Detective Ars

Reviews 35
Approval 91%

Soundoffs 97
News Articles 14
Band Edits + Tags 1,630
Album Edits 183

Album Ratings 1002
Objectivity 75%

Last Active 01-19-22 1:02 am
Joined 08-22-13

Forum Posts 179
Review Comments 35,912

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Ryus Made Me Hear These and Wanted a List About Em

Blah blah blah Umbrella contest. Blah blah blah of course I didn't like these. Here yah go.
1Chief Keef
Back From The Dead 2

I heard this last week and just typed a stream of conscious as I heard it so bare with me:

I’m up to “Faneto” and I don’t know… I’m overwhelmed by this, but also simultaneously bored. So much mumbling and trap snares. Sometimes It sounds more like he’s just talking than actually rapping. I think that means his flow is bad, but I’m not sure. “Blurry” sounds closer to older Southern Hip Hop I think than trap, like Crunk? Then again, I have no idea. I’m so bored Ryus, if you wanted to get me into hip hop, why not pick something safe like Outkast or like Digable Planets. HOLY CRAP finally, “Home” actually is a little catchy, at least compared to all before it. Mostly because that weird scratchy beat. I thought hip hop was supposed to have beats that were ear catching, this is the first one of the album and it’s track 9. This shit is so boring it’s hard to even pay attention. Most of this just sounds like he’s reading a list.
2Chief Keef
Back From The Dead 2

The squealing of “you just got done taking a shit” on “Who Is That” is beautiful poetry. He’s smoking cat piss now? Ew. “The Moral” is easily the best on here by far. Cool 8-bit sounding stuff and weird swelling sounds. If this album had more shit like that maybe I’d like this… okay that’s a stretch, but this song is instrumentally interesting to say the least. This guy says “Sosa on the beat” too much, it’s like when DJ Khalid says “we the best music” before his songs. Okay, it’s over, and the production wasn’t terrible, but I did not like anything else really. You could’ve made me listen to something like Aquemini or Vaudeville Villain or something. Maybe you could’ve finally made me like rap, but this ain’t it.

3A. G. Cook
Radio Tank Mix

Just heard this now and did a track by track as I listened:

“Time’s Up” - Off the bat this is bubblegum kitsch. This sounds like a Barbie commercial. It has a certain appeal to it. 3/5
[Untitled] 1 - The vocals on this one are kinda gross, but the beat is kinda cool. Haha, that beat fuckery is kinda cool though. 3/5
“Promenade / Ice Cave / The Birds” - **ATMOSPHERIC** 3/5
“Latch” - A Disclosure remix? But why? Okay, this one’s idiotic c’mon. Shit post - 1/5
[Untitled] 2 - This one’s fun in a bedroom trance kinda way. Do people do molly to A. G. Cook? - 3/5
“Mosiac.wav” - HOLY COCAINE - 2/5
“TLC” - Uh it’s over already? - 3/5
“Tenkian” - Sounds like farts though - 2/5
“Not Love” - Okay pop song… these are so short - 3/5
“Yonrad” - idk more cutesy - 3/5
“Guess Wot? - Rapping and Englishness - 2/5
“Aphex Aural Exciter” - I like it, for some reason - 4/5
“Games” - R&B hyperpop time, I guess. Boring honestly - 2/5
“Fourth Garden Flow” - What is this nerd shit... decent - 3/5
4A. G. Cook
Radio Tank Mix

“Nightspeeder - Creative and choppy. See hyperpop has potential when it’s not being all “OwO may I bite u” and stuff - 4/5
“Rescue Her” - This ain’t it chief - 2/5
“Exotica” - This talking makes me think of Zappa’s Lumpy Gravy - 3/5
“Ain’t Nobody Like You” - Wow this lady’s a cunt - 1/5
“Song Idea” - Chill vibes 3/5
“Bipp” - I know the original by Sophie and it’s better honestly - 3/5
“Hardstyle Skit” - This is cringe as fuck. STOP TALKING GUY YOU’RE ONLY MAKING IT WORSE -1/5
“Lifestyle” - Chiptuney. What if Zelda was a boy? - 3/5
“Sez uz slieksna pasacina” - This is very bland - 2/5
“This Kiss” - Is this Nightcore? - 2/5
“Beautiful” - Maybe at a club, and with enough alcohol in my system, I could dance to this. The kinda mixed drink that’s so fruity that I can’t measure the alcohol content - 3/5

Final thoughts: way better than 100 Gecs, but nothing here is as interesting as "Ponyboy" or "Bipp by Sophie so uh… This is Since I Left You for the “OwO rawr” crowd. FINAL SCORE = 2.5/5
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