Detective Ars

Reviews 35
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Last Active 01-19-22 1:02 am
Joined 08-22-13

Forum Posts 179
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01.14.22 🐍 Which Album Hisses Better? 🐍12.25.21 Secret Santa Albums 2021
12.24.21 Userbase: did you vote yet?12.04.21 I Am Not Afraid of You and I Will Beat
12.01.21 Song of the Day: December 2021 11.16.21 All of my Soul/Funk/R&B 5s and 4.5s Exc
10.29.21 Reefa Inspired: Ars Top 25 Zappa10.14.21 Ryus Made Me Hear These and Wanted a Li
10.03.21 Umbrella 2021 Results: Closing a Third 09.26.21 Umbrella Contest 2021 Round 12: 11 Umbr
09.19.21 Umbrella Contest 2021 Round 11: The Umb09.12.21 Umbrella Contest 2021 Round 10: Breezy
09.05.21 Umbrella Contest 2021 Round 9: Routine 09.04.21 Ars Choice Beach Boys Cuts 1966-1971
08.29.21 Umbrella Contest 2021 Round 8: Prop Umb08.22.21 Umbrella Contest 2021 Round 7: Handmade
08.15.21 Umbrella Contest 2021 Round 6: Stage Um08.08.21 Umbrella Contest 2021 Round 5: Mute Umb
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Umbrella Contest 2021 Round 4: Umbrella for Two

2 are out and 22 are still in.
1Minnie Riperton
Adventures In Paradise

1.Link a song via YouTube, Spotify, Soundcloud, Bandcamp, DailyMotion, Vimeo... or whatever you like as long as I don't have to download something.

2. The theme this round is Sentimental Ballads. Slow, melodic and romantic. They're in stark contrast with the upbeat fun pop song, but often just as poppy. Pop, R&B, soft rock, country, and electronic have ballads. The music where you hold your partner while slow dancing.

3. Aim to impress me with what you pick, since I'm rating these.

4. If I know the song already, I'll tell you to pick something new, otherwise, you're good.

5. I'm going to start each new round every Sunday night (EST,) so if you're late, you're out. My 1-2 least favorite recs will be eliminated each round (1 if we don't get a lot of people and 2 if we do.)

***The winner of the competition can recommend me whatever 2 albums they want and I'll listen to them no matter the album as long as it's not impossible to find and as long as neither exceeds 3 hours.***
2Kruder and Dorfmeister
The K&D Sessions

“Trans Fatty Acid”
(1998 remix of a 1996 song by Lamb that also samples Do You Believe by Webster Lewis from 1972)

Cool organs, cool percussion. The vocals are very trip hop, as is the music but it also seems more cheery and less dark than most trip hop I’ve heard, maybe not lyrically, but sonically. Cool jazz jam toward the end. This is definitely cool, but I don’t know if I love it. Tabals? Hmmm.

3.9/5 (Passed to next round)
3Flying Lotus

(samples The Chris Hinze Combination - Until the Sun Stops Shining & Miguel Atwood-Ferguson - Great Galactic)

Jarring space alien bleep bloops. Wait now there’s a drum solo. Kinda random with all of the different sections in two minutes, but at least all of the sections were cool on their own. Nice string ending.

3.8/5 (Passed to next round)
4Patricia Taxxon

"Rock On”
(Samples: Slipknot- Psychosocial/Demi Lovato- Sorry Not Sorry)

Those drums sound like popping balloons and who is that douche whose vocals were sampled haha. Oh look it’s the Amen Break nu-metal riffs together. Yup there’s the Slipknot sample. Ah there’s Demi. I don’t like this. The Amen Break is always cool, but everything else I kind of hate.

5Viktor Vaughn
Vaudeville Villain

“Can I Watch?”

Cool intro bass/drum combo. Petty piano too and damn he brought in a female rapper. Sega and Chess? I don't care much for the rapping, but it isn’t in the way and the instrumentation is neat. Damn having a girl insult you on your own album is strange haha, but it works.

