Maybe we (read: I) should make a humor test that new and current users need to pass in order to be allowed into the Pit.
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In all honesty though, I can't stress enough that this is a problem purely on the user end - some people are petty and pimple-faced losers who desperately would want to take mx's advice (get girlfriends, excel at sports, etc) but can't so they compensate by googling ways to hack vB. They do it because they want to stir up a reaction, and we react because it negatively effects a website we enjoy using. There's really no way to stop any of this, except maybe for some people to realize there's a world outside of the internet, and that the internet nor the people populating it owes them jack sh!t.