What I don't understand is this: Myspace isn't real life. Real life is real life. And if you were to have this "conversation" in real life it would be stupid. Because, unless she's my age, she isn't going to stay stuff like "Sure it isn't the end of the story, we just haven't written it yet". Because people her age don't do that.

A side note:

My ex from a few years ago (who one of Chaindrive's songs is written about) just asked me out. Go figure.

It's not like I'm taking this Myspace things as importantly as I would in real life. It's sort of a place where I can try to make new friends, and sort of practice my social skills without having to be pressured to respond to them immediately. I think it will help me realize what kind of responses and topics get people talking, and what I should stay away from. I've actually been talking to quite a few new people on there, and I've only been really active on there for two days. Hopefully I'll find some poeple to hang out with at the show this Saturday or something.

Of course we wouldn't be having a conversation like this in real life, which is why I'm asking you guys about how I should respond. If she was blatantly asking me to hang out, I would have no problem, but the way she presented it is throwing me off so I don't know what I should say. I don't want to say what she expects, or what every other guy would say.

Just be brief, and say maybe.

Did you notice my side note?

You're on the right track that talking to women online helps hone your wit. It helped for me. Most of the funny stuff I say online is typed from a stream of consciousness.

As for what she was saying there... Let me think for a minute, this one's an interesting challenge.

"Okay, but only on the condition that Jude Law does [i]not[/i] get to play me in the movie version of the finished story."
"Oh, we're co-writing the story? Well, be aware that as a male, I'm going to want scenes of car chases, some explosions, and I have to have a scene where I'm all battle-damaged and bad-[size=2]a[/size]ss looking."

I can't think of anymore that don't sound too weird. I just got finished watching The Player again. :p

And all that's alright, as long as the sarcasm is not directed toward the girl you're talking to.

Where I really take umbrage is when the stupid guy I'm talking to thinks (or purports to think) that I'm head over heels with him. And pulls that crap. I hate that.

Ugh I am so out of the loop...who's in The Player?

[QUOTE=Chaindrive]And all that's alright, as long as the sarcasm is not directed toward the girl you're talking to.

Where I really take umbrage is when the stupid guy I'm talking to thinks (or purports to think) that I'm head over heels with him. And pulls that crap. I hate that.[/quote]

Most guys are just joking when they're sarcastic. But being naturally sarcastic, I've learned very early on that there is a line that you shouldn't cross.

[quote]Ugh I am so out of the loop...who's in The Player?[/QUOTE]

Tim Robbins is the main character. It's basically an insider satire of Hollywood.

Really. I trust it's worth watching?

Not the strongest plot ever, but it's more than supported by the stellar performances, the inside jokes, and the action of real Hollywood celebrities playing themselves in the movie.

I really enjoy it, but I'm also a movie-nerd.

Yeah, I saw your sidenote but I didn't know how to respond, 'cause I don't know your current situation. Last thing I knew, your guy was arguing here with Jom or someone, and posting in some weird poetic form.

Steerpike: Haha, I'll probably use some variation of that second response. It made me smile. =)

well sierra went home this morning.
i spent most of the time in the guest house with her over night even though i wasnt really sopposed to

yesterday i took her to teach her how to surf on the beach, was pretty funny and cold :/
but yea was a really good week with her, did so much, like just go to the doneraile (this scenic walk along the side of a cliff) and sit down at night and drink vodka and talking and stuff. she got drunk - damn lightweight.

last night i bought down a load of food to her guest house and cooked her up some pasta/bacon/saussages and crossentes? or somehthing? yea :) -

wasnt so bad leaving her this time as she got a job in Ireland and will be back over in a couple of weeks. was really bad last night - i was lying beside her and she was like al curled up into me and she starts grabbing my shirt and im liek " :o sex " lol but yea i turned over and she was crying with all her eyes and cheeks soaked with tears and i didnt really realise she was crying and yea. but it was all cool leaving her today.

il miss her
good week
just thought id tell ye' since i havent been here all week really.

