[QUOTE=repcak;15840811][url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7f-dKaa4ucs[/url]
watch this :lol:[/QUOTE]

ooollld

[QUOTE=ICB;15840897]You're not listening, are you?[/QUOTE]

I've already read [I]The God Delusion.[/I] My boss didn't put the title on it because some of the people we work with are rather religious.

Have you read anything by him, or are you just calling him a fag because he is an outspoken atheist?

Yo g-units today at my school during an assembly somebody lit a whole bunch of firecrackers pulled the fire alarm and shouted "Columbine" and nows it gonna be on the news

hi5 for really lame school pranks

He's a knob. Let's lighten the mood!

Actual quotes from Christian Fundamentalist Chat Rooms:

[QUOTE]Everyone knows scientists insist on using complex terminology to make it harder for True Christians to refute their claims.

Deoxyribonucleic Acid, for example... sounds impressive, right? But have you ever seen what happens if you put something in acid? It dissolves! If we had all this acid in our cells, we'd all dissolve! So much for the Theory of Evolution, Check MATE![/QUOTE]

[QUOTE]One of the most basic laws in the universe is the Second Law of Thermodynamics. This states that as time goes by, entropy in an environment will increase. Evolution argues differently against a law that is accepted EVERYWHERE BY EVERYONE. Evolution says that we started out simple, and over time became more complex. That just isn't possible: UNLESS there is a giant outside source of energy supplying the Earth with huge amounts of energy. If there were such a source, scientists would certainly know about it[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE]Gravity: Doesn't exist. If items of mass had any impact of others, then mountains should have people orbiting them. Or the space shuttle in space should have the astronauts orbiting it. Of course, that's just the tip of the gravity myth. Think about it. Scientists want us to believe that the sun has a gravitation pull strong enough to keep a planet like neptune or pluto in orbit, but then it's not strong enough to keep the moon in orbit? Why is that? What I believe is going on here is this: These objects in space have yet to receive mans touch, and thus have no sin to weigh them down. This isn't the case for earth, where we see the impact of transfered sin to material objects. The more sin, the heavier something is.[/QUOTE]

[url]http://209.85.165.104/search?q=cache:http%3A//www.fstdt.com/fundies/top100.aspx%3Farchive%3D1[/url]

[QUOTE]Everyone knows scientists insist on using complex terminology to make it harder for True Christians to refute their claims.

Deoxyribonucleic Acid, for example... sounds impressive, right? But have you ever seen what happens if you put something in acid? It dissolves! If we had all this acid in our cells, we'd all dissolve! So much for the Theory of Evolution, Check MATE![/QUOTE]

rofl

[quote]Athiests as a Majority

This is what it would be like, if the majority of people were athiests.
ATHIEST KID: Mom, I'm going to go **** a hooker.
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, son.
ATHIEST KID: Afterwards, I'm going to go smoke pot with my friends, since it's "not addictive."
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, come home soon!

The athiest kid leaves the room. The father comes home from work several minutes later.

ATHIEST DAD: Hey!
ATHIEST MOM: Hi, honey! I'm pregnant again. I guess I'll just get another abortion, since "fetuses don't count as human life."
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, get as many abortions as you want!
ATHIEST MOM: Oh, and don't go in the bedroom.
ATHIEST DAD: Why not?
ATHIEST MOM: There are two gay men ****ing eachother in there.
ATHIEST DAD: Why are they here?
ATHIEST MOM: I wanted to watch them do it for awhile. They just aren't finished yet.
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, that's fine with me!

Suddenly, their neighbor runs into the house.

ATHIEST NEIGHBOR: Come quick, there's a Christian outside!
ATHIEST MOM: We'll be right there!

The athiest couple quickly put on a pair of black robes and hoods. They then exit the house, and run into the street, where a Christian is nailed to a large, wooden X. He is being burned alive. A crowd of athiests stand around him, all wearing black robes and hoods.

RANDOM ATHIEST: Damn you, Christian! We hate you! We claim to be tolerant of all religions. But we really hate your's! That's because we athiests are hypocritical like that! Die, Christian!

THE END

Scary, isn't it?[/quote]

Thank you, f[size=2]u[/size]cking looney-tune! But John Steinbeck you ain't.

That's depressing while being hilarious.

[QUOTE=i am the robots;15840975]rofl[/QUOTE]

if that is an actual quote I am ashamed to share the earth with these people

at the same time thats hilaarious lmao

[QUOTE][in a discussion on whether the speed of light is constant (fundies like to say it isn't)]

Constants seldom are ... pi changes depending upon the strength of the gravitational field involved.[/QUOTE]

That site is golden.

[QUOTE]Jesus is not a Jew. Jesus was Jewish.[/QUOTE]
LOL

They're all real, you can view their original sources.

Some of those people are infant-raping insane. Check out this motherf[size=2]u[/size]cker.

