[QUOTE=Junooni]That's exactly what I was hoping to be able to do, because I don't really want much more than a really good friend and someone I can really trust out of this relationship, not so interested in sex and crap, that's useless junk right now.[/QUOTE]

Go with the flow and just dont jeopardise your friendship by making it too weird for her.

Yeah, that's one thing I definitely DON'T want to do, which is why I'm planning on making it as casual as possible.

[QUOTE=Steerpike]I've never smoked once in my life, nor have I ever taken narcotics, though I will admit that I considered weed for a time before dismissing it as just another timewaster.

The only times I ever drank were during the holidays with my family until last November when I turned 21. And even now, I only drink on weekends and very lightly. I'm always the designated driver.

I'm also a virgin. Partly because I spent my life as a self-imposed pariah, but also because I came to the decision that casual sex really isn't for me, I prefer to wait until I've found a woman whom I would consider long-term relationship material.

I was raised from day one to believe that whenever you take an action, you must be prepared to accept the consequences.[/QUOTE]

I can respect this. I like your attitude.

I've smoked pot a couple times. Didn't see the big deal in it. So I don't do it anymore. I drink sometimes, but never to get drunk.

Lacking in the virgin department though. Lost it a year ago. (i'm 18)

I actually regret doing it with someone I now currently hate, though. :-/

[QUOTE=Chaindrive]Hi, Jay and Adnan.

I'm worthless here, tonight.[/QUOTE]

Hey kimmie... Any more heated arguements outside the forum?

Nope.

We usually only get into the heated stuff when we're face to face or on the phone. Except for yesterday. It was entertaining for everyone if nothing else.

I missed it. :upset:

It's still there for posterity's sake. Jom deleted it all, then undeleted. I think for entertainment value.

No one was around then, though.

Not really... the posts... are... still there... just look... for... the... ellipses... lots and lots... of ellipses...

...

...

...

[quote=Chaindrive]Jom deleted it all, then undeleted. I think for entertainment value.[/quote]

There's nothing I find more entertaining than seeing people squirm.

I'm not a very good person :-$

:lol:

If you give me the hiccups I'm so killing you.........................

"Hic".......................

What are you going to do, pull my hair? Throw some cacti at me?

I'll pull your hair first. And, if that doesn't work, cacti is the answer. Ocotillo will getcha.

[QUOTE=Junooni]That's exactly what I was hoping to be able to do, because I don't really want much more than a really good friend and someone I can really trust out of this relationship, not so interested in sex and crap, that's useless junk right now.[/QUOTE]

man the only people who say they aren't interested in sex are the ones who haven't ever had really really really really amazing sex

of course, i should preface that with the fact that i am a fine example of a metrosexual gentleman who has more good friends who are girls than guys

[QUOTE=Eggo][B]man the only people who say they aren't interested in sex are the ones who haven't ever had really really really really amazing sex[/B]

of course, i should preface that with the fact that i am a fine example of a metrosexual gentleman who has more good friends who are girls than guys[/QUOTE]


He got me on that one. Sex before marriage is a sin in Islam, and I'm Muslim.

hinduwned ^[U]*[/U]^

:lol:

my girlfriend and I of nearly 3 years have been having problems for a while now. There have been problems between her and my family from day one and that bothers me a lot. I also see that she's made a little attempt to gain a better relationship with my family... but the damage has been done I guess.. well anyway we have problems and we seemingly fight about something at least once a week. I find myself very attracted to someone in one of my classes. I would never cheat on my girlfriend because thats not me... but my girlfriend and I always talk about fixing things... and sometimes things are fine for a little while.. but we always fall back into the same pattern. I feel so lost I don't know what to think about all this. It's just that everything feels so out of my control I don't know what to do. I love my girlfriend a lot, it's just that things get so bad sometimes and she says she loves me more than anything and that she wants to get married one day to me... but things get so bad.... ughh i dunno anyone have any advice they can lend me? I'm so stressed about everything in my life, school, work, money, family, girlfriend... etc. I feel like I'm going to have a heart attack before I'm 25 :(

If you're sure you and she love each other, then it may be just a bad habit you both have gotten into with the fighting. You can break the bad habit if you want to bad enough.

[QUOTE=Eggo]hinduwned ^[U]*[/U]^[/QUOTE]
That made me laugh so hard.

I know; it did me, too.

[QUOTE=Eggo]man the only people who say they aren't interested in sex are the ones who haven't ever had really really really really amazing sex

of course, i should preface that with the fact that i am a fine example of a metrosexual gentleman who has more good friends who are girls than guys[/QUOTE]
True. But, sex can change things for the worst in some situations.