oh lol - i also totally floored her with the surfboard when picking it up. she laughed and i gave her a big bump on her head and im like " :o holy **** " lol

but yea

k bye

OK, i haven't posted in here for a while becuase i have doing OK. BUT i have recently met a girl i am really in to called Hayley i met her about 3 months ago throught some friends we all went out for drinks you see. Then i got her addy off a friend on MSN we talk a bit so i invited her to my 21st on Saturday night we chatted a little and that but i was busy playing host so....... we didnt get to talk as much as i would have liked. Then on Sunday night we were texting and she said that she'd like to get with me if we want the same things but not just yet because single is good for her atm. So i text her saying if you like me that much why wait and i wasn't prepared to wait around forever.

Theres more thought she is a ex of a good mate and recently they have had abit of a spat so i keep getting this feeling that she could be trying to use me to get back at him.

I am so confused guys WILL SOME nice MXR please help me? :confused:

[QUOTE=Grego1985]OK, i haven't posted in here for a while becuase i have doing OK. BUT i have recently met a girl i am really in to called Hayley i met her about 3 months ago throught some friends we all went out for drinks you see. Then i got her addy off a friend on MSN we talk a bit so i invited her to my 21st on Saturday night we chatted a little and that but i was busy playing host so....... we didnt get to talk as much as i would have liked. Then on Sunday night we were texting and she said that she'd like to get with me if we want the same things but not just yet because single is good for her atm. So i text her saying if you like me that much why wait and i wasn't prepared to wait around forever.

Theres more thought she is a ex of a good mate and recently they have had abit of a spat so i keep getting this feeling that she could be trying to use me to get back at him.

I am so confused guys WILL SOME nice MXR please help me? :confused:[/QUOTE]

Good for you for thinking that she could be trying to use you. There's always that possibility. Let her make the next contact with you.

[QUOTE=Grego1985]OK, i haven't posted in here for a while becuase i have doing OK. BUT i have recently met a girl i am really in to called Hayley i met her about 3 months ago throught some friends we all went out for drinks you see. Then i got her addy off a friend on MSN we talk a bit so i invited her to my 21st on Saturday night we chatted a little and that but i was busy playing host so....... we didnt get to talk as much as i would have liked. Then on Sunday night we were texting and she said that she'd like to get with me if we want the same things but not just yet because single is good for her atm. So i text her saying if you like me that much why wait and i wasn't prepared to wait around forever.

Theres more thought she is a ex of a good mate and recently they have had abit of a spat so i keep getting this feeling that she could be trying to use me to get back at him.

I am so confused guys WILL SOME nice MXR please help me? :confused:[/QUOTE]


She knows where you stand. So it's up to her at this point to make the effort. Keep an eye out if you think she's still trying to use you, and good luck.

[QUOTE=Chaindrive]Okay, but smartassedness/arrogance/cockiness is a turn off, for me at least.

You better have that smartassedness honed to perfection before I'll even listen to it.[/QUOTE]

[quote=Wiz.]When I say cocky, I mean confident and witty and yadda yadda, not arrogant or anything. I don't see being cocky as a bad thing, but arrogance is.[/quote]

I think there are different levels of smartassedness/arrogance/cockiness; or, at least, those three words aren't synonymous. I don't relate arrogance and cockiness at all. But D has it backwards. Cockiness is much more extreme and subsequently more frowned upon than arrogance. For me, arrogance and confidence can be interchanged because one leads to the other in both connections. It's a two-way street in that case. I don't think any girl would be turned on to cockiness unless she's dumb as hell.

[quote=Chaindrive]A side note:

My ex from a few years ago (who one of Chaindrive's songs is written about) just asked me out. Go figure.[/quote]

Hahaha. What luck!

It seems it's a matter of how one uses the language. I always saw arrogance as the extreme of the spectrum.

I refer again to my earlier example. Without context, a statement like that makes me sound like I'm pretty full of myself. But put in the way I say it and the way I act, and it's clear I'm just being funny and showing confidence in myself by having the balls to actually say something like that.

I guess I'm gonna post this in here.

Okay, I have a big problem going on in my life right now. I'll try and recap, and tell you what's going on right now.