3.6/5 (Passed to next round)
6Utah Saints
Utah Saints

"Something Good"
(featuring samples from Kate Bush's song "Cloudbusting")

Sampling Kate Bush is a smart direction, but also is he screaming? Oh my god, this is the most 90s dance song ever now. It’s kind of boring honestly. I guess it’d be fun if I were actually at a club? Maybe?

7Handsome Boy Modeling School
White People

“I've Been Thinking” (feat. Cat Power)
(Samples Chicken Curry and His Pop Percussion Orchestra's, Last Tango In Paris. The 25 second mark of the song to be precise.)

Dan the Automator! I know him from Lovage! I never heard much from Cat Power, but she definitely turns this into a nice trip hop track with her sultry vocals. Nice brass, sexy vibes, good bass. This song is definitely great.

4.1/5 (Passed to next round)
8De La Soul
3 Feet High and Rising

“Eye Know”

Very uplifting sounding, especially with that whistling. The guitar, bass, and drums are fine, though none really grab me. The woodwind sample thingy is neat though. This is chill and focused, so it’s pretty difficult to dislike regardless.

3.5/5 (Passed to next round)
9Four Tet

“As Serious As Your Life”
(Sampled this

Harpsichord sounds and guitar are both working. Okay random electronic doodle sound haha. Some backmasking was thrown in, but the main theme has been fairly repetitive. Wait, a section change. I don’t dislike this, but IDM in general doesn’t grab me, especially if it doesn’t have vocals.

3/5 (+.5 for winning last round) = 3.5/5 (Passed to next round)
10Amon Tobin
Out From Out Where

“Cosmo Retro Intro Outro”
(samples 3 Hürel - Ömür Biter Yol Bitmez among probably a billion other things.)

Very creepy psychedelic intro. Cool percussion and edgy beat that goes for an intense kinda thing. Kinda just jammy and the abrupt ending felt very unearned, but the timbres were cool, so I can’t hate it.

3.2/5 (Passed to next round)
11Fatboy Slim
You've Come a Long Way, Baby

“Praise You”
(Samples: Camille Yarbrough - Take Yo' Praise)

A slow intro with piano hmm. There’s a chance I’ve heard this before, but it could be that I know the sample. Glitchy voice is neat. The beat changes a lot, but pretty much fits. Weird pause, but I think its the music video’s fault, not the studio versions so that’s fine. Not as good as “Rockafeller Skank” but still good for sure.

4/5 (Passed to next round)
12Sneaker Pimps

“Loretta Young Silks”
(Samples: Bill Withers - I wish you well /Ippu-Do - Chinese Reggae)

This is what people in the 1960s thought aliens sounded like. Terrible vocals oh god, but the beat is neat as hell. What a conflict. What happened to the “6 Underground” lady? She sounds great. The way this picks up is so “early 2000s pop rock” that it almost gets in the way of how cool the trip hop is. Seriously, this dude could front a post grunge band easily and I hate it. I have no idea what to rate this since the music rules hard and the vocals suck hard, so I guess I’ll go neutral.

2.5/5 (Passed to next round)
Noblesse oblige

“Suis Moi”
(Sample: Submotion Orchestra - All Yours)

“All Yours” is a good song -nice sample choice. Are those trap beats? Oh my. Not sure what he’s saying, but his voice isn’t annoying anything. Not for sure at all, but not the worst thing ever.

2.7/5 (Passed to next round)
Metaphorical Music

“The Final View”
(Sample: Yusef Lateef - Love Theme from Spartacus)

The jazz samples are always a good sign. Abrasive sax and a whispering lady, hmmm. Kind of passive and backgroundish, but still chill in a good way. Not much else to say about this one, but for background music, it’s good for sure.

3.5/5 (Passed to next round)

“Silly Love Songs”
(Which samples the Wings song of the same name:

A reference to nursery rhyme “Hey Diddle Diddle” and John Lennon’s “Just Gimme Some Truth” over some crunchy guitar notes and happy piano. With a Wings sample, I guess this is a double solo-Beatles reference. It isn’t really catching my ear, but it’s almost too earnestly goofy, yet poppy, for me to hate it.

