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The Umbrella Genre Contest Round 5: Vintage Umbrella

2 out and 14 in.
1Frederic Chopin
Scherzo No.2, Op.31

The rules are simple:

1.Link a song via YouTube, Spotify, Soundcloud, Bandcamp, DailyMotion, Vimeo... or whatever you like as long as I don't have to download something.

2. The genre this round is orchestral. Medieval, Baroque, Classical, Romantic, Modern, Contemporary, and Orchestral film soundtrack all work, whatever you like, BUT only 1 movement. Don't cheap out with something like baroque pop or rock with a violin section or your score will suffer. If you recommend me an entire symphony or something, I'll only listen to the first movement, so don't bother. Also please LINK your choice since you may not want me to pick an orchestra you think did the piece poorly.

3. Aim to impress me with what you pick, since I'm rating these.

4. If I know the song already, I'll tell you to pick something new, otherwise you're good.

5. I'm going to start each new round every Thursday night, so if you're late, you're out.

***The winner can recommend me whatever album blah blah you know***
The Fresh Sum

“My Mind Is An Avalanche” (JustJoe.)

This sounds very post punk revival, which is an era I’m not in love with. Okay, I like The White Stripes and every song I’ve heard by Yeah Yeah Yeahs was pretty great and I like LCD Soundsystem, though that’s like dance punk, right? Eh Crossover..., but this is more like Killers brand post punk revival. The guitar is alright, the bass is boring, and the drums are also boring. Wait the bass is starting to do something! So this song really drags on, which could’ve worked if the first part of the song grabbed me, which it didn’t.

2.9/5 PASSED!

“Zero” (Sinternet)

Well, I already like chaotic noise rock, should be a safe choice. So far the guitar reminds me of a spiral. Hmmm this isn’t as noisy as other songs I’ve heard by them actually. Weird. I feel like you would’ve impressed me more if you picked something less cutesy, and more crazy, like their song “The Hive.” I REALLY like that one. That would’ve done amazingly. Great bass though here.

3.5/5 PASSED
4Deep Turtle
There's a Vomitsprinkler in My Liverriver

“Bay Zutus/Cardiako/IIM” (AlexanderMR)

Bass is top notch, the drums are super fun, and wow those vocals are terrifying, but not like a metal way (which is good since extreme metal isn’t my thing.) I can dig some hardcore punk though. Damn this is math rock, isn’t it? Not bad. That guitar just won’t quit. I could dance like an asshole to this in the right setting. Hmmm that one part was random. WAIT THERE’S VOCALS? In the last minute too… interesting. Yeah this rules.

4.2/5 PASSED!
5Peter Gabriel

“The Rhythm of the Heat” (neekafat)

Well, so far this sounds very minimalistic. His whole world music thing is okay. It never worked as well as let’s say… Talking Heads. It’s kinda epic though and I can appreciate theatrical songs. Is this even rock music though? Like where’s the guitar? I’m trying to be lenient, but while this would’ve worked for both the pop and folk rounds, this is a far cry from rock. You’re lucky this is good otherwise you’d be an easy out for not following the theme.

3.8/5-1 = 2.8/5 (No guitar or bass in the entire song, the theme was rock dude.) PASSED!
6King Crimson
Larks' Tongues in Aspic

“Larks' Tongues in Aspic, Part One” (Frippertronics)

Safe choice since I already like King Crimson. This is jingly as fuck and the violins are tense so far. Goddamn this is 13 minutes! Fripp you’re a madman! More great bass. Always a plus and that guitar is show-offy as fuck, but in a good way. I like some guitar wankery, I can’t lie, as long as it’s passionately played. None of that Rush robotic stuff. Is this mostly a jam? Hmmm. Long violin solo hmmm. Holy shit half of this song is a violin solo. A good one though. Hmmm this song feels more like a suite of multiple songs than 1 cohesive piece honestly. Oh wait, this is prog rock, of course it does.

