Let's talk about Mother's Day
 

I don't even remember the last time I got my mom a card for mother's day.

"You're the best Mom ever!"

"Anyone would be lucky to have you as a mother!"

All this trite Hallmark bullshit. I'm a very quantitative person. I'm empirical, I like to look at the data. I don't run with the crowd but instead go where facts lead me. And let me observe here that these comments, which can be found in a number of greeting cards along with similar bullshit, have both an objective and a subjective element.

The objective element is this: Propositions can be disproven easily by counterexample. It's the easiest and most straightforward way of disproving an argument. In this case, if I can find even one mother on earth who is better at being a mother than my mother, then the entire proposition is disproven.

The subjective element is this: Even if my mom is such a great mother that you could write books or make movies about her, it's still a subjective experience that has no empirical weight to it whatsoever. It's not like every woman has had a chance to be my mother and I can carefully distinguish between them. But even that is a bad example because it would still rely on a subjective experience.

To me, one of the highest things that I value in a person and for myself is honesty. To give my mother a card at mother's day saying she is the greatest mother ever is a complete lie, and would make me a liar to send it. What would I do if she says, "Oh, Flushy, do you really mean that?" "Nope, ma. Don't be an idiot. All the greeting cards say the same crap and it's all bullshit!" Do you know how awkward that would be? Almost as much as losing the one thing I'll always have: The reputation of an honest man.

Maybe I should design my own card and print from home. "Mom, you're in the top half of mothers, of which I can be quite sure. It's quite plausible at least 50% of mothers have either abandoned their kids, sold them for sex, or killed them. You didn't do any of those to me, Happy Mother's Day!"

Oh wait, that would defeat the whole purpose of a special holiday to honor your mother.

Or how about, "Mom, you're better than average of all mothers! Happy Mother's Day!"

Until Hallmark starts printing something on the card I can actually agree with, I won't send them to people.

Also Father's Day, Grandparent's Day, on and on and on. Sentimental bullshit is all it is.

Then the long poems they all have on them. All the lovey-dovey bullshit. I wouldn't say those things about anyone but my cat, who I say the most beautiful things to everyday. I love him with my life. But he's an animal. People say lovey-dovey shit to children too. "Did da little baby make a poopy? Did he poopy? Poopy poo! Poopy poo!"

But who says this fake shit to people in real life? I remember reading the love letters of Richard and Pat Nixon and I thought, what sentimental crap! But hey, you want to know which president really loved his wife and nothing foul was happening, it was Richard Nixon! He may have been a shady politician but he was faithful to Pat for all the years they were married.

if i was your mum i would have offed myself long ago

xDD

"My own son doesn't even spend 2 dollars on a mother's day card for me...goodbye cruel world"

BOOM HEADSHOT

[QUOTE=Sinternet;19303573]if i was your mum i would have offed myself long ago[/QUOTE]

Yeah, she has other children. Better to live them and patiently suffer the embarrassment

[QUOTE=Aiwaz;19303574]xDD

"My own son doesn't even spend 2 dollars on a mother's day card for me...goodbye cruel world"

BOOM HEADSHOT[/QUOTE]

Because it's bullshit filled with lies. Trust me, I have two dollars in the bank. I have a lot more than two dollars. But why would I spend my money on a lie? If I wanted to lie to people, I would lie to their face for free. Oh, but I do call her on Mother's Day. That's pretty nice isn't it?

I don't think you understand how much people appreciate things like that. If you're older than 14 then I don't really know how to react to you anymore.

It's a bunch of crap and lies. Why lie to someone? Oh Flushy boy, am I the best mother ever? Fuck no, but it doesn't mean I don't love you.

My mom is dad so im good to go

Damn sorry bro

Yep, transsexualism was so rare back in the day. It's really exploded in recent years.

I do not know why but i do not like that day


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