Well I guess that's too late now.

(I WISH KIMMIE WOULD'VE TOLD ME THAT RATHER THAN TO TELL HER HOW I FELT RIGHT THEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

I told you the other night not to.

No, you told me that I should tell her how I feel because girls appreciate a guy who can tell how they feel if they care enough.

[QUOTE=Pazz]There's something I do a lot of. Putting myself down, it doesn't help, seriously. Putting yourself down won't help any except make you feel worse about yourself and less likely to find that girl.[/QUOTE]
I'm glad you've finally realized that my good sir.:thumb:


I do work with him outside the thread. That's right. What now? My own personal client.

I believe I said that telling a girl how you felt that early was maybe not a good idea. :)

But, I could be wrong; Tiger and I have been working with IMs on one computer this week, and it's been a little crazy at times.

EDIT: To Stephen.

[QUOTE=Tillius]I'm glad you've finally realized that my good sir.:thumb:


I do work with him outside the thread. That's right. What now? My own personal client.[/QUOTE]

I still put myself down, but that is one thing I am working on.

I should pay you, but I won't.

[QUOTE=Pazz]I still put myself down, but that is one thing I am working on.

I should pay you, but I won't.[/QUOTE]
Damn it, don't come in here and tell somebody not to put theirself down if you still do it. That's bad, Matt, bad.
/Mitch slaps you
And yes, you should pay me.:p

In other news: I got a haircut today, and it came out shorter than I'd have hoped.

[QUOTE=Tillius]Damn it, don't come in here and tell somebody not to put theirself down if you still do it. That's bad, Matt, bad.
/Mitch slaps you
And yes, you should pay me.

In other news: I got a haircut today, and it came out shorter than I'd have hoped.[/QUOTE]

I used to be really bad, like constantly saying I would never get a girlfriend. Going 15 years without one. I started thinking like that after Meg and I broke up, but it has passed. No more put-downs.:thumb: :thumb: :thumb: :thumb:

Pay me!!!

No, actually, don't pay me.

I'm in here out of love.

[QUOTE=Strongbad]It's hard to tell though. They always give mixed messages it seems. At one point, I thought this girl liked me, and I heard that she did. Then when I tell her how I feel, I get rejected. It's all so confusing...[/QUOTE]

Alright, you've taken the brunt of the first criticisms. Now here's what I want you to do. This is the first part in a step-by-step process than within a few months will grow you a rather impressive spine in the presence of women.

1. Buy a notebook. A nice thick one with a durable cover.

2. On the first page, divide it into two columns. In the lefthand column, write down every positive thing about yourself that you can think of. On the right, all the negatives. Don't stop until the positives outweigh the negatives.

3. Look over the negatives and figure out which ones you can fix. Use the next several pages of the notebook to outline a plan for you are going to fix these negatives.

4. Look over the positives and start putting down ideas to help you maximize them.

For example, say you're out of shape as a negative. Find an exercise routine you can get behind. As a positive, you like to learn new skills. Go to a bookstore and browse various sections for books on subjects you'd like to learn about.

5. Every time you see somebody, hold eye contact until they look away the first time. If you're in conversation with them, lean back and allow your eye contact to become more relazed as time goes on. Straighten out your posture as well. Make sure you never slouch and that you always hold your head high.

6. Make a few female friends (just friends) that have certain personality traits you see in the women you usually find attractive, and learn from them. Ask them for advice and help. Chances are, they will be only too happy to help.

This is only the first step. Once you start doing these things, start figuring out the why. Why they work, why they make you feel better about yourself and more secure with women.

[QUOTE=Chaindrive]Ditch her, Gregg. There's no need to put up with that.[/QUOTE]

Yeah, she is gone from all my IM devices, my phones, my 3 myspaces, and blocked from reading my live journal.

She is out of my life now.

[QUOTE=Ibasslikethis!]Yeah, she is gone from all my IM devices, my phones, my 3 myspaces, and blocked from reading my live journal.

She is out of my life now.[/QUOTE]
lol, all technology, no letters or anything! i dont know this story, so you can ignore my posts

[QUOTE=dazmo]lol, all technology, no letters or anything! i dont know this story, so you can ignore my posts[/QUOTE]

I cant stop the mail from coming to me, but i can send it back to her. and I shall be civil to her if i ever see her in person, but i wont be too nice.