About 7 months ago, I found out that my parents were getting a divorce, and that I was gonna move about an hour away to St.Petersburg, Florida. The divorce(while definitely not a good thing), I was fine with. Moving away....not so much. I was gonna do whatever it took to stay right here, with my school and friends that I loved.

So, my mom moved to St.Pete(even though she had custody of us), and decided to let us stay with my dad. So, now the main problem was selling our house(cause let's just say money problems were really bad). And what do you know? First day we put it up on the market, its sold! A whole lot of stress is taken off.

So, things seem to be going good. Now all we need to do is look for a new place to live within this area we are living in now.

Now, as of yesterday, here is where I am at.

According to my dad, my mom told him that she told me that after the school year was over, that I was gonna move in with her, in St.Pete.

.....wait wait wait....WHAT??!!??!!?

I was never told that. I remember having a loooong talk with her, with her saying that she was gonna let me stay here in my home area(Brandon/Valrico, Florida). That's all I wanted. And out of nowhere, I hear that I'm supposed to move to St.Petersburg, the thing I was dreading, up until she told me I could stay here. I'm gonna do anything within my power to stay here. If it takes up all my time and effort, then good, as long as I can stay here.


Now, how to stay here? My dad is gonna get my mom to come to our house(hopefully), and we're all gonna have a big discussion. My mom, dad, sister, and me. My mom is the only one who wants us to move to St.Pete. My dad is crying over the fact that she wants to do that, and take us away from everything.

The options?:
+a) Stay in my area somewhere with my dad
+b) Stay in my area somewhere with my mom(which seems like the only one that will work, but, she dosen't like this area[for no reason at all. She won't admit it, but I think she would even agree its better than where she is living]).
-c) Move to St.Pete with my mom.


A or B, dosen't matter to me. I'd prefer my dad, but either way, my parents are going to live closeby wherever it is, so its all good.


It all comes down to talking to my mom, and convincing her to let us stay down here, either with my dad, or her moving back here as well.

There's my story, and all I'm asking you is any advice of what I can say to my mom, when we have that big conversation, to change her mind so that I can still live here? I'm gonna do anything it takes, but I think all it needs is something as simple as talking it out. I just need to know what to say and make sure it means something, and makes a difference.

Thanks.

Make a list of the reasons it makes more sense for you to stay in the area. Do some research as far as crime, schools, etc. between the two areas. Make a convincing argument and present your argument calmly.

[QUOTE=Chaindrive]Make a list of the reasons it makes more sense for you to stay in the area. Do some research as far as crime, schools, etc. between the two areas. Make a convincing argument and present your argument calmly.[/QUOTE]
I didn't even think of the differences in crime, and statistics like that. That may definitely help.

I'm going to write down everything, plan it out, and be pretty calm when I tell her. Of course, I'll tell her how I feel too.

How do I turn down a fat girl?

She's nice and all, but annoying at times, and enormously fat. I want to turn her down nicely, and I was going to say that I wasn't wanting a relationship with anyone right now, 'cause I'm not ove rmy ex. But it's obvious that I'm going to be dating other girls and things, so I don't want to seem like a jackass or something. She's been a friend for quite awhile, not close, but we chat on MSN when I'm really bored and stuff.

Just tell her you don't like her "that way"?

Dude3 - how old are you?

Just tell you're parents how you feel about it, that you want to stay where you are with you're friends and school. You dont want to change right now.

In the end its you're choice, you're life - if you are above 18 you should definatley have a stay.
Course if you are a young laddy - and you're parents are strict.

just say what you said to us - im sure they will understand. There is no harm in going to ur moms at the weekends while going to school with friends during the weekdays, and during the summer maybe change it around. Thats what my m8 did back when he was in school.

[QUOTE=Chaindrive]Just tell her you don't like her "that way"?[/QUOTE]
I told her the "I'm not ready to see anyone yet" thing. She'll get over it, I'm always worried about hurting people's feelings and stuff, even about sumb things, that's another thing I should work on.

well wiz, what can you do. If you cared about what you said to everyone - you'd have a tough life. She will have to just get over it or post on L&R thread :p

Ugh. I just went from ecstatic to crying in like 20 minutes.

