Review Summary: A serious review for a serious album.
The year is 2005, British pop culture has just hit a new low with recycled trash repeatedly making number one spot in the charts and Crazy Frog is the new trendy phenomenon hitting your stores this week. Originating as an annoying ringtone, the Annoying Thing as it was then known soon became a topseller and the ruthless money making company behind it began to realise its potential. A professional designer was hired to give the sound a ‘face’ and the Crazy Frog was born. After being ruthlessly neutered in order to appeal to a wider audience the Frog shot to fame in the charts with the single
Axel F; a single that somehow displaced Oasis off of the top spot and held it for 4 weeks.It was the success of this single that lead to the inevitable album titled
Crazy Frog Presents Crazy Hits.
There is a famous line in the Arctic Monkey’s song
A Certain Romance that goes “there’s only music so that there is new ringtones”. Better monikers for the modern music scene are few and far apart and in this instance possibly nonexistent altogether. Crazy Frog has gone from being a fairly comedic ringtone into some sort of pop sensation...in order to sell more ringtones. This mantra exploited by the makers of Crazy Frog seems nonsensical and yet it exists even today with belligerent youths blaring the latest ‘must have’ tune from their phones in crowded streets, at the back of busses or anywhere else they deem (un)worthy. The hapless British public (and for that matter the Australian and American masses as well) seem either oblivious to this most blatant of marketing schemes, or simply do not care as long as they are seen to have ‘trendy’ tunes for their portable devices.
As far as any emotional connections and musical quality goes, it is pretty evident that this has nothing of note. The bland throwaway pop that supports the frogs vocals offers nothing of real musical note, instead relying on big beats to appeal to its target audience. The infuriating ‘vocal’ performance by the frog is similar in every song and pretty much destroys all musical value this cheese-fest had to begin with. Tracks such as
1001 Nights and
Magic Melody are based on pretty poor dance music to start with, but when the frog is incorporated the tracks become nigh on unbearable. The somewhat Arabian style music in the former is actually not that bad on its own, and is evidently intended as relaxing. However the creator of the track clearly didn’t account for the extent of which the vocals would be used, as the frogs whines are anything but calming. Some tracks do somehow escape being overrun by the frogs croaks.
Don’t You Want Me and
Wonderland display a minimalist approach from the frog and would in fact be standout tracks for this very reason if they didn’t suck. It seems that even when the frog isn’t there to destroy the music, the tracks are so poorly executed that his presence is almost missed.
Despite all this criticism, all the stale beats and horrific “ding ding ding” vocals there actually remains an underlying layer of tolerable music. If the vocals can be ignored, in places this album could be passable. Some of actual tunes such as
Axel F and
Popcorn are extremely danceable and its only the fact that the frog has taken perfectly good dance tunes and mutilated them in the name of ‘music’ that is the problem with this album. However even a few adequate dance tracks are not enough to save this album from the damning verdict it deserves and this album has no place in the music collection of anyone above the age of ten.
Crazy Frog is the epitome of all that is wrong in music today. Created purely for financial gain by a ruthless ringtone company, this strange mix of cheesy dance euphoria and disastrous euro pop is made even worse by the eponymous star of the show. Hopping in and out at random intervals, the frogs trademark noise is usually too overbearing, making the actual music on offer even harder to swallow. Whilst all of this is true, the music is, in the broadest sense, fun.
Crazy Frog Presents Crazy Hits is perfectly inoffensive and a good album to get for kids under the age of 10. Whether it is the bass heavy dance tracks or the ambiance infused euro pop, children will love the directness of the music, and will not realise how truly annoying the host is. All in all, unless you are under the age of ten or have suffered a frontal lobotomy in the past I advise you to steer clear of this album.
Recommended Tracks
Axel F
Popcorn
Overall 0.5 Awful
