[QUOTE=JohnnyT]I cant blame you. Last year i was at my lowest. I was always depressed and mad. It was terrible, but it took time for me to get better. My friends helped a lot. They help me find myself again. But you WILL find somebody. I think you should take a break from girls for a month or so and get everything up and running. Ah i know that feel of "love fix" it sucks. The only thing that helped me through it was music and friends. I have given up on my family mostly. Keep standing dude.[/QUOTE]

My friends are being supportive, and i've been hiding in music so much. Songs i didn't understand now have a meaning thats so personal now...I'm taking breaks from girls for a long time, i feel. I can't trust a girl like that, not right now anyway. This has really hit me side-on so hard and it was so out the blue that its torn my views of everything that means something in my life...I'm questioning everything, and my head doesn't want me to stop questioning it all. I'm trying so hard to forget it, and with my friends its mostly gone. When i'm alone though, I have time to think...Time is a dangerous thing.

[QUOTE=Linkinbassist]My friends are being supportive, and i've been hiding in music so much. Songs i didn't understand now have a meaning thats so personal now...I'm taking breaks from girls for a long time, i feel. I can't trust a girl like that, not right now anyway. This has really hit me side-on so hard and it was so out the blue that its torn my views of everything that means something in my life...I'm questioning everything, and my head doesn't want me to stop questioning it all. I'm trying so hard to forget it, and with my friends its mostly gone. When i'm alone though, I have time to think...Time is a dangerous thing.[/QUOTE]


I really hate thinking. When im alone and even just doing something my mind wanders and it bugs the hell out of me. I have felt ur pain before. Thats why i really dont like having gf's. There just somthing i have to worry about.

[QUOTE=JohnnyT]I really hate thinking. When im alone and even just doing something my mind wanders and it bugs the hell out of me. I have felt ur pain before. Thats why i really dont like having gf's. There just somthing i have to worry about.[/QUOTE]

true, its another thing to worry for, but i've seen how the people around me buzz on having a partner who is devoted to them and whom they are devoted to. I envy them...so much.

[QUOTE=JohnnyT]I really hate thinking. When im alone and even just doing something [B]my mind wanders[/B] and it bugs the hell out of me. I have felt ur pain before. Thats why i really dont like having gf's. There just somthing i have to worry about.[/QUOTE]

I am in that boat right now. I am paraniod. It sucks. But I know that there is nothing to be concerned about. Oh well.

How goes it tonight L&R?

[QUOTE=Linkinbassist]true, its another thing to worry for, but i've seen how the people around me buzz on having a partner who is devoted to them and whom they are devoted to. I envy them...so much.[/QUOTE]



Ah you will find somebody. Some people sooner than later. Keep your head up. Everything will be find in the end. I also find having a gf another proirority. Its nice to have one but idk, sometimes it just sucks.

[QUOTE=pohl_56]I am in that boat right now. I am paraniod. It sucks. But I know that there is nothing to be concerned about. Oh well.

How goes it tonight L&R?[/QUOTE]


That happens to me everday. It bugs me soooooooo much.

[QUOTE=JohnnyT]Ah you will find somebody. Some people sooner than later. Keep your head up. Everything will be find in the end. I also find having a gf another proirority. Its nice to have one but idk, sometimes it just sucks.[/QUOTE]

I kinda have to, otherwise i'll fall into a bout of depression again...Again, something i hate.

[QUOTE=JohnnyT]Dont fall there. Its hard to get out. Ive been there. Stay strong and drink lots of tea.

Relax. I know its hard to do, but try.[/QUOTE]

I keep myself busy with social stimulation...If i relax, i think. If i think, i get depressed.

[QUOTE=Linkinbassist]I keep myself busy with social stimulation...If i relax, i think. If i think, i get depressed.[/QUOTE]


Good point. Dont think. Our mind can be a very amazing dangerous thing.

