Jared Floryan

Reviews 16
Approval 97%

Soundoffs 1,706
News Articles 1
Band Edits + Tags 238
Album Edits 953

Album Ratings 2300
Objectivity 93%

Last Active 09-27-18 4:36 pm
Joined 08-24-14

Forum Posts 32
Review Comments 1,357

12.31.16 Czeched II: New Year's Tang10.26.15 Finally Got a Job (Angel's 100 Favorite
10.03.15 Here's What I've Czeched Lately07.12.15 The Inevitable 1-Year Sputversary List
06.17.15 Zodiac Signs in Crimes on the Nephilim'05.03.15 Soundoff Nation Army: Braggart's Road
01.28.15 Diru Ranked: Average Blasphemy/Birthday01.06.15 Thousand Island Boros (+recs)
01.01.15 Mmxv - The Second Angel10.10.14 Bow Down Before The Food You Serve
10.03.14 Recs For A Bastard Angel09.15.14 A Tepid Whiff Of Adventurous Releases
09.04.14 Faith No More Ranked: Here's How to Ord08.31.14 Formidable Illustrations Of A Pristine

The Inevitable 1-Year Sputversary List

What's up, everybody, my name is Angelboros aka CelestialOuroboros aka Soundoff Machine aka Pushover aka Mr. Autism aka.... Jared. Now that I got the painful introduction out of the way (despite a few of you already being aware of my presence), we're already halfway through 2015 and today is July 12th. But wait just a second there. "Why should we care that it's July 12th, you idiot," you might be wondering? To put it in human speak, last year was when I first entered the world of Sputnikmusic; k thanx b--- Go screw yourself, I'm not finished here. {ahem} July of '14 was the month I grew the balls to arrive on Sput. As far as I can tell, it's been a great several months, weeks, and days here. I accomplished a few things in the realm that is this site such as achieving over 1,000 soundoffs, not to jerk myself off or anything. However, for right now, let me skip over all this needless bullcrap, get to the end credits and say that it's my first anniversary. In honor of it, the list you're getting ready to eviscerate contains a decent amount of music releases I've Czeched out so far as well as some other recent digs. Even though there's still much for me to listen to (new Dog Fashion Disco?) that's just recently been available or forthcoming as I'm talking, I'm proud of what crossed my path. Shall we begin?
1Paradise Lost
The Plague Within

The Plague Within is a serious contender for AOTY. Gothic metal band Paradise Lost hardly disappoint at all for the majority of album #14, bringing back a familiar death/doom influence whilst sticking close to what they've done best in recent times. The result is a brooding, attractive record that features Nick Holmes' beastly mixture of growls and passionate singing, guitar riffs capable of staying within your brain for awhile, and a stupendous rhythm section made possible thanks to Steve Edmondson and Adrian Erlandsson in particular.

Here's an offering that, to say the least, is a bit more polarizing. Swedish punk act Refused made a killing with The Shape of Punk to Come - and we know how the tale goes. June 29th marked the release of this quartet's comeback album. Entitled Freedom/dumb, the shapeshifter of a full-length recording has unsurprisingly received mixed responses here. It's not as hardcore nor is it as glorious akin to Refused's previous work, but when all is said and done, Freedom is a really fun, enjoyable monster once judged by its own merits. The experimentation is half-assed sometimes ("Francafrique" and "Thought Is Blood"), but piercing musicianship and Dennis Lyxzen's commanding shouts make up for the issues. Old friends, new war.
Further Out

Cloakroom have churned out a chill, but no less appealing LP here. The shoegaze inspiration is quite tough with this one and that slow, relaxing atmosphere throughout reminds me of neon lights; except a bit murkier, I should add.
4Alien Ant Farm
Always and Forever

As the title of the album implies, this Riverside-based rock band isn't turning tables or setting foot in unknown territory. Even so, on the brightside, Always and Forever is entertaining for what AAF desired to pull off. Unfortunately, if the general public's taken into consideration, it's still telling that these men won't be remembered for any other track that isn't their cover of Michael Jackson's "Smooth Criminal".
5Napalm Death
Apex Predator - Easy Meat

After so many years, Liverpool's own Napalm Death continually insist on delivering fierce, hard-hitting grind tunes while allowing for a little bit of experimentalism (e.g. the title song, Hierarchies) along the way. Apex Predator - Easy Meat is so consistent and merciless, it raises one memorable question: you suffer, but why?
Carpe Diem

Okay, this was just absolutely dreadful. Neo-visual kei rock act Nightmare were arguably head-and-shoulders over their contemporaries, so the fact that an album such as this one exists is totally unfathomable. Record opener "Siva" alongside the last three tracks are all you need, in case if you're curious about the quality of Carpe Diem. Damn you, Avex, for throwing a magical circle around these boys. Oh, and damn you, band members at Nightmare, for rushing your newer full-lengths out.
7The Prodigy
The Day Is My Enemy

Following the footsteps of 2009's Invaders Must Die, the latest album by English electronic dance music band The Prodigy more or less captures the adrenaline-pumping, ravetastic character we've gotten so acquainted with and holds 'er steady as she goes. Are we getting another The Fat of the Land anytime soon? Doubtful, though I'm satisfied at the moment.

