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Brainiac Master Ranker

Brainiac is my favorite noise rock band and they have exactly 50 songs (unless I'm missing a few?) HERE ARE ALL OF THEM RANKED.
50Brainiac
Smack Bunny Baby


"Draag"

This is the only Brainiac song I outright HATE and 18 seconds in it becomes obvious why. Tim Taylor doesn't exactly have the most technical voice, but wow do the vocal effects really highlight that on this song. It sounds like electronic vomit. The music is fairly forgettable too.

1.5/5
49Brainiac
Internationale


"Silver Iodine"

Brainiac has a lot of mellow spacey songs and this is easily the least memorable.

2.5/5
48Brainiac
Internationale


"Cookie Doesn't Sing" [non-album/EP song]

I like the melody a lot, but it suffers from bad production and mumbled vocals. This desperately needed a re-record and a remix, but never got one.

2.5/5
47Brainiac
Smack Bunny Baby


"Get Away"

A limp closer to a very underrated album. He sings as a kid or something who doesn't want to hang out with his neighbor? Is this a metaphor? Meh. What the hell is a turquoise Albert Schweitzer doll? I think the theologian himself would be confused.

2.5/5
46Brainiac
Electro-Shock for President


"For My Beloved"

Just some underdeveloped doodling. Good for what it is though.

3/5
45Brainiac
Smack Bunny Baby


"Brat Girl"

The first album definitely suffers from an identity crisis. Could this song be by any post-hardcore band ever? Probably. It's cool though.

3/5
44Brainiac
Hissing Prigs in Static Couture


"Indian Poker (Part 2)"

Where's "Indian Poker (Part 1)" Brainiac, huh? This is kinda like "For My Beloved", but it has some vocals, so it goes higher."

3/5
43Brainiac
Electro-Shock for President


"The Turnover"

Another Electro-Shock song that probably needed more development. Tim Taylor's death is such a tragedy.

3/5
42Brainiac
Bonsai Superstar


"Meathook Manicure"

The best argument for why Bonsai isn't a hard 5. But it's short and the feedback at the end is neat.

3/5
41Brainiac
Hissing Prigs in Static Couture


"Indian Poker (Part 3)"

By the time I start to love this one it's almost over. Good thing it's the album's opener because all it does is leave me wanting more.

3.5/5
40Brainiac
Electro-Shock for President


"Fashion 500"

I wonder what this song would've become it Tim Taylor's life wasn't cut short. It feels like the background to something epic.

3.5/5
39Brainiac
Internationale


"Superdupersonic (Theme from Brainiac)" [non-album/EP song]

I'm kind of glad this made never made it onton an official release of theirs, but it's still super fun. Much like "Cookie Doesn't Sing", this needs a remix, but the actual performance is way better so.

3.5/5
38Brainiac
Smack Bunny Baby


"Anesthetize"

This one's verses actually ooze personality and definitely hint at what's to come, but the chorus seems like it could've been better.

3.5/5
37Brainiac
Internationale


"Go Freaks Go"

This is the opposite of "Anesthetize" where the verses are meh, but the chorus rules. I guess choruses matter more to me? YOU CAN'T DROWN.

3.5/5
36Brainiac
Internationale


"Velveteen" [non-album/EP song]

The girl talking at the beginning somehow makes this song even better. Honestly, the rest of this is kind of just your typical Smack Bunny-era upbeat yell track. Not that I'm complaining.

3.5/5
35Brainiac
Hissing Prigs in Static Couture


"70 Kg Man"

Now we're getting into the meat of their discography. Seriously, it's manic, catchy, and original. I guess it manages not to instrumentally engage me as much as the stuff ranked above this though.

4/5
34Brainiac
Smack Bunny Baby


"Hurting Me"

Definitely a great song, but it does lack that unique style Brainiac would have on their next release. But hey, generic has its awesome moments still. Plus it's generic for 90s alt noise-rock, not generic in general.

4/5
33Brainiac
Bonsai Superstar


"Collide"

Almost all distortion. A calm closer to one of the most manic masterpieces ever. What a contradiction, distorted, calm...maybe one of their weirdest.

4/5
32Brainiac
Bonsai Superstar


"Transmissions After Zero"

I feel like the "musique concrete collage mess" is a trope with these *fucking around weirdo rock bands* so obviously Brainiac has a couple and this one is very good.

