The worst was when I hooked up with a girl who had no idea how to give a hand job. She was just yanking on me like she was trying to start a lawn mower.

[QUOTE=thickasabrick]My first time was actually quite good, although my gfs little sister walked in because she wanted us to take her to a carnival. She didn't catch on though. (She caught us a few times).

I wasn't aware that teeth can become a big problem when an inexperienced girl wants to pleasure you orally. After about an hour she was asking if I had came yet...luckily a Queen concert was there to entertain me through the pain. (She got better with practice)[/QUOTE]

My first time was horrible, because it was my then-girlfriend's (we were both 16) first time too...she was too tight, I didn't know what to do down there, and I lasted like, two minutes. :upset:

(of course, now I can go on marathon sessions, what a difference two years make)

And yeah, I would think that inexperienced girls would suck at blowjobs. I've never had a bad blowjob, though.

[QUOTE=ArrestThisMan]The worst was when I hooked up with a girl who had no idea how to give a hand job. She was just yanking on me like she was trying to start a lawn mower.[/QUOTE]

I guess I got with all the normal girls who aren't retarded when it comes to pleasing guys.

DN, you would be proud. I am listening to Parliament - Flashlight

[QUOTE=ArrestThisMan]The worst was when I hooked up with a girl who had no idea how to give a hand job. She was just yanking on me like she was trying to start a lawn mower.[/QUOTE]
:lol:

[QUOTE=ArrestThisMan]The worst was when I hooked up with a girl who had no idea how to give a hand job. She was just yanking on me like she was trying to start a lawn mower.[/QUOTE]

:lol:

Handjobs suck balls....I had one once, and I was THIS CLOSE to pushing her away and saying, "Step back and watch a pro". They're like a ground-rule double...you know you probably could have-and should have-gone further.

[QUOTE=ArrestThisMan]DN, you would be proud. I am listening to Parliament - Flashlight[/QUOTE]

Heh, Parliament is the sh[SIZE=2]it[/SIZE].

[QUOTE=Disconnection Notice]:lol:

Handjobs suck balls....I had one once, and I was THIS CLOSE to pushing her away and saying, "Step back and watch a pro". They're like a ground-rule double...you know you probably could have-and should have-gone further.[/QUOTE]

Yea, if there's not at least head involved, Jill can probably take care of it.

[QUOTE=Disconnection Notice]:lol:

Handjobs suck balls....I had one once, and I was THIS CLOSE to pushing her away and saying, "Step back and watch a pro". They're like a ground-rule double...you know you probably could have-and should have-gone further.[/QUOTE]

Exactly. I mean, guys can jerk off anytime we want, why would we want a girl to do that?

???

Who's "Jill"?

EDIT: To lunch, obviously

[QUOTE=Disconnection Notice]???

Who's "Jill"?

EDIT: To lunch, obviously[/QUOTE]

Jill=hand. "Hanging out with Jill"=Whacking off.

I've never heard that expression.

And also, [good] oral sex = best feeling in the world.

[QUOTE=Disconnection Notice]I've never heard that expression.

And also, [good] oral sex = best feeling in the world.[/QUOTE]

If you hold your hand out, your thumb and index finger make the "j", middle makes the "i" and ring and pinky are both "l".

You look at your hands too much.

[QUOTE=Disconnection Notice]You look at your hands too much.[/QUOTE]

I didn't make it up, but I did think it was funny when I first heard about it.

Dammit, these stories are making me jealous

Poor Ramsey.

NP: Led Zeppelin - Achilles Last Stand

[QUOTE=Disconnection Notice]:lol:

Handjobs suck balls....I had one once, and I was THIS CLOSE to pushing her away and saying, "Step back and watch a pro". They're like a ground-rule double...you know you probably could have-and should have-gone further.[/QUOTE]

I got a hand job not a month ago, what a terrible experience. She was "lawnmowering" my staff and couldn't get me off. Well this went on for some time and finally ended. That was ok, but the blue balls I got afterwards...Wors't case ever. I couldn't even walk.

[QUOTE=cjborton]I got a hand job not a month ago, what a terrible experience. She was "lawnmowering" my staff and couldn't get me off. Well this went on for some time and finally ended. That was ok, but the blue balls I got afterwards...Wors't case ever. I couldn't even walk.[/QUOTE]

:lol:

This is why handjobs suck...women never have any idea what they're doing.

So in conclusion:

Threesomes>Sex>Head>Masturbating>Handjobs.

