediocre sense. But it’s definitely clear to see why the hits for him started to dry up – or at least the ones he stuck his brand on. Compared to his work a couple years prior, the instrumental is really nothing special and despite Katy’s best efforts, she’s really not catered to enough to make the difference. Middling.


52. Shontelle – Impossible (not in database)

This is a sweet ballad, but it’s let down by the mediocre vocal performance. My first thought was “if this was a Beyoncé track it would rule so hard”. Shontelle just doesn’t have much at all about her when the competition is so good. Hell, give this to Alicia Keys and I’d perhaps put this in the top 10. It’s a well-written R&B heartbreak ballad, but unfortunately that’s all this is.


51. Rihanna - Only Girl (In the World)

Another one of those songs where the chorus and the verses just don’t fit. The verses are brilliantly understated and intimate with a lovely little arpeggio carrying the rhythm. The chorus is big shiny synth stabs that blast you in the face. I can tell they’re going for that anthemic festival vibe. But it completely pulls you out of the moment and the suspense. These are pretty much two separate songs haphazardly slung together. One of which is fantastic and the other annoying. So close and yet so far.

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