[quote]I honestly don't care about your rights. If it were up to me, all Atheists would be burnt at the stake and or cast into a river with weights tied to their ankles and or placed before the firing squad, etc etc etc.[/quote]

Fortunately for us all, I can safely say that William Wallace there really only poses a threat to his kids.

Oh Christians :(

Some of the quotes on fstdt are actually from forums I go to!

rofl, the mood definitely has been lifted.

This one is my new favorite and here's why. Emphasis and footnotes mine.

[quote]The other day while installing some new fiber optics cables for a satellite array I overheard some coworkers talking about quarks. [b]Quarks are supposedly tiny particles that nobody can see and nobody has any use for.(1)[/b] So why do we know about them? What good does it possibly do us to know what a quark is? Just another example of useless science, and wasted money on the so called research needed for this great discovery.

I seriously have to wornder about people who spend their free time thinking about things like quarks or quasars. [b]There are more important things to do.(2)[/b]

[b]As far as I am concerned if an answer to a question isn't in the bible, then the you have no business asking the question.(3)[/b] A few years ago when my wife suddenly had to get an emergency c-section I was scared. But I didnt turn to any book about quarks. Luckily I had my palm pilot with me, [b]which just happened to have the entire King James bible on it!(4)[/b] I read a few passages that gave me the strength to pray for her and the baby to get through this ordeal. [b]I sure didn't need any useless trivia books about quarks to find comfort in.(5)[/b]

[b]I have very little use for science. In fact it is in impediment to getting close to God.(6)[/b]

[Someone points out the obvious fact that c-sections and computers are a benefit of science.]

You are confusing TECHNOLOGY with SCIENCE.

Technology and science are often lumped together, but are totally separate and unrelated things.

Technology makes peoples lives easier. [b]Technology is the product of inventive geniuses who were inspired by God.(7)[/b] Inventions and innovations improve life.

[b]Science causes confustion and makes things complicated.(8)[/b] Everytime there is a new discovery the old discoveries and old wisdom are discarded! And theories get more and more complex. Science makes people confused and complicates things. [b]Who is the author of confusion?(9) Satan of course.(10)[/b] The bible it the opposite of science. Biblical wisdom NEVER CHANGES, and anyone can get it. Scientific wisdom is always changing and contradicting itself, [b]and really nobody gets it.(11)[/b]

[b]Please don't insult our intelligence(12)[/b] by lumping science and technology together. [b]They are as different at night and day.(13)[/b][/quote]

1. The irony is palpable.
2. If that sentence is followed by, "Like f[size=2]u[/size]cking and drinking," I can totally get behind that. But I kind of doubt it.
3. I bet his wife hears that [i]a lot[/i].
4. I've never seen a more gross misuse of the phrase, "jsut happened to," in my entire life.
5. Oh, you have need for useless trivia books alright.
6. Apparently installing fiber optic cables for sattelites don't count, because that lets you watch The 700 Club and Fox News in hi-def.
7. So that would mean God is responsible for condoms, p0rn web sites, and fleshlights. Okay. I can roll with that.
8. I'll bet it does, Gomer.
9. James Joyce? The Wachowski brothers? Neil Gaiman?
10. Damn. I was close.
11. Well... you don't.
12. ....... F[size=2]u[/size]ck, you don't need me. Write your own joke.
13. That little typo there actually makes for an interesting movie tagline, or at least a line in a trailer.

dude, he's got a point, science does causes confustion

lol confustion, is that new type of engine?

dude, it takes the thoughts of christians and burns them for energy because its an evil scientific machine, not to be confused with a (god inspired) technological machine

does anyone know anyone who pronounces "frustration" like "fustration"

it's pretty irritating

oh wow, those quotes made me stop eating my cinnamon toast crunch and cry.

[QUOTE=Toaster;15841278]does anyone know anyone who pronounces "frustration" like "fustration"

it's pretty irritating[/QUOTE]

no but ive heard axe instead of ask

[QUOTE=Steerpike;15841225]This one is my new favorite and here's why. Emphasis and footnotes mine.



1. The irony is palpable.
2. If that sentence is followed by, "Like f[size=2]u[/size]cking and drinking," I can totally get behind that. But I kind of doubt it.
3. I bet his wife hears that [i]a lot[/i].
4. I've never seen a more gross misuse of the phrase, "jsut happened to," in my entire life.
5. Oh, you have need for useless trivia books alright.
6. Apparently installing fiber optic cables for sattelites don't count, because that lets you watch The 700 Club and Fox News in hi-def.
7. So that would mean God is responsible for condoms, p0rn web sites, and fleshlights. Okay. I can roll with that.
8. I'll bet it does, Gomer.
9. James Joyce? The Wachowski brothers? Neil Gaiman?
10. Damn. I was close.
11. Well... you don't.
12. ....... F[size=2]u[/size]ck, you don't need me. Write your own joke.
13. That little typo there actually makes for an interesting movie tagline, or at least a line in a trailer.[/QUOTE]
Like, literally. I wonder why it isn't legal to just go out and throw these kinds of people off a cliff.

lololol

[quote][on why homosexuality is wrong and not natural]

When two guy's have sex they can only penetrate eachother through the crack which I think is disgusting because of all the crap that's in there. They both must face the same direction and thus one guy's twig and berries will be projecting from the two. Because no man has a vagina they can't become one flesh when having normal sex.