[QUOTE=JohnnyT]Good point. Dont think. Our mind can be a very amazing dangerous thing.[/QUOTE]

true, as i've found out over the last couple of days...

[QUOTE=Linkinbassist]I'm sick of trying to find someone who i feel doesn't even exist...[/QUOTE]

Have you considered that maybe it's time to revise the game plan?

[QUOTE=Linkinbassist]I crave the strings that go with a relationship...I want love, i'm sick of validating myself through myself. I've had to do it all my life. I just want something that all of my mates have; a Long-term, love-filled relationship. Its something i've been hunting for and waiting for and its just not happening...i'm sick of it, i really am.[/QUOTE]

Yeah, it's definately time to revise your game plan.

Think of it this way: what you're doing now doesn't work. Why keep doing it? Start trying to figure out what does work.

[QUOTE=Linkinbassist]I've had to stay positive all my life...Keep a straight face when **** goes down the pan with my friends and having to keep my family from crumbling whilst my dad goes out of the country with the army for months on end. since August last year, things have been going slowly downhill. My best friend of 5 years has moved up north, and whilst trying to come back down has ran into so many walls with people just not co-operating with her plight. I've stood back and watched my freinds tear each other apart from the inside. i thought things were on the up with this girl, i thought she was gonna be in it for the long run, and then boom, She turns around and holds up the 'no feelings at all' card. I'm failing subjects in college, and if things continue slipping like this i'm seriously going to have a nervous break down. My friends tell me i'm a great guy, that I (along with a couple of my single friends) deserve someone special. We stand around, we fill the search criteria and its just not happening for us. I'm just not all there with anything right now, this is one event from the straw that'll break this camels back...[/QUOTE]

If I can make a suggestion, put down your email address, and I'll be able to give you a much more indepth level of advice. Believe me, I've been in a lot of rough situations myself, and I've learned from friends and experience.

[QUOTE=Linkinbassist]true, its another thing to worry for, but i've seen how the people around me buzz on having a partner who is devoted to them and whom they are devoted to. I envy them...so much.[/QUOTE]

Don't compare yourself.

Do you want a quick idea? The next time you're at a bar or a party, take your drink and make your rounds across the whole area. Every group of girls you see, regardless of whether or not there's any guys with them, clink glasses with them and say "How's everyone doing tonight?" You get it? Like you're the host. It makes you look more social and important. After a while, you'll start to believe it.

Do this once or twice, then sit back and let people come to you.

[QUOTE=Steerpike]Have you considered that maybe it's time to revise the game plan?



Yeah, it's definately time to revise your game plan.

Think of it this way: what you're doing now doesn't work. Why keep doing it? Start trying to figure out what does work.



If I can make a suggestion, put down your email address, and I'll be able to give you a much more indepth level of advice. Believe me, I've been in a lot of rough situations myself, and I've learned from friends and experience.



Don't compare yourself.

Do you want a quick idea? The next time you're at a bar or a party, take your drink and make your rounds across the whole area. Every group of girls you see, regardless of whether or not there's any guys with them, clink glasses with them and say "How's everyone doing tonight?" You get it? Like you're the host. It makes you look more social and important. After a while, you'll start to believe it.

Do this once or twice, then sit back and let people come to you.[/QUOTE]

I don't have a game plan, that my problem methinks...My problem is that i get attached when i have even the slightest incling that its something worth holding on to. Its wierd, but its something i can't control cause its just too strong an urge...And many people know me around my local area, cause i play the host almost every day. And i compare myself a lot to a lot of people, again its a longstanding complex i have...I'm just not all there, really.

Not a real cry for help, more ... I guess I need to write my situation down somewhere, and here at least I have an audience.

I won't start from scratch, you can read some of the stuff that has happened to me in the 2004 L&R threads ;).