PS:This is Brandon/Fire Whispers for those of you who care.

[QUOTE=Atticus!]Ugh. I just went from ecstatic to crying in like 20 minutes.

PS:This is Brandon/Fire Whispers for those of you who care.[/QUOTE]
whats up man? :confused:

I asked a girl out ad she says yes. gethome and a few minutes later she calls me up and say that she needs more time to be comfortable around me so that we can have a good relationship.

All this will do is leave her time to not like me and start liking someone else. And then I get f[U]u[/U]cked over once again. Isn't this nice.

[QUOTE=Atticus!]I asked a girl out ad she says yes. gethome and a few minutes later she calls me up and say that she needs more time to be comfortable around me so that we can have a good relationship.

All this will do is leave her time to not like me and start liking someone else. And then I get f[U]u[/U]cked over once again. Isn't this nice.[/QUOTE]
not going to say there is plenty more fish in the sea, but if she isnt into you m8, what can you do?
im sure there is someone else.
maybe you shouldnt ask her out, maybe just hang out for a while and get comfortable. Maybe there is something about you that is making her uncomfortable.

maybe.

Don't worry about it dude, just go hang out with her, and if she doesn't like you, move on to the next girl. You may feel like crap now, but it will pass.

[QUOTE=~grif~]not going to say there is plenty more fish in the sea, but if she isnt into you m8, what can you do?
im sure there is someone else.
maybe you shouldnt ask her out, maybe just hang out for a while and get comfortable. Maybe there is something about you that is making her uncomfortable.

maybe.[/QUOTE]
You don't get it. She is into me. She spent like 10 minutes the other day practically crying to one of her/my best friends about how she thought I didn't like her.

[QUOTE=~grif~]Dude3 - how old are you?

Just tell you're parents how you feel about it, that you want to stay where you are with you're friends and school. You dont want to change right now.

In the end its you're choice, you're life - if you are above 18 you should definatley have a stay.
Course if you are a young laddy - and you're parents are strict.

just say what you said to us - im sure they will understand. There is no harm in going to ur moms at the weekends while going to school with friends during the weekdays, and during the summer maybe change it around. Thats what my m8 did back when he was in school.[/QUOTE]
Unfortunately, I'm only 15. So when it comes down to it, I can't do whatever I want. My mom has custody of me(not full, but the majority of it, not sure what its called).

And my parents never were strict or anything. And I honestly don't know why it would make any sense to my mom for me to move to St.Pete with her. I guess so she could be with me every day, but in the end, everyone is just gonna be even more depressed. I'll tell her that. Me, my sister, my dad, and all our friends are gonna be really saddened over this, and my mom wouldn't want to see me and my sister like that. So, I'll use that as another good reason to let us stay in the Brandon/Valrico area.


And like you said, about seeing her on weekends:
We still see her. I call her almost every night(I need to make it several times a day thoguh, jsut to be nice), and I go to her place every other weekend. And she comes down here sometimes too. So, we don't ditch her. We see her and keep in contact.

[QUOTE=Atticus!]You don't get it. She is into me. She spent like 10 minutes the other day practically crying to one of her/my best friends about how she thought I didn't like her.[/QUOTE]
If she's into you at all, just give it time before you try to progress things. Ask her out on a few dates and hang out with her more, and seee what happens. It's all you can do. Don't worry about things, because she's just a girl, and she is replacable.

[QUOTE=Atticus!]You don't get it. She is into me. She spent like 10 minutes the other day practically crying to one of her/my best friends about how she thought I didn't like her.[/QUOTE]
well if she likes you so much to cry about you, why dose she need to be more comfortable around you.

thinking about it, maybe something happened or something was said to change her mind, you should talk to her about it.

[QUOTE=Dude3]Unfortunately, I'm only 15. So when it coems down to it, I can't do whatever I want. My mom has custody of me(not full, but the majority of it, not sure what its called).

