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The 12 Suckiest Songs of the Year

In the spirit of Christmas, I will say that musicians are entitled to create any crap that they desire to do so. However, doesn't mean I like it all. With the popular 12 Days of Christmas song in mind, I give you the 12 songs that gave me explosive fucking diarrhea. Merry Christmas! These are in no particular, as well.
Get Rollin'

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... "Skinny Little Missy" by Nickelback and threw up in my fucking mouth from the sexist, misogynistic lyrics and horridly generic guitar patterns.
Will of the People

On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... "Will of the People" by Muse and I nearly collapsed from the awful 'will of the people' chants to the tune of Marilyn Manson's "The Beautiful People." The senselessness of the song, awful melodies, the terrible vocals, it's all just the worst.
Honestly, Nevermind

On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... "Jimmy Cooks" by Drake and I sharted so hard into a microphone that I managed to produce a better sounding tune than this god forsaken song. Boring, endlessly dull and lifeless from the production to the lyrics to the vocals, just all terrible.
4Imagine Dragons
Mercury - Acts 1 & 2

On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... "Ferris Wheel" by Imagine Dragons and it made me want to jump off a real-life spinning Ferris Wheel from the tippity top. The fall would mask the song playing and the splat onto the pavement would ensure me that I would never have to listen to it again.
5Machine Gun Kelly
Mainstream Sellout

On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... "EMO GIRL" BY MACHINE GUN KELLY.

On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... "Shout Your Freedom" by Skillet and yeah, I don't feel like I have to explain this one very hard. It's a skillet song, first off. Secondly, I believe a dyslexic horse would produce better lyrics than this band. Thirdly, it's literally a turd of a song.
7Parkway Drive
Darker Still

On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... "If A God Can Bleed" by Parkway Drive and I think I just had a stroke and an aneurysm at the same time. What is this fucking song? Who thought this was a good idea? Don't albums have to go through a record company or at least a few ears before being released to the public. This should have never seen the light of day.

On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... "I'm That Girl" by Beyonce and I felt gross. Listen, all your Queen B stans out there...this ain't it. This is really not very good whatsoever. Throwing a bunch of sounds and styles together doesn't make it unique. It's such a hodgepodge of terribleness but I know you simps will sip any honey your Queen B produces.
Planet Zero

On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... "America Burning" by Shinedown and I immediately started saluting the flag, licking some boots and talking about how wokeness is bad. I don't like camo jackets, I don't like big trucks with maga flags waving off the back of them and I don't like this song. It's really a testament to how bands think they're saying something so original that people are afraid to touch but in reality, just sound out of touch, ignorant and stupid.
10Panic! at the Disco
Viva Las Vengeance

On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... "Local God" by Panic! at the Disco and I thought it couldn't get any worse. The whole album is really bad, let's just get that out of the way. But this song single-handedly made me believe that life isn't worth living. It's a sad excuse for a song but a has-been who has gone off the rails.
11Machine Gun Kelly
Mainstream Sellout

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... "Ay!" by Machine Gun Kelly ft. Lil Wayne and I cried for a few hours, mostly from laughter but partially because of sadness that this song managed to come alive. It's really a testament to how stupid people are that listen to MGK because they just keep eating this shit up.
12We Came As Romans

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... "Promise You" by We Came as Romans and I was really sad because of how terrible it was to lose Kyle but this is how the band repays him, with literal garbage. Terrible, honestly offensive.
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