Situation as of now:

* I started dating a girl [P] in January 2005.
* In May 2005, I went abroad for the summer to work. I snogged / made out with another girl on the last day of work [it was only 4 days of returning home].
* I kissed yet another girl only 5 weeks later.
* In January 2006, I moved to another city to work there.
* Some days after moving, I told P about my wrong steps. Needless to say that she was pissed etc. When I came home the next weekend to patch things up, it was all happiness and butterflies again.
* In February 2006 [I think], I did .. some things with a girl I got to know in the city I worked in.
* A few weeks later, I broke up with my girlfriend because I was going away for a whole year and didn't want to f*ck everything over. Haha, I know there is a truckload of irony in that sentence.
* A week later we decided that we both didn't want to call it over so we're kind of in-between now. This means that when we are separated, we can give in to carnal pleasures but we must stay true otherwise.
* In April 2006, I went to Spain for an exchange semester.
* In July 2006, I'll come back home - maybe. Maybe I'll return to the city I was talking about before for work. There are girls who I befriended and/or could imagine getting closer to.
* In September 2006, I'm leaving home again, this time far far away.
* In December 2006, I will return home for good.

This is how it went, how it is and how it will most likely be.

I just can't figure out why I stepped astray these few times that I did because I'm happy with her.

There is this saying that goes "It's better to regret the things that you have done than the things that you haven't done." ... and to a great extent, I think that this is true.
But I don't feel all the same about relationships, I think.
Risking a good steady relationship for just another thrill is a thing that quite some people do [I've done it repeatedly], but in retrospect it was rarely worth it.

I guess I'm not asking for advice [although if you have some, I'll gladly read it] but rather asking ... are there more people out there who are as confused about so many things? Or do I just not know what I want out of life / relationships at the moment?

Advice- Next time a friend says "Want me to talk to her for you?" say no, say no, and threaten to kill him if he does.

heh, its not particular to any person in particular. but just in general.



-rashka-- maybe you should be kissing other girls? I dunno, I'm really tired, and cant read very well right now.\

Edit- I think it goes without saying that i mean "shouldnt"

Linkinbassist: I'm not sure how old you are... but I'm guessing teens. You need to stop worrying about being in a relationship... there is PLENTY of time. Seriously cheer up, having no girlfriend is not the end of the world. Just means you can devote your time and money into other things. You've got you whole life ahead of you mate, don't get hung up on women.
All of my friends are prettier and less socially awkward than me, and they are ALWAYS in lovely long term relationship with a guy they are totally in love with. Sometimes I get jealous but then others I just really don't care. I'm happy single, I'm happy in a relationship. There are positives and negatives to both. The sooner you realise that only YOU control your happiness the sooner you'll be happy with yourself. Now chin up :) It's not the end of the world.

[QUOTE=Bee Sharp]All of my friends are [B]prettier[/B] and less socially awkward than me[/QUOTE]


Opinion, also wrong.


:-*

[QUOTE=AG]Opinion, also wrong.


:-*[/QUOTE]
Well then there must be other reasons why they have more friends/boyriends and why people like them more than me.

[QUOTE=Bee Sharp]Well then there must be other reasons why they have more friends/boyriends and why people like them more than me.[/QUOTE]


I have it the same, sorta, Its probably that they're more outgoing or something like that, its makes them easier to like.. get to know, whithout [I]knowing[/I] them. I'm more quiet than my friends(and im really loud and outgoing, lol), and they kinda overshadow me, but its okay, and I have no idea where this is going, I'll edit when i remember. It had something to do with advice.

Edit- i think i remember now(sorry, i have my own problemos clogging my brain, lol), yeah, Its not that there better than you, its that there just more noticable, and easy accesable. It doesnt take effort to get to know them(no disservice to them, like i said, my friends are like that.) but yeah, thats baisically my point.

same problem. i am also an incredibly shy persons and people find me kinda annoying at times. i have become more outgoing in the past year but i am also voted as the most unstable person people know. i got drunk and tried to off myself almost twice in a row.

You guys should start drinking, and talking to random girls.

Then start to do it while you're not drunk.

been there done that. doesn't exactly work for me.