Women don't have Jimmy and his two buddies hanging around so they can't naturally penetrate eachother and become one flesh.

Oral with dudes can't be natural because the legs will be poking out from different directions as will the ladies if they participate in oral sex.

Oral with the opposite sex still isn't natural because you still have the leg issue and often someone is further down if they are not on top of eachother.

Anal with opposites is still excluded from natural sex because once again your are sticking your think in a crap hole and a womans tits are usually projecting outward.

When the Bible is speaking of becoming one flesh it literally means that there is nothing sticking out in the clear and that the man and woman are facing eachother. Face to Face.[/quote]

This guy does [i]a lot[/i] of thinking about gay sex.

I'll bet his wife cheats on him constantly.

[QUOTE=Steerpike;15841357]This guy does [i]a lot[/i] of thinking about gay sex.

I'll bet his wife cheats on him constantly.[/QUOTE]

[SIZE="7"][B][I][U]I[/U][/I][/B][/SIZE]


[SIZE="7"][B][I][U]DIED[/U][/I][/B][/SIZE]










[I]
There are a lot of things I have concluded to be wrong, without studying them in-depth. Evolution is one of them. The fact that I don't know that much about it does not bother me in the least.

AV1611VET[/I]


LMAO, I used to debate this guy on another forum.

[quote]If the Bible is wrong when it tells us it is infallible, then it contradicts itself. If it contradicts itself, then it is unreliable. If it is unreliable, then our faith is totally shattered and Christianity is a lie. You need to seriously reconsider your logic.[/quote]

Now we're gettin' somewhere!

I'm having too much fun with this.

[I]was recently criticized for making a statement about my daughter not being able to play a war game on the Wii because she was a girl. Besides being too young to play it, it is true that I won't let her play it because she is a girl. And no, I don't think she should not learn math, either. I want my boys and girls (I have 2 each) to grow up being boys and girls. I don't want them growing up confused as to what their roles are in life. I want my girls to grow up with a desire to take care of their kids at home. Even homeschool. I want my boys to grow up learning what it means to lead, how to lead, and how to do it in a Godly way. I want my girls to learn how to follow their husbands leadership. I want them to learn that submitting to their husband does not make them a door mat. That it's as God wants it, and that they will have a more fulfilling life by doing what God has said.[/I]




[I][Rape in the Bible]

Women are naturally weak, they are more open to sin, then men are.

The rapes happened in the bible yes they happened and were recorded , why to teach us a lesson, have you not heard of parables, in the Bible, these happend to teach us women not to bare are flesh or to lust.

(So you worship a Pro-Rape God with sadistic personality disorder?)

God allows it to happen, in the hope that it would teach us and strengthen are faith.

It happens, but most female rape victims often bring it on themselves.

(What a unbelievable statement! Are you for real? Please be a troll.)

a troll? yes i am being real.

God is not sadistic, he allows it for are sake, so we could learn.

(So God is Satan? I'm Confused.)[/I]

At least he doesn't want his daughter to be a door mat.

Trying to find something redeemable I dunno.

[QUOTE=guitrguy;15840185]I'd be thoroughly surprised and pissed off the B&N does not have it.[/QUOTE]

hahahaha, they didn't.

Ya, playing a video game turns innocent girls into punching bags.

[I]Apes are just creatures twisted by Satan to mock Jesus by giving EVILolition credibility. Further more they are naturally lust crazed for human women. Since they are not natural creatures they should be exterminated forthwith as the tools of evil they are. [/I]

[QUOTE=Mr. Ron;15841441][I]Apes are just creatures twisted by Satan to mock Jesus by giving EVILolition credibility. Further more they are naturally lust crazed for human women. Since they are not natural creatures they should be exterminated forthwith as the tools of evil they are. [/I][/QUOTE]

blacks?

These Christian posts (and their interpretations) are hilarious. I would argue that religion is good for some people, but man, when you're surrounded by people who write crap like that, it makes me wonder how they can follow the whole 'love thy neighbor' thing.

"Love your neighbor as long as they're like you in every way" is probably a bit more accurate.

Love your neighbor as long as they give nice rimjobs.

i prefer only the most assfisting prostate stimulation

nigga don't know nothin' 'bout prostates

I like hugs.

ummm okay?

Females are evil.