Detective Ars

Reviews 35
Approval 91%

Soundoffs 97
News Articles 14
Band Edits + Tags 1,630
Album Edits 183

Album Ratings 1002
Objectivity 75%

Last Active 01-19-22 1:02 am
Joined 08-22-13

Forum Posts 179
Review Comments 35,912

01.14.22 🐍 Which Album Hisses Better? 🐍12.25.21 Secret Santa Albums 2021
12.24.21 Userbase: did you vote yet?12.04.21 I Am Not Afraid of You and I Will Beat
12.01.21 Song of the Day: December 2021 11.16.21 All of my Soul/Funk/R&B 5s and 4.5s Exc
10.29.21 Reefa Inspired: Ars Top 25 Zappa10.14.21 Ryus Made Me Hear These and Wanted a Li
10.03.21 Umbrella 2021 Results: Closing a Third 09.26.21 Umbrella Contest 2021 Round 12: 11 Umbr
09.19.21 Umbrella Contest 2021 Round 11: The Umb09.12.21 Umbrella Contest 2021 Round 10: Breezy
09.05.21 Umbrella Contest 2021 Round 9: Routine 09.04.21 Ars Choice Beach Boys Cuts 1966-1971
08.29.21 Umbrella Contest 2021 Round 8: Prop Umb08.22.21 Umbrella Contest 2021 Round 7: Handmade
08.15.21 Umbrella Contest 2021 Round 6: Stage Um08.08.21 Umbrella Contest 2021 Round 5: Mute Umb
More »

Umbrella Contest 2021 Round 6: Stage Umbrella

2 more out and 16 still in! Also, nol resigned by choice, so he's out too.
1Kate Bush
Never for Ever

1.Link a song via YouTube, Spotify, Soundcloud, Bandcamp, DailyMotion, Vimeo... or whatever you like as long as I don't have to download something.

2. The theme this round is Show Tunes. These songs do not have to be from a musical, but they must at least be trying to invoke the tropes of musical theater in an obvious way. Don't pick something from a jukebox musical. Songs by ABBA and the Temptations are not Show Tunes y'know?

3. Aim to impress me with what you pick, since I'm rating these.

4. If I know the song already, I'll tell you to pick something new, otherwise, you're good.

5. I'm going to start each new round every Sunday night (EST,) so if you're late, you're out. My 1-2 least favorite recs will be eliminated each round (1 if we don't get a lot of people and 2 if we do.)

***The winner of the competition can recommend me whatever 2 albums they want and I'll listen to them no matter the album as long as it's not impossible to find and as long as neither exceeds 3 hours.***
2The Comet Is Coming
Trust in the Lifeforce of Deep Mystery

“Summon the Fire “

Bassy and with weird distorted saxophone. It’s spacey and psychedelic, which is super neat. Although there are no vocals, the saxophone has a melodic presence that feels like a stand-in for vocals. I’m feeling it!

4/5 (Passed to next round)
3Charles Mingus
Let My Children Hear Music

“The Shoes of the Fisherman's Wife Are Some Jive Ass Slippers”

I know this is jazz, but it almost makes me think of abstract classical. Wait now it’s settling into a more chill jazz thing. I like the twinkly percussion (is that vibraphone or?) Oh weird, that piano is a huge change of pace. This next section is flashy and fun, but I don’t know if I love this entire piece on the whole. It’s good though, in a background kind of way. In fact it is pretty much impossible to hate this and Mingus is clearly an impressive composer. Each section felt like a different part of a symphony.

3.6/5 (Passed to next round)
4Mahavishnu Orchestra
The Inner Mounting Flame

“Meeting of the Spirits”

Ominous guitar and organs. Intense violin and proggy everything else. This is just prog wankery now, which would be more enjoyable maybe if it didn’t just seem like a “ rock jam.” That key solo is cool, but I wish the bass was more interesting. This entire song is just a vehicle for wank guitar.

3.1/5 (Passed to next round)
5Sigur Ros
( )

“Untitled ("Njósnavélin")”

The drums have a very serious vibe, but everything else is calm and ambient. Weird background squealing noises. Jonsi sounds like Thom Yorke a little, but maybe with a higher pitch. This is pretty and relaxing, but it doesn’t grab me at all. It has a weird quality that makes me feel like it could grow.

3.3/5 (Passed to next round)
Talk Memory

“Signal From the Noise”

I like BADBADNOTGOOD’s work on Jerry Paper’s album Toon Time Raw! a lot, so let’s see how this goes. Whoa, that’s very dissonant at first. That crackling in the background is cool, but I do wonder where the piano and bass are going to take me. This is definitely dragging on too long for its own good and it didn’t go anywhere I was too excited about, but yeah it wasn’t bad.