[QUOTE=anarchist/prostitute]my girlfriend and I of nearly 3 years have been having problems for a while now. There have been problems between her and my family from day one and that bothers me a lot. I also see that she's made a little attempt to gain a better relationship with my family... but the damage has been done I guess.. well anyway we have problems and we seemingly fight about something at least once a week. I find myself very attracted to someone in one of my classes. I would never cheat on my girlfriend because thats not me... but my girlfriend and I always talk about fixing things... and sometimes things are fine for a little while.. but we always fall back into the same pattern. I feel so lost I don't know what to think about all this. It's just that everything feels so out of my control I don't know what to do. I love my girlfriend a lot, it's just that things get so bad sometimes and she says she loves me more than anything and that she wants to get married one day to me... but things get so bad.... ughh i dunno anyone have any advice they can lend me? I'm so stressed about everything in my life, school, work, money, family, girlfriend... etc. I feel like I'm going to have a heart attack before I'm 25 :([/QUOTE]

First off I wouldn't just dismiss the family problems. You nned to make both families realise that you have been together for about 3 years...doesn't that mean something. And you should talk to her bout the family issues, both make an effort.
You say you fight like every week. Is it over petty things? I did that with my friend and it was over things that didn't mean anything. It was pointless. However I think I said it was all pointless and I was sorry and so was she and I think it got better from there on in. Not sure though. What are the arguments about then, deep or petty?
Maybe you're attracted to this other girl because she is showing points of her character that your current partner doesn't have and you long for those points. You therefore think you're attracted to this other girl because she isn't what your partner is - well the bad points. If you get that. However, there could be a general attraction, ask yourself why you like the girl.
You both obviously love each other to bits but you need to sort this out if you want to continue seeing each other. Go through each situation at a time, like addressing all your arguing. Why are you arguing, what's the point, you both love each other. Maybe your fixing talks aren't really deep enough talks or meaningful enough. Of course unless they are very serious talks, and they plan to sort out all the problems your girlfriend and you are having, in the long term, you really need to think what is going wrong.
I don't really know. Advice is always asked, hardly ever taken though. You actually know in yer heart what the right thing to do is.
Wow, I feel very good giving advice. Hope it doesn't ruin you ;)

[QUOTE=Chaindrive]If you're sure you and she love each other, then it may be just a bad habit you both have gotten into with the fighting. You can break the bad habit if you want to bad enough.[/QUOTE]

we really try... or at least I try. it just sucks because sometimes things are great... then one day she starts trating me like **** again..

[QUOTE=anarchist/prostitute]we really try... or at least I try. it just sucks because sometimes things are great... then one day she starts trating me like **** again..[/QUOTE]

She's treating you like crap....it does take two to argue unless one is yelling and the other is just sitting there saying nothing. Sure you're not treating her bad too...what sets her off? I'm not accusing you..how she treat you bad?

[QUOTE=anarchist/prostitute]we really try... or at least I try. it just sucks because sometimes things are great... then one day she starts trating me like **** again..[/QUOTE]

Maybe a break is in order so she (and you) can get things sorted out.

[QUOTE=franpgb]First off I wouldn't just dismiss the family problems. You nned to make both families realise that you have been together for about 3 years...doesn't that mean something. And you should talk to her bout the family issues, both make an effort.
You say you fight like every week. Is it over petty things? I did that with my friend and it was over things that didn't mean anything. It was pointless. However I think I said it was all pointless and I was sorry and so was she and I think it got better from there on in. Not sure though. What are the arguments about then, deep or petty?
Maybe you're attracted to this other girl because she is showing points of her character that your current partner doesn't have and you long for those points. You therefore think you're attracted to this other girl because she isn't what your partner is - well the bad points. If you get that. However, there could be a general attraction, ask yourself why you like the girl.
You both obviously love each other to bits but you need to sort this out if you want to continue seeing each other. Go through each situation at a time, like addressing all your arguing. Why are you arguing, what's the point, you both love each other. Maybe your fixing talks aren't really deep enough talks or meaningful enough. Of course unless they are very serious talks, and they plan to sort out all the problems your girlfriend and you are having, in the long term, you really need to think what is going wrong.
I don't really know. Advice is always asked, hardly ever taken though. You actually know in yer heart what the right thing to do is.
Wow, I feel very good giving advice. Hope it doesn't ruin you ;)[/QUOTE]

when we do fight... it's rarely over anything big... it's all petty things for the most part... what usually happens is.. she'll take whatever frustration she has out on me.. then gets me started with my defense.. then next thing I know we're fighting again...