[QUOTE=The Fonz]I have it the same, sorta, Its probably that they're more outgoing or something like that, its makes them easier to like.. get to know, whithout [I]knowing[/I] them. I'm more quiet than my friends(and im really loud and outgoing, lol), and they kinda overshadow me, but its okay, and I have no idea where this is going, I'll edit when i remember. It had something to do with advice.

Edit- i think i remember now(sorry, i have my own problemos clogging my brain, lol), yeah, Its not that there better than you, its that there just more noticable, and easy accesable. It doesnt take effort to get to know them(no disservice to them, like i said, my friends are like that.) but yeah, thats baisically my point.[/QUOTE]
No way off. I think I'm the exact opposite... I'm bursting woth confidence and usually (but unintentionally) the centre of attention. I think I scare people off :-/

[QUOTE=AG]You guys should start drinking, and talking to random girls.

Then start to do it while you're not drunk.[/QUOTE]


I don't [I]do[/I] drinking, i would, but my school, school has become bitterly divided, so baisically, theres the edge kids, and the potheads/dunks/smokers. and its also very clique..y.

BUt yeah, just being around my friends has gotten me more outgoing.


[QUOTE=Bee Sharp]No way off. I think I'm the exact opposite... I'm bursting woth confidence and usually (but unintentionally) the centre of attention. I think I scare people off :-/[/QUOTE]


oh..... hm...ok... :upset: haha

[QUOTE=holy_roller99]same problem. i am also an incredibly shy persons and people find me kinda annoying at times. i have become more outgoing in the past year but i am also voted as the most unstable person people know. i got drunk and tried to off myself almost twice in a row.[/QUOTE]
I have the same problem, and I'm in the process of fixing it. It's not as hard as it seems at first. Just force yourself to talk more when you're around people.

Right now, I've been talking to tons of girls through MSN/Myspace/phone just 'cause I am trying to get over my shyness. I'm happier than ever, and proud of myself for it. This weekend, I'm meeting up with these three girls I met on Myspace, so now I'm worried about being nervous and shy in person. Everyone I've ever known has liked me, so I doubt I will have any problems.

So maybe you guys should just do what I'm doing. Just talk to as many people as you possibly can, whether it's on the internet, phone, or in person. I'm already much more outgoing and open, and I've only been doing this for about a week.

Oh, and I don't drink, so drinking is something you must do in order to let yourself open up. I'm actually embarassed around people I've drank with. You just have to have the will to change yourself, you don't need drinks or drugs or anything.



Anyways... Is someone still a virgin if they've recieved or given oral sex?

[QUOTE=Wizard.]



Anyways... Is someone still a virgin if they've recieved or given oral sex?[/QUOTE]


I hope so, but really, its justa matter of opinion.

[QUOTE=The Fonz]I hope so, but really, its justa matter of opinion.[/QUOTE]
So there's no "technical" answer? :/

[QUOTE=Wizard.]So there's no "technical" answer? :/[/QUOTE]


I'm sure, if you wantto go by a dictionary, yes, that does make you still a virgin, but, as far as peoples opinions, and stuff that like, religion perhaps, It all depends on the individual, i suppose.

This was discussed awhile back.

I believe the consensus was that unless a girl's hymen is broken by intercourse she's considered a virgin.

[QUOTE=Chaindrive]This was discussed awhile back.

I believe the consensus was that unless a girl's hymen is broken by intercourse she's considered a virgin.[/QUOTE]


but that can happen in sports, masturbation, etc. so like.. eh.

I was in a really bad mood, earlier, but i went for a walk, went to the conviece store, and got cheered up. Later though, i might have another bout of :upset:itis

Which is why I specified "intercourse".

I'm sorry you're sad.

[QUOTE=Chaindrive]Which is why I specified "intercourse".

I'm sorry you're sad.[/QUOTE]


yeahhh,, i getchaa,

[QUOTE=Chaindrive]This was discussed awhile back.