4/5
31Brainiac
Hissing Prigs in Static Couture


"Hot Seat Can't Sit Down"

Enough musical variety to be this high on the list, but also not really why I love Brainaic. It's kinda safe for them, y'know? If this one's too weird for you, I guess you'll hate this band haha.

4/5
30Brainiac
Hissing Prigs in Static Couture


"Strung"

Normally the horror screaming in the back would annoy the hell out of me, but here it's used sparsely and makes this mellow Brainiac track haunting.

4/5
29Brainiac
Bonsai Superstar


"Fucking with the Altimeter"

Now, THIS is some weird shit. I wish I liked the chorus vocals more, but they're so whiny and gross, but everything else about this song is perfection. "Gimme some love" + that beatboxing + the whispered verses, just like what.

4/5
28Brainiac
Smack Bunny Baby


"Ride"

Anthemic (which I usually hate,) but it's fun, so it's okay guys. This probably should've been the lead single on Smack Bunny Baby.

4/5
27Brainiac
Bonsai Superstar


"To the Baby-Counter"

Great guitar line, strong vocals, goofy vocals, good bass line. Why isn't this higher? I don't know it feels somehow more passive than their best stuff.

4/5
26Brainiac
Electro-Shock for President


"Flash Ram"

One of the 3 songs on Electro-Shock that actually sounds finished. Robotic and extra dancy for Brainiac. I like the other 2 finished ones way more though.

4/5
25Brainiac
Internationale


"Dexatrim" [non-album/EP song]

Now here's a song that could've easily worked on one of their albums. I suppose Bonsai since it's from 1994 and matches that style best. It's more straightforward than most of Bonsai though, so maybe that's why it was left off.

4/5
24Brainiac
Hissing Prigs in Static Couture


"Beekeeper's Maxim"

Oh my god, now this is some good shit. The vocals use weird falsetto to somehow make for a strong chorus. Everything is building and building and of course, it leads into Brainiac's best song.

4.5/5
23Brainiac
Electro-Shock for President


"Mr. Fingers"

Strong wacky electronic rock dedicated to a house pioneer. Man the percussion and the chorus are insane. I want an alternate timeline where Electro-Shock was able to come to completion. Please?

4.5/5
22Brainiac
Smack Bunny Baby


"I Could Own You"

Now for the hard defense for Smack Bunny Baby. This is an incredibly memorable and entertaining alternative rock song and the backups are cool. It's simplistic for them, but hey that's more than fine with me. The guitar solo is very classic rock haha.

4.5/5
21Brainiac
Hissing Prigs in Static Couture


"This Little Piggy"

The way the electronic voice slightly lags behind the main vocals is awesome. Also another classic Brainiac chorus (they're really good at these, like REALLY good.)

4.5/5
20Brainiac
Internationale


"Simon Says"

An EP song so good they released it twice on 2 different formats. Another great chorus. It's very dynamic, but kind of repeatitive. Would go over great at a punk show.

4.5/5
19Brainiac
Bonsai Superstar


"Status: Choke"

Ringtone bleep bloops and a screamy chorus. Why do I like this? The culmination of it all and its placement on the album really makes it the one last explosion before the album's mellow closer. It's annoying, but in a great way.

4.5/5
18Brainiac
Smack Bunny Baby


"Smack Bunny Baby"

Explosive from the getgo and doesn't let up. Also yes, 100% yes to that solo. It's a hurricane of a song. I swear, add some beeping in there and it'd be a Bonsai song.

5/5
17Brainiac
Smack Bunny Baby


"I, Fuzzbot

That jarring first note, what is this "Serve the Servants" by Nirvana? No, but it's almost as good. This is one of their most claustrophobic songs on Smack Bunny Baby. No space, just distortion and angry indie boy vocals. Classic song.

5/5
16Brainiac
Hissing Prigs in Static Couture


"The Vulgar Trade"

I might be crazy for loving this, but it's just so random. It's inspired from a play from the 1500s and uses distortion and rattling off of the names of jewels in a way that uh.... uh what is this Brainiac what are you doing? More, please?

5/5
15Brainiac
Hissing Prigs in Static Couture


"Vincent Come on Down"

This might be their most famous song and maybe it's because it's their only one to have a music video? OR because it's so catchy while not sacrificing their stylistic integrity? I love the bass and vocal effects here, personally.