I think the reason I'm so attracted to this girl is... we obviously have a lot in common because we share the same major in college. Like you said I'm seeing all the qualities in her that I can't get from my girlfriend half the time. Right now it's making me crazy because I know if this relationship with my girlfriend were to end... the last thing I need is a brand new relation this soon. My girlfriend sometimes cries to me saying how much she loves me and how much she doesn't want to lose me... yet **** like this keeps happening.

[QUOTE=franpgb]She's treating you like crap....it does take two to argue unless one is yelling and the other is just sitting there saying nothing. Sure you're not treating her bad too...what sets her off? I'm not accusing you..how she treat you bad?[/QUOTE]

she can be pretty moody. I'm a very reserved person in the sense that I hold my aggression in and I don't have a short fuse... but she does have a bit of a short fuse and she winds saying things that she later regrets to me first.. I've really tried to make an effort to work things out... for instance when she starts saying bad stuff... I don't drop down to level anymore no matter how bad I want to.... but things always end up the same

[QUOTE=anarchist/prostitute]when we do fight... it's rarely over anything big... it's all petty things for the most part... what usually happens is.. she'll take whatever frustration she has out on me.. then gets me started with my defense.. then next thing I know we're fighting again...

I think the reason I'm so attracted to this girl is... we obviously have a lot in common because we share the same major in college. Like you said I'm seeing all the qualities in her that I can't get from my girlfriend half the time. Right now it's making me crazy because I know if this relationship with my girlfriend were to end... the last thing I need is a brand new relation this soon. My girlfriend sometimes cries to me saying how much she loves me and how much she doesn't want to lose me... yet **** like this keeps happening.[/QUOTE]

So the fights aren't over anything major. She shouldn't take her fustration out on you, and cry all the time saying she doens't want to lose you. She says she loves you. However perhaps (don't take my word on this) she is just saying that to keep you with her. Promising things will be better when actually the next week she shouts at you again. Maybe she thinks she loves you but actually you don't have that chemistry anymore. But you should talk to her if you want to sort it out because it will go on like this if nothing happens. If you make a big effort the whole time and she does nothing.... well just talk to her really seriously and from that you will know what will happen and whether you should be together. Really try to sort it out if you want to. Talk to her calmly and choose a time - when she isn't stressed. You know her best ;) Why is she always fustrated?
I would focus on your current gf now, as that is more serious. Then when you know what is happening, you can sort out the other girl.

[QUOTE=anarchist/prostitute]she can be pretty moody. I'm a very reserved person in the sense that I hold my aggression in and I don't have a short fuse... but she does have a bit of a short fuse and she winds saying things that she later regrets to me first.. I've really tried to make an effort to work things out... for instance when she starts saying bad stuff... I don't drop down to level anymore no matter how bad I want to.... but things always end up the same[/QUOTE]

Uhoh, my dad has a short fuse and we always argue...you need to talk to her about her aggression and confrontational behaviour. With out saying that she is extrmemly bad-tempered lol. Do it slyly.

I'll keep on talking to her about these things because we both know they need to be talked about. As far as the other girl... I try to take myself out of any situation that would elevate anything that shouldn't be happening. We still small talk but it's not like we have lunch together or anything.. She knows I have a girlfriend so I doubt she'd pursue me if thats what she had in mind... I get so tired of not having control of my own life it makes me sick. Thanks for all the advice by the way :cool: I felt so guilty for being attracted to someone else I didn't know what to think of myself :/

It's perfectly natural to be attracted to someone else when your relationship is on the rocks. Don't feel bad.

[QUOTE=anarchist/prostitute]I'll keep on talking to her about these things because we both know they need to be talked about. As far as the other girl... I try to take myself out of any situation that would elevate anything that shouldn't be happening. We still small talk but it's not like we have lunch together or anything.. She knows I have a girlfriend so I doubt she'd pursue me if thats what she had in mind... I get so tired of not having control of my own life it makes me sick. Thanks for all the advice by the way :cool: I felt so guilty for being attracted to someone else I didn't know what to think of myself :/[/QUOTE]

You shouldn't feel guilty for being attracted to another girl because of your current situation with your current partner, so don't worry about that. You know you wouldn't do anything with her as long as yer with your current gf, so don't worry.
It takes two to talk, remember and if she won't make an effort...and if she keeps crying saying she loves you but she carries on being like this you need to seriously think whether you should stay with her.
I hope all goes well on this, and don't feel guilty about being attracted to the other girl. If things work out :chug: If they don't, I'm sorry.