3.1/5 (Passed to next round)
7Egberto Gismonti
Sonho 70

“Janela de Ouro”

Catchy build up. I like the flutes and the strings. The bass and percussion are basic, but not in a bad way. It’s songs like these why I’m happy that I allowed vocalizations. They bring so much life to this jazz fusion piece. This is like twee jazz with how cutesy the vocals are. Oh shit, those strings and bass just went into overdrive. This was both cohesive and wild at the same time. I always talk about how buildups need good payoffs and this did that wonderfully.

4.5/5 (ROUND WINNER! handicap (for others) of +0.5 for the next round)
8Secret Chiefs 3
Book of Horizons

“The Owl in Daylight”

Oh look it’s a Mr. Bungle side project. Jarring twinkles and purposefully off beat drums. It’s like a carnival nightmare. I do like that bass and the harp? is pretty too. Now it’s scary. This has all of the chaos of Mr. Bungle song, but slowed down. It helps me understand which parts of Bungle were probably composed by Spruance. Well made stuff.

3.8/5 (Passed to next round)

“Prelude for Time Feelers”

Moonlight sonata-esque? Some light strings in the background now. It’s pretty I guess, in a boring passive listening kind of way. It’s literally putting me to sleep so I suppose it’s hypnotic? I don’t like this.


“Eshowe Cicadas”

Loud cicada robot noises with some jazzy drums and bass on the side. Not sure why people are picking ambient stuff for me, but I will say the overall vibe of this is nice even if the structure is a bit passive and bland. I’m mixed on it honestly.

3/5 (Passed to next round)
11Blacks' Myths
Blacks' Myths 2

“Free Land”

Abstract drums in the background and some persisting distorted noise in the foreground. What is this? Well that bass is okay I guess and is that some distorted guitar now? This one was a slog.

2.6/5 (+.5 for winning last round) = 3.1/5
12Christopher Rau
The Keys

“Ping to You”

More house music from normaloctagon, right on schedule. Like your house choices are dancy, but also not like super dancy. If someone told me to dance to this I could, but I also can’t imagine denizens of a club finding this beat infectious or anything. Maybe throw in a punchier bass and slightly speed up the tempo. Boring, but not bad I guess.

2.8/5 (Passed to next round)
13Pekka Pohjola
Harakka Bialoipokku

“Hereilläkin uni Jatkuu”

More chill jazz with some somber saxophone. Nice pickup, and nice bass and drums. This is exciting like a spy movie chase theme. Oh shit that offbeat thing is off the rails. Does this part count as a bass solo or a saxophone solo? I like it regardless. Okay, so this bass is absolutely knocking it out of the park and has found an infectious groove. The drums and sax rule, everything about this is cool. Never a dull moment.

4.4/5 (Passed to next round)
14Ichiko Aoba
Windswept Adan


Cool percussion and pretty vocalizations. I was about to say this was ambient, but then the frantic folk guitar came in. What’s that weird metallic sound? It’s cool, but puzzling. This is dreamy and flashy and unique my ears at least.

3.9/5 (Passed to next round)
15Indigo Jam Unit


Slap bass by itself so far, hmmmm. Good groove and cool rattling percussion. That piano was cool, and kinda left quickly after it entered. This is mostly bass, drums, but it feels like a full piece, so it’s impressive to see them do so much with only 2 instruments. The piano is back, which is nice and keeps the piece interesting. Yeah, everything here is neat.

4/5 (Passed to next round)
End the Summertime F(or)ever

“Vision of this Earth Before Our Time”

Oh damn, a hip hop instrumental! It’s catchy for sure. The vocalizations are nice and I like how the samples swirl around in general. Record scratching is always cool. Not much else to say since it’s fairly repetitive, but it’s not repetitive in a bad way!

3.8/5 (Passed to next round)

“Glammer Hammer”

Is this the second half of a segway because it made no haste starting. It’s quite intense and those simple drums are definitely standing out the most, but I don’t know if I like any of it much so far. Nice wind down and repickup. Now it feels like it’s shuffling between being serious metal and fancy drums. I don’t love this, but it’s not bad.

3/5 (Passed to next round)
18Aphex Twin


Fast IDM drums and bleep bloops. It’s pretty cool, but this genre even when good feels so in one ear and out the other. Good atmosphere, good synths, good drums… I feel like I’m repeating myself. Wish it had more identity, but whatever.

3.2/5 (Passed to next round)
19Joan Jett and the Blackhearts

Cosmic Jared
“Constellations of Ars”

Whoa, finally something that isn’t mostly spacey guitar from Colton. Synth strings mostly! Weird percussion -I’m not sure how to feel about it. Wait, there’s the guitar. It’s fine enough. Boring, but inoffensive.

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