You ever wanted to hear what Interpol sounded like with a gospel preacher for a lead vocalist? Basically speaking, here is the evidence. I think it'd be pretty swell to astral project with Algiers' self-titled debut playing from a short distance.
9Dance Gavin Dance
Instant Gratification

Scenesters, nostalgia critics, and unassuming nincompoops rejoice! Modern post-hardcore unit Dance Gavin Dance's Instant Gratification improves upon a couple of its predecessor's flaws, most of which were issues like a reckless production job and Tilian Pearson's place as the clean vocals guy. He's no Jonny Craig or even the spectacular Kurt Travis, though Pearson sounds a bit more confident this time around with harsh screamer Jon Mess backing him up again. The instrumentation remains snappy as ever and the artwork keeps on being so nice to look at. No additional thoughts to offer.
The Ark Work

Transcendental black metal this sure as hell ain't. Adventurous and intriguing, The Ark Work clearly is. It wallows in its own pretension from time to time and mastermind Hunter Hunt-Hendrix's voice doesn't mesh properly with the music, though beyond that, this is an overall solid album. The reactions this will continue to earn - both positive and pessimistic - come as no surprise.
11We Butter The Bread With Butter
Wieder Geil

I can't believe it's not butter and everything, but Christ, these Germans won't be able to live that moniker down. Like, at all. The fourth album under their belts is called Wieder Geil, another by-the-numbers metalcore album with electronics thrown in because why not. Compared to their earlier stuff, it's a bit more salvageable and does contain a few great songs like "Anarchy," "Exorzist," and "Gib Mir Mehr". On the other side of the spectrum, the album won't really pull you in if you've previously witnessed it all before, and the relatively nonsensical songs such as "Rockstar" are cringeworthy. Me personally, I should've enjoyed this more than I thought due to the Hypno Cat on the album cover.
12Faith No More
Sol Invictus

Alternative metal giants Faith No More have hit the mother lode ever since Angel Dust attacked craniums back in 1992, although there are people who point out that it's been like this the moment Mike Patton replaced Chuck Mosley. FNM had wormed their way back into our hearts during Spring 2015 (May 19, to be precise) with Sol Invictus, the spiritual successor to Album Of the Year; ironic title, huh? The man of a thousand voices alongside Roddy, Billy, and the rest of the entourage get comfortable here above all else, reminding us about how fantastic "Epic" was in the form of "Superhero" (from a stylistic perspective) whilst possessing the aptitude to craft abrasive numbers including "Separation Anxiety" and a haunting intro which is the title track.

Everything Else Matters

Pale Horses

16Jeff Rosenstock
We Cool?

4 - You're cooler than the other side of the pillow.
17Native Construct
Quiet World

18The Agonist
Eye of Providence

19Elvis Depressedly
New Alhambra


21Coal Chamber

2.5 - Rivals makes the return of a band not many folks were anticipating, nor gave a rat's furry rectum about. This unexpected, yet somehow really predictable collection of songs will bring back memories of DevilDriver more than it actually will Coal Chamber. Comparisons are unavoidable with Dez Fafara supplying vocals and Mark Lewis behind the producer's chair.
22Make Them Suffer
Old Souls

4 - Twinklecore done right.
23C. C. Munster

3.5 - Hurricanslash's rap project. Here's where you can locate his likeable shit:

3 - A now-irrelevant band from North Carolina put this out, just to set the record straight. It doesn't sound as theatrical as past efforts or even remotely bad, although you can come to the revelation that Alesana are working with a dated formula.
Skills In Pills

26Death Grips
The Powers That B

5 - Whether you prefer Niggas On the Moon or Jenny Death (when?), I would implore you to check The Powers That B in its entirety regardless. MC Ride's off his rocker as per usual and Zach Hill's production and arrangement techniques are far too invigorating, even moreso when Andy Morin opts to throw in his two cents.
27Enter Shikari
The Mindsweep

28Hiatus Kaiyote
Choose Your Weapon

5 - I'm seriously glad I let Nai Palm illuminate the inside of my earholes with that smooth, unforgettable vocal performance of hers. Multi-dimensional, polyrhythmic gangster shit doesn't begin to scratch the surface. This would be my pick my AOTY, and I'm contemplating a review as well.
30Giant Squid
The Ichthyologist
32Straight Line Stitch
33Ian Christ
Hara Kiri Arcade
Angel of Salvation
35King's X
Gretchen Goes to Nebraska
36Number Girl
School Girl Distortional Addict
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