3.9/5 PASSED!
7Man Man
Six Demon Bag

“Black Mission Goggles” (SandwichBubble)

These vocals make me think of the camp songs we’d sing back when I went to and worked at this sleepaway camp for some reason. Nice organ. This is pretty varied, but I don’t really love it for some reason. I feel like it’s missing something essential to my enjoyment of music, but I can’t quite place it.

3.1/5 PASSED!
8Uriah Heep
Very 'eavy... Very 'umble

“Gypsy” (Grimlin)

Ah 70s hard rock, such a simple genre, yet actually a pretty decent one. Bland vocals though. The guitar holds my interest and the keys are pretty wild in a way that works. The bass and drums kinda do nothing special though. I guess you can’t have it all, right? If the guitar is just going to play the same riff over and over during the key solo, shouldn’t it be mixed lower so the keys can shine? Also whoa it went into space out of nowhere. Nice ending solo, this was good enough.

3.3/5 PASSED!
9Bullets And Octane
The Revelry

"Pirates" (TheSpirit)

Shortest song yet, and it makes me think of modern heavy metal/hard rock type stuff. This is fine. It’s very simple and does little stand out in the sea of rock music out there honestly. Sounds very radio friendly or something.

2.5/5 FAILED!

“Big Dick” (ZombieToyDuck)
Wow that bassline and those vocals. Are you sure this isn’t a Minutemen song? Funky bassline and pumped up drums that work super well. Not much to say about this, but it’s great.

4/5+0.5=4.5/5 ROUND WINNER (Handicap of +0.5 next round)
11Just Mustard

“Pigs” (Aberf)

Well this one sure sounds cataclysmic. The bass is prominent and hard to take my focus off of and her vocals are ethereal as fuck. It’s pretty cool actually, though I can’t say I’m in love with it. The end is the best part. Y’know with all of that distortion.

3.4/5 PASSED!
Penis Envy

“Bata Motel” (bgillesp)

I like her voice! Very punky. I swear I’ve hard Crass songs before, but at the same time her voice isn’t familiar at all. And yet again good bass! Haha. She sounds so fancy. The drums are so light, but in a good way.

13The Grifters
One Sock Missing

“She Blows Blasts of Static“ (NeroCorleone80)

Very indie and noisy. Fun fact, Nero’s the one who rec’d me Bonsai Superstar, which is the album I used as an example for my taste in rock for this round haha. The guitar is so raw and the the vocals are so chanty. I thought I’d like this more from the beginning, but I’m losing my interest in it as it comes to a close. Wait, that distorted solo helps. It’s no Brainiac, but it does strike a similar nerve...

3.7/5 PASSED!
A Dream In Static

“Crater” (VuvuzelaBzz)

Prog metal, eh? Well the bass is up to par, but I can’t say I really like those vocals. I find this pretty boring…Man if only you knew that I really didn’t like this kinda music. Those pained screamy vocals aren’t working for me here either.

2.3/5 FAILED!
15The Gun Club
Fire of Love

"She's Like Heroin to Me" (Pheromone)

Fun guitar. This gives me cowpunk vibes ooh. Yeah, this is good. Good bass, vocals that make me wanna dance haha, and a lot of energy. Simple and effective!

4.1/5 PASSED!
16Dir En Grey

“Ware, Yami Tote” (RikRoach7)

More prog metal, oh no. But wait this one’s kinda pretty so far. Damn most songs chosen so far have been bassy as fuck, haha you guys must’ve picked bassy tracks on purpose based on my previous comments. The acoustic guitar is kind of nice. I’m tired and this is pretty relaxing. Much better than other prog metal track. Still only okay though.

3.1/5 PASSED!
End Hits

“Five Corporations” (Minushuman24)

Very punky. The guitar is cool and the bass is good enough. Can’t say I love it, but it’s far from bad.

3.3/5 PASSED!
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