[QUOTE=lunch998]So in conclusion:

Threesomes>Sex>Head>Masturbating>Handjobs.[/QUOTE]

Well summarized.

[QUOTE=lunch998]So in conclusion:

Threesomes>Sex>Head>Masturbating>Handjobs.[/QUOTE]

I dunno...head feels better than sex, and there's less work on my part.

[QUOTE=Disconnection Notice]:lol:

This is why handjobs suck...women never have any idea what they're doing.[/QUOTE]

I've stopped girls before and told them that if I wanted a handjob, I'd do it myself. I am simply better at that particular skill than any woman. She needs to do something that I cannot.

[QUOTE=Dancin' Man]I've stopped girls before and told them that if I wanted a handjob, I'd do it myself. I am simply better at that particular skill than any woman. She needs to do something that I cannot.[/QUOTE]

I think I know where that would lead :naughty:

[QUOTE=Dancin' Man]I've stopped girls before and told them that if I wanted a handjob, I'd do it myself. I am simply better at that particular skill than any woman. She needs to do something that I cannot.[/QUOTE]
Well said.

The best part about being a junior in highschool is that just about everyone has discovered sex and is craving it which makes the horniest people on earth highschool juniors.

[QUOTE=Dancin' Man]The best part about being a junior in highschool is that just about everyone has discovered sex and is craving it which makes the horniest people on earth highschool juniors.[/QUOTE]

...Try being in the Army.

[QUOTE=Dancin' Man]The best part about being a junior in highschool is that just about everyone has discovered sex and is craving it which makes the horniest people on earth highschool juniors.[/QUOTE]

(horny teenagers) - (parents) - (any inhibitions) = (college)

heh... this thread reminded me.

An ex girlfriend of mine and I have hooked up on numerous occasions. I was going to stop because I wasn't getting sex (never had sex with her) and wanted it. She just decided she wanted sex really badly and I was the person she felt most comfortable with. That means, she and I will be skipping school from time to time in order to fu[b][i][/b][/i]ck. I also made it clear to her that if this were to happen, there would be no strings attatched. We'll see how long it lasts.

[QUOTE=cjborton]...Try being in the Army.[/QUOTE]

Sucker.

Hooking up with exes....I hooked up with my ex over Christmas break and I felt TERRIBLE about it.

[QUOTE=Disconnection Notice](horny teenagers) - (parents) - (any inhibitions) = (college)[/QUOTE]

I'm looking to go to music school. Hopefully though, it will be SUNY Purchase. Linked to a state school which means lots of non artsy girls, and it's near NYC where I have a bunch more friends who are ballet dancers (and not the anorexic kind either) who are all horny. A few are coke heads though which takes away my desire to bone them.

[QUOTE=Dancin' Man]Sucker.[/QUOTE]

Not really. The barracks are a sex-fest. And most of the women are better looking than you'd expect. Worst part is not being able to grow out my hair...dam[size=2]n[/size] I long for it.

[QUOTE=Dancin' Man]I'm looking to go to music school. Hopefully though, it will be SUNY Purchase. Linked to a state school which means lots of non artsy girls, and it's near NYC where I have a bunch more friends who are ballet dancers (and not the anorexic kind either) who are all horny. A few are coke heads though which takes away my desire to bone them.[/QUOTE]

There's something about being away from home that makes college girls that much hornier/easier.

[QUOTE=cjborton]Not really. The barracks are a sex-fest. And most of the women are better looking than you'd expect. Worst part is not being able to grow out my hair...dam[size=2]n[/size] I long for it.[/QUOTE]

I am honestly suprised. I'd thought those sorts of things would be strictly prohibited.

[QUOTE=Disconnection Notice](horny teenagers) - (parents) - (any inhibitions) = (college)[/QUOTE]
I can't wait.

[QUOTE=Disconnection Notice]There's something about being away from home that makes college girls that much hornier/easier.[/QUOTE]

I long for the future....

pardon the bad pun.

[QUOTE=Efilnikufesin]I can't wait.[/QUOTE]

:lol:

It's worth the wait.

[QUOTE=Dancin' Man]I am honestly suprised. I'd thought those sorts of things would be strictly prohibited.[/QUOTE]

Haha, the barracks is a 48 hour party on weekends. You don't have the RA's, or whatever the dorm "watchers" are called, looking after everyone. The Army is much less restrictive than everyone assumes.