And my parents never were strict or anything. And I honestly don't know why it would make any sense to my mom for me to move to St.Pete with her. I guess so she could be with me every day, but in the end, everyone is jsut gonna be even more depressed. I'll tell her that. Me, my sister, my dad, and all our frienjds are gonna be really saddened over this, and my mom wouldn't want to see me and my sister like that. So, I'll use that as another good reason to let uss tay in the Brandon/Valrico area.


And like you said, about seeing ehr on weekends:
We still see her. I call her almost every night(I need to make it several times a day thoguh, jsut to be nice), and I go to her place every other weekend. And she comes down here sometimes too. So, we don't ditch her. We see her and keep in contact.[/QUOTE]

well im sure you're parents are like hating eachother and do whatever to spite eachother like taking custody. when you talk to them, tell them how you feel - im sure they will understand.

[QUOTE=~grif~]well if she likes you so much to cry about you, why dose she need to be more comfortable around you.

thinking about it, maybe something happened or something was said to change her mind, you should talk to her about it.[/QUOTE]
I am talking to her about it. And she says she really likes me, but she needs time o be comfortable. And I get what she means completely. I just feel like sh[U]i[/U]t.

[QUOTE=Atticus!]I am talking to her about it. And she says she really likes me, but she needs time o be comfortable. And I get what she means completely. I just feel like sh[U]i[/U]t.[/QUOTE]
she dose like you then, obivousley alot - so it will work out, no?
take her for a walk, it dose wonders.

[QUOTE=~grif~]well im sure you're parents are like hating eachother and do whatever to spite eachother like taking custody. when you talk to them, tell them how you feel - im sure they will understand.[/QUOTE]
Well, they don't hate eachother. They're actually still friends and all....well, I guess we'll see how long that lasts. My mom seems to be putting all this stuff onto my dad now, blaming him for things that aren't even his fault. And my dad knows how I feel, and agrees 100%. He wants me to stay here sooo bad, just as bad as I do. My mom is the only one who wants me to go to St.Pete. She's the only one I have to convince. Too bad she's the one with the custody. jeez.

I was reading a few pages back and the topic seemed to be confidence. And I've been thinking, I have very little confidence when it comes to making a move. "Get some balls" is usually the advice I get, but unless it's blatantly obvious she wants it, I can't bring myself make the first move. I think it's cause I have a fear of rejection. I've had little success with girls, and have been hurt a lot. I don't really know what I can do to start believing in myself.

I can pretend to be confident on stage, although I am pretty confident about myself when it comes to that. I don't know how I can pretend to be confident around girls. I have no problem with being funny and witty, but initiating anything with a girl is tough.

[QUOTE=~grif~]she dose like you then, obivousley alot - so it will work out, no?
take her for a walk, it dose wonders.[/QUOTE]
Yeah I guess. I'm really just venting because I feel really sh[U]i[/U]tty..

[QUOTE=Atticus!]Yeah I guess. I'm really just venting because I feel really sh[U]i[/U]tty..[/QUOTE]

everybody feels like crap at some point - just keep in mind that she sounds like she's in it for the long run... the fact that she's taking her time (so long as it seems she's interested in you) means a lot

[QUOTE=Rasta Rocker]I was reading a few pages back and the topic seemed to be confidence. And I've been thinking, I have very little confidence when it comes to making a move. "Get some balls" is usually the advice I get, but unless it's blatantly obvious she wants it, I can't bring myself make the first move. I think it's cause I have a fear of rejection. I've had little success with girls, and have been hurt a lot. I don't really know what I can do to start believing in myself.

I can pretend to be confident on stage, although I am pretty confident about myself when it comes to that. I don't know how I can pretend to be confident around girls. I have no problem with being funny and witty, but initiating anything with a girl is tough.[/QUOTE]


The single best general advice, possibly ever posted in this thread, is this

"Don't break eye contact"

If your looking, and your eyes meet, make her look away, you just keep on keeping on. Its hard to get used to, i still have that sudden urge to jerk my head away, but I'm trying, i think its working.

Okay, maybe its not the best advice in the thread, but as far a confidenc goes. it is.

It's that simple?

Well, that explains ****ing everything...