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All MCU Bullshit Rated

all of it. except for whichever ones i dont want. cuz 420blzitfgt and bored.
1Kaitlyn Aurelia Smith

Iron Man: D-

The Bones: i'm one of the few people that doesn't mind looking at gwenyth paltrow's face. this was also before the thought of robert downie jr. made you feel nauseous. thats about it tho.

the flops: i mean for the time it was pretty average but compared to the state of the mcu today its not that terrible
Gypsys, Tramps & Thieves

The Incredible Hulk: C

the bones: Tim Roth and Liv Tyler make this a 5/5

the flops: norton makes it a 3/5
3Mount Kimbie
Love What Survives

Iron Man 2: D

the bones: this is the best one XD

the flops: it still sucks
Miami Garden Club

Thor: F

the bones: omg natalie portman!

the flops: only a movie of this calibre could make natalie portman so shit. possibly least memorable super hero movie of all time??? "hold my beer" says director Alan Taylor
59 Lazy 9

Captain America: C+

the bones: i mean the hulk movie basically doesnt even count so how the fuck your best movie to date is a captain america origin story? cap is a boyscout patriotic little-man syndrome suffering super soldier with conservative values and an american flag for a costume... he makes superman look like a fucking edgelord in comparison.

the flops: my jaw flopping open that someone somehow made a tolerable movie about captain america
69 Lazy 9

The Avengers: C-

the bones: mark ruffalo is good banner. loki is okay especially when hulk is smashing him like a limp fish. good like, first superhero team up attempt (i guess)

the flops: the entire rest of the cast
7Acid Pauli

Iron Man 3: F-

the flops: this movie. holy fucking shit. it takes a special kind of retard to take the talents of ben kingsley and guy pierce and make them both insufferable.
As She Fell Through the Stars

Thor 2: F

the bones: no one thought a more forgettable comic book adventure could be made, but alan taylor stepped up to the plate

the flops: nobody actually wanted to see an even worse thor movie
Together by the Spirit Tree

The Winter Soldier: C+

the bones: wait, you're telling me Captain America movies are still the least awful part of the MCU somehow?

the flops: the leaper portrayal wasn't nearly offensive enough, falcon is in it, black widow is in it.
The Upper Hand

Guardians of the Galaxy: B-

the bones: oh wow marvel is getting edgy boys. hot alien babes. funny tree. funny other aliens. chris pratt. the hilarious mockery of the nova corps. the collector is hot.

the flops: stale antagonist, we havent seen gamora or nebulas boobs yet

Age of Ultron: F-

the bones: the movie that broke douchelord Joss Whedons soul. god bless. Ultron chopping Klaw's arm off.

the flops: they actually altered comic continuity so they could abuse classic characters scarlet witch and quicksilver. unforgivable.
12Andrew Applepie
Two Suns

Ant-man: C

the bones: kind of funny and paul rudd is bae also evangeline is also bae

the flops: the dude who plays yellow jacket is a fucking cuck, has absolutely zero replay value.
Astrocolor II

Civil War: F

the bones: watching iron man get the fucking shit kicked out of him was glorious. watching war machine get cripple-jimmied was glorious.

the flops: was basically winter soldier extreme avengement edition. worst villain of all time. retarded stakes. illogical character motivations. black widow, hawkeye, iron man, hawkeyes dumbass fucking family are in it. child extortion. sexy aunt may. tom hollands disappearing chin mole. the worst colour pallet of all time, only rivaled by all the other marvel films except guardians of the galaxy. black panthers suit.
14Attica Blues
Test. Don't Test

Doctor Strange: C-

the bones: Mads nearly saves this movie by being gorgoeus and amazing constantly all the time and rachel mcadams would give the film some hot points if it werent for the fact that her cheek mole has evolved into a fucking tumour

the flops: the ancient one lmao. as for Strange himself...no one actually wanted you to create an even more insufferable character portrayal than iron man, thor, black widow, hawkeye, or falcon.
Before Time Altered Them

Guardians 2: B-

the bones: more hot psycho alien babes. pretty colors. funny trees and rodents. the original guardians.

the flops: even less engaging antagonist, and anti-climactic reveal. still no alien boobs.
16Gacha Bakradze
We Must Be Woods

Homecoming: F

the bones: aunt may apparently XD. the vulture suit was neat. danny glover being the prowler is a nice nod.

the flops: the irony of keaton being bird- i mean the vulture was lost on the fact that this film was so terrible even keaton should be ashamed of it. the entire movie is spider-man escalating low-stakes crimes into terrible disasters that nearly kill tonnes of people and associating with young irrelevent women who are not mary jane (no she is not actually mj) or gwen that no one cares about, a fat nerd, and the worlds least intimidating bully of all time. oh, also iron man is fucking in this. alot.
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