5/5
14Brainiac
Smack Bunny Baby


"Cultural Zero"

This one already sounds like it belongs on Bonsai Superstar. Terrifying and intense vocals, ringing sounds, crashing riffs. Love the way it ends too.

5/5
13Brainiac
Bonsai Superstar


"Juicy (On a Cadillac)"

What is he even saying? Eh who cares, have you heard that bass line? Or that squeaking? Or the odd as-hell chorus? One of the best bands ever. Does anyone else sound like this?

5/5
12Brainiac
Smack Bunny Baby


"Martian Dance Invasion"

Maybe it's wrong that my favorite song on Smack Bunny Baby is the only one not sung by Tim Taylor, but short-time member Michelle Bodine oozes personality and that guitar line is one of my favorites of theirs.

5/5
11Brainiac
Bonsai Superstar


"Sexual Frustration"

Those 30 opening seconds of distorted electronic vocals set the stage for a song that sounds as if a dance-punk was being drowned 10 feet below a lake. Once it emerges it's a frustrated-sounding electronic noise rock track that's still pretty dancy despite being aggressive and weird. I wouldn't have it any other way.

5/5
10Brainiac
Hissing Prigs in Static Couture


"I Am a Cracked Machine"

This is it guys, Brainiac's most unhinged, angry song. He sounds like a robot that is about to murder an entire city full of people. The section changes hit hard and his vocals are just terrifying. All with a robo-filter on his voice because this is Brainiac after all. Can't be too straight-laced.

5/5
9Brainiac
Bonsai Superstar


"Flypaper"

Mellow and bassy and with obvious inspiration from Black Francis. It's arguably cute. The pickup at the end elevates this song to a masterpiece. This is ArsCore incarnate.

5/5
8Brainiac
Electro-Shock for President


"Fresh New Eyes"

Oh, what could've been. It's like industrial punk. It's too short and the ending feels abrupt, so it might be unfinished like most of this EP, but hey it's not damaged by that.

5/5
7Brainiac
Bonsai Superstar


"Radio Apeshot"

Another whisper-verse Brainiac song with a chaotic chorus (the Pixies quiet-loud-quiet dynamic.) I love the guitar riff a lot here. And it has a bass solo, so +100 points for that haha.

5/5
6Brainiac
Bonsai Superstar


"Hands of the Genius"

What the hell is Tim even saying here? Whatever the drums, guitar, and keys are all amazing. "Handsofagenius" was a password I used for some accounts, though I no longer use it for anything, so yeah I love this.

5/5
5Brainiac
Hissing Prigs in Static Couture


"Nothing Ever Changes"

From the getgo, the bass and drums work together perfectly and the two layers of vocals on the chorus is just brilliant goofy mania. DO IT DO IT DO IT NOTHING EVER CHANGESSSS queue cool 3-second guitar solo that quickly flashes away. And it ends with a guitar solo that sounds like rushing someone to a hospital.

5/5
4Brainiac
Hissing Prigs in Static Couture


"Pussyfootin'"

I can't emphasize how happy those falsetto vocals and electronic squeaks make me. And the weird deep ones during the chorus too. The juxtaposition of high and low vocals Brainiac does on their songs is classic as hell. Oh yeah, and it's incredibly catchy.

5/5
3Brainiac
Bonsai Superstar


"You Wrecked My Hair"

This is the first Brainiac song I heard. User NeroCorleone80 rec'd these guys to me (bless you, Nero.) The chaotic collage intro that bursts into a terrifying noise rock anger fest with a sick bassline is too good to be true. I asked on a thread about an electronic noise rock band and he delivered. Man, that chorus is great too. I DON'T UNDERSTAND IF I DON'T WANT TO.

5/5
2Brainiac
Bonsai Superstar


"Hot Metal Doberman's"

Weird alien vocal filter? Check. Catchy prominent bass? Check. Wacky guitar line? Check. Weird falsetto Tim Taylor vocals in the chorus? Check. Yeah, this is Brainiac at their best.

5/5
1Brainiac
Hissing Prigs in Static Couture


"Kiss Me, U Jacked Up Jerk"

Their actual best bassline, weird Mexico-inspired lyrics. "I wrote in lazy español, but I think she only speaks in jazz. (Como el Satchmo) Da-boom-di-bao!" The song halfway through completely changes into a manic romantic or violent song about some girl. "Your safety's falling like a goddamn shark attack" I uh I don't know, I love it. Might be top 10 songs of all time honestly. It's very annoying in the best way.

5/5
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