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A Nightmare On Elm Street ranked

Ranking my favorite horror franchise. Top 3 are basically all #1, bottom 2 are basically tied for the bottom.

A Nightmare On Elm Street 6: The Final Nightmare - This one spends the entire run time pissing in the faces of all Nightmare fans. Horrible 3D gimmick, worst side characters, terrible forced back story, a “final kill” of Freddy that makes zero sense, looney tunes humor, bloodless kills, I mean fuck me I could go forever. If Alice fucking Cooper, Robert Englund and a cameo from Johnny Depp can’t save your movie then you know you are an embarrassment to your series. Fuck this and fuck the remake.
Like an Ever Flowing Stream

A Nightmare On Elm Street (2010): Fuck this movie, fuck this movie, fuck this movie. This REALLY should be last. I’m amazed that it isn’t. The only reason that it is not is because I actually think that Jackie Earle Haley made for a pretty creepy Freddy. Literally everything else is terrible. They made classic scenes bloodless, lifeless, and boring as all Hell. I have never zoned out in a movie that I was looking forward to more than this one. Truly horrible, basically tied for last for being a boring waste of my life.
Left Hand Path

A Nightmare On Elm Street 5: The Dream Child - Studio meddling really fucked this movie. Every interesting kill was butchered (no pun intended) and made far more tame for God knows what reason. I know that they rushed this one out less than a year after 4, but damn they should have taken their time with this one. This has the interesting time-lapse sequence, but not much else for me here.
6Morbid Saint
Spectrum of Death

A Nightmare On Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge - This is one that was filmed before they really knew what the hell they were doing with the series. The rules of the universe are very flimsy here and the characters are marginally interesting. I really like that it is an LGBT horror movie, but so much about it just doesn’t make any sense, nor fit in with the rest of the series that I usually skip this one. It still has a couple of freaky scenes though (infamous transformation sequence as well as the pool party scene even if it doesn’t make any sense).
5Morbid Angel
Altars of Madness

A Nightmare On Elm Street 4: The Dream Master - Ok, so this is the first one on my list that I don’t absolutely love. The beginning is pretty cool, but the absence of Patricia Arquette is pretty noticeable (the actors even stated that they had a hard time adjusting) and the story makes a little bit less sense. Considering that he’s already killed the Elm Street kids partially into this, why is he murdering this new group? Anyway, this has the cockroach scene which is one of the most disgusting sequences in the series so major points for that. Freddy is a little bit too goofy for my liking here, but Robert kills it, like always. A fun time, but the flaws still bother me.
4Demolition Hammer
Epidemic of Violence

Freddy Vs Jason: Half a Freddy film, I know, but it still belongs here. Robert Englund rules in this, and this is actually one of the better films in either franchise. It’s not really all that scary, but it makes for a great drinking game and for a monster mash up movie, this is way better than it deserves to be. I shamelessly watch this one all of the time.
None So Vile

Wes Craven’s New Nightmare - I really wish I could put all three movies at #1 because I have such an intense love for all of them. This is barely below the original, and that is truly saying something. The original meta-horror film (as far as I know) and the one that made Freddy truly terrifying again for the first time since the third one, and arguably the original.
Consuming Impulse

A Nightmare On Elm Street - The one that started it all. This movie scared the living shit out of me when I was a kid, and still brings back some of those memories no matter how many times I watch it. This is one of the most creative horror films of all time, and it’s basically impossible to overstate its influence on horror. Incredible atmosphere, set pieces, and glorious 80s cheese. This also introduced my absolute favorite horror movie villain and final girl of all time in one movie. A+++
Scream Bloody Gore

A Nightmare On Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors - I know it’s controversial not to put the original first, but this is like the Terminator 2 of horror films. Heather Langenkamp is back as Nancy (by far my favorite final girl), John Saxon is back, dream-Freddy is back, and every new character is fucking awesome. The mental hospital setting for this makes for the perfect environment for this kind of film. Every kill here rules (yeah, even the Wizard Master), as do the designs of each dream sequence. This is also the absolute perfect balance of terrifying and funny Freddy. Also, who could forget the glorious Dokken? No one will replace Nancy for me as the perfect final girl, but Patricia Arquette comes damn close. “WELCOME TO PRIME TIME, BITCH!”
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