I believe the consensus was that unless a girl's hymen is broken by intercourse she's considered a virgin.[/QUOTE]
Uhh, but couldn't the hymen be broken by other things? Like the Fonz said, masturbation. I mean, fingers would do the same damage as a penis would... what's the difference?

Okay guys, did I write my explanation in greek?

Only if the hymen is broken by intercourse does she lose her virginity.

and if she breaks it before.. than has intercourse.....

Still a virgin until intercourse.

Alright then. That's a much simpler explanation, lol. I don't feel as guilty now. =]

I'm sorry, I'm done being argumentative.

Edit- whatd you do?

Ok so im with the most beautifull, intelligent girl i could ever imagine to have as a girlfriend. i spent all today at her house, met her mum and dad, offered me to stay for dinner but i decided to leave..

We'v liked each over for about 6 months and told each other over msn we did, but struggled to talk in person. then about 4 weeks ago at a party i was a little drunk and well the rest is history, and wer together.

Now the point of this post is, her parents know about our relationship, my brother knows, and my dad knows (my mum and dad is seperated), but i can't tell my mum.

Im her youngest, shes a little protective and she always tells my family im not intrested in girls when they ask me if i have a girlfriend.. yeah i know embarresing, so im not sure how shed take to the idea of me having a proper girlfriend...

So im asking whether i should keep it a secret for a while, or tell her now?
and if i should tell her how should i do it?

Oh and im 14 years old by the way shes 15...

[QUOTE=The Fonz]Edit- whatd you do?[/QUOTE]
If you saw my post yesterday, my best friend has a massive crush on me and wanted me to take her virginity, and I was unsure about it. I didn't though, but we did other stuff, so I was just wondering if she was technically still a virgin or not. She still wants me to 'the one', in her words. I'll just avoid it until I'm sure if I want to or not.

[QUOTE=Readaz]Ok so im with the most beautifull, intelligent girl i could ever imagine to have as a girlfriend. i spent all today at her house, met her mum and dad, offered me to stay for dinner but i decided to leave..

We'v liked each over for about 6 months and told each other over msn we did, but struggled to talk in person. then about 4 weeks ago at a party i was a little drunk and well the rest is history, and wer together.

Now the point of this post is, her parents know about our relationship, my brother knows, and my dad knows (my mum and dad is seperated), but i can't tell my mum.

Im her youngest, shes a little protective and she always tells my family im not intrested in girls when they ask me if i have a girlfriend.. yeah i know embarresing, so im not sure how shed take to the idea of me having a proper girlfriend...

So im asking whether i should keep it a secret for a while, or tell her now?
and if i should tell her how should i do it?

Oh and im 14 years old by the way shes 15...[/QUOTE]
Just tell her, she'll deal with it. It shouldn't really bea problem. She's just trying to hold you back, because you're her "little boy" and she will always see you like that.

[QUOTE]Just tell her, she'll deal with it. It shouldn't really bea problem. She's just trying to hold you back, because you're her "little boy" and she will always see you like that.[/QUOTE]

Well, i dont want her to freak out, because right now she gives me lifts to her village when i want to go (i tell her im meeting a friend), and i dont want her to refuse to take me if i tell her.

[QUOTE=Readaz]Well, i dont want her to freak out, because right now she gives me lifts to her village when i want to go (i tell her im meeting a friend), and i dont want her to refuse to take me if i tell her.[/QUOTE]
I really doubt your mother will do that. If she has any brains at all, she'll just let you be, but she'll probably want to meet the girl and everything. She might actually be more leanient on you. My mother was actually proud of me when I got my first girlfriend, and I thought she'd freak out badly, just like you think of your mom.

[QUOTE=Jadeybeta]who is Jom? but hi anyway :)[/QUOTE]
Jom=Anti-Hero

You've not been around much since he got his name changed.

ps: I think I got the name right.. something similar anyways.