3.1/5 (Passed to next round)
16Deltron 3030
Deltron 3030

“Things You Can Do”
(Sample of Susan Jacks' What Can the Matter Be and then some)

Pitched up fairy vocals and cool drums. I’m feeling this, the rapper is even grabbing me. It makes me feel nostalgic in a way… I blame “Clint Eastwood.” Neat record scratching.

4.1/5 (Passed to next round)
17Amon Tobin


Cool jazzy piano and bass part, off to a great start. Creepy stuff, especially with those woodwinds. Oh look, it’s the Amen Break again! Hi Amen Break! The way the music gets all cheerful after its creepy feels sinister in a “evil child demon” kind of way. Or maybe it’s just supposed to be representative of people enjoying the darkness of night life… that would be simpler. This is very entertaining to say the least. Creepy childlike chorus at the end with more jarring woodwinds. Way better than the other Tobin choice.

4.3/5 (ROUND WINNER! handicap (for others) of +0.5 for the next round)
18Jamie xx
In Colour

(Samples: Freeez - I.O.U., Studio - Out There, The Whitest Boy Alive - Burning)

Slick and poppy with a nice bassline. The vocals are slightly distorted and R&Bish. Not the most interesting song ever, but it’s easy on the ears.

3.1/5 (Passed to next round)
The 5th Exotic

"The 5th Exotic"
(Samples: "Martinique" by Martin Denny (from the album "Quiet Village" 1959)

I like the crackling and the percussion a lot so far. The vocal samples are mesmerizing and the music keeps building upon itself. Lovely strings too. It’s kinda trippy too. Not super focused, but despite that, I liked it.

4/5 (Passed to next round)

(Samples a couple things but mostly

Jazzy and quick and with weird vocal distortions and piano. It’s weird and catchy. I have hardly anything else to say, but it’s cool.

3.8/5 (Passed to next round)
21Joan Jett and the Blackhearts

Cosmic Jared
“Desert Ars”
(self samples)

More mellow acoustic guitar from Cosmic Jared, but wait are those flute synths? Is that some electric guitar incorporated? Do I love this? No. Is it terrible? No. Make a post-rock album honestly.

3/5 (Passed to next round)
22Public Enemy
It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back

“Black Steel in the Hour of Chaos”
(Samples (a bunch)

Oh damn what a line to take from “Living for the City” and now it’s intense as hell. I’m not feeling this one at all. Honestly it’s kind of overwhelming for some reason. Then again the record scratching and background distorted vocals are cool. I’m mixed on this one, but this is probably not my style overall.

3/5 (Passed to next round)
23Roxy Music
Roxy Music

(samples: Peter Gun - Duane Eddy)

Weird that a glam rock song from 1972 uses samples. Vocals are okay, the guitar is shreddy, and the saxophone is pretty neat. It’s all over the place and fun to listen, definitely an example of the whole being stronger than the sum of its parts. I wonder why those chose this song to have 3 samples, but not others, seems off brand for 70s rock. WhoSampled wouldn’t lie though I think, so yeah.

3.7/5 (Passed to next round)
At The Speed of Life


Rapping is okay, the drums are okay, the background is okay. So he’s criticizing rappers for being money hungry, okay. Man, this one was a slog. The music was so dull, it forced me to focus on the rapping which was fine.

2.5/5 (Passed to next round)
100 lbs

“Oo Licky”
(Samples: Faze-o - Riding High/Joao Gilberto - Girl from Ipanema)

Some crackling and a robot voice so far. I’m waiting for a pickup, because for a dance song this has been so mellow so far. 4 minutes in and I don’t think there’s going to be a pickup, so now I’m going to label this chill out music. Nothing here is catchy, memorable, or interesting enough for this to be almost 8 minutes. Not into this less is more approach. Here: less is certainly less.

2.5/5 (Passed to next round)
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