[QUOTE=Ibasslikethis!]I cant stop the mail from coming to me, but i can send it back to her. and I shall be civil to her if i ever see her in person, but i wont be too nice.[/QUOTE]
do you live near each other?

about 15 miles away, she goes to one college, i go to another.

oh ok

So hi :wave: It's not really a problem as such... just a weird situation. For a while now I've been pretty confused about my sexuality. I guess I would describe myself as straight but occasionally fancies girls... but more recently I've been more attracted to girls.
The funny situation really is that there are rumours that me and Friend A are lesbians and are an item. Now we certainly are not, and no one actually believes there is an truth behind it anyway. The funny part is that there is a little bit of truth behind it. So in a way I'm 'out' without being 'out'. Weird I know.
Now the only person I've told about this is Friend A. I have 3 very close friends (A, B and C) and I would really like to tell B and C what's going on because I hate keeping it secret like it's something to be ashamed of. On top of this, I think it might help me accept it better, as a small part of me still thinks that it's not right to like someone of the same sex. I know that it's not true but it's a lot easier to accept other people than to accept it with yourself. The thing that's holding me back is that I'm so unbelievably scared that they'll act differently towards me or treat me differently. To be honest, I think they'd be ok with it, but there's always the small chance theat they might not be. And I don't have many mates so their friendship means so much to me that I don't want to risk it. I'm not really worried about them treating it as gossip and telling people because I trust them, and there are already rumours flying around anyway, so it isn't anything that people haven't heard before. Also I know that people assume that if you're bi/gay that you're attracted to every single person of the same sex and get creeped out because they think you fancy them. Another problem I face is that they might think I'm jumping on the bisexual bandwagon and just going along with the latest 'trend'. I think anyone who's been in this situation will agree it's not a nice thing to be confused about.
Anyway that was just a vent really but if anyone has any advice it would be appreciated :)

Dang, where's Gregg when you need him; he's bi.

If they truly are your friends they won't judge you. And if they aren't your friends and judge you, you will know it. So, I think you should tell them.

That's one of the numerous problems bisexuals and homosexuals have in life: they're put under the microscope and judged for their sexual orientation by people who think they're "normal" and think that homosexuality/bisexuality is wrong.

Here's the thing: you can't restrain your feelings, and you will make yourself miserable by living this lie. If you are attracted to women, then you have to 'come out.' The sooner, the better.

You will feel better about it, for one, and two, you won't have to worry about living inside the closet all the time or living a lie.

It's not like this is a choice - your body is telling you to be with other women, and while your religion or whatever says that bisexuality/homosexuality is wrong or in the very least weird, you can't just deny your body's impulses.

As for your friends: if they're your friends, it might get kind of weird, but if you guys are as tight as it seems, you guys will be back to 'normal' soon enough, because they won't judge you for it. I mean, it was really awkward when a friend of mine (who I was really, really good friends with at the time) told me she was gay. It was kind of awkward, but about five seconds later I was really glad that she 'came out' and our friendship hasn't wavered since. She's probably my best girl friend in my life right now.

[QUOTE=Chaindrive]Dang, where's Gregg when you need him; he's bi.

If they truly are your friends they won't judge you. And if they aren't your friends and judge you, you will know it. So, I think you should tell them.[/QUOTE]
That's what I'm thinking. I just want to get it off my chest because it's just been bothering me for a while not being able to talk about it. I mean I can talk to friend A, but she doesn't really understand I and I don't want to unload all of my insecurities on her.

Hey, Jom.

You are correct: my friend in real life makes sucky threads.

I tried to tell him to be careful and just hang out and watch, but no, don't listen to me, I might lie.

My suitemate and good friend is a bisexual. Over here, most people don't discriminate, and he has guy friends and girl friends alike. He's pretty cool, and most I haven't seen anyone who holds his sexuality against him.
So I really can't imagine why you should be discriminated against.

....especailly since you're a girl.
>.>
<.<

[QUOTE=Jom]That's one of the numerous problems bisexuals and homosexuals have in life: they're put under the microscope and judged for their sexual orientation by people who think they're "normal" and think that homosexuality/bisexuality is wrong.

Here's the thing: you can't suppress your feelings, and you will make yourself miserable by living a lie. If you are attracted to women, then you have to 'come out.' You will feel better about it, for one, and two, you won't have to worry about living inside the closet all the time or living a lie.

It's not like this is a choice - your body is telling you to be with other women, and while your religion or whatever says that bisexuality/homosexuality is wrong or in the very least weird, you can't just deny your body's impulses.

As for your friends: if they're your friends, it might get kind of weird, but if you guys are as tight as it seems, you guys will be back to 'normal' soon enough, because they won't judge you for it.[/QUOTE]
Yeah you're right. The friend I have told has been absolutely wonderful about it. She immediately understood and one of the first things she said was 'It's alright, I'm not that vain to think that you fancy me' which made me laugh. We have our little in jokes with it, because of the rumours it's quite fun to have a laugh about, also makes the situation less awkward.

[QUOTE=Bee Sharp]Yeah you're right. The friend I have told has been absolutely wonderful about it. She immediately understood and one of the first things she said was 'It's alright, I'm not that vain to think that you fancy me' which made me laugh. We have our little in jokes with it, because of the rumours it's quite fun to have a laugh about, also makes the situation less awkward.[/QUOTE]

Well, that's a start.

You missed this ninja edit of mine:

[quote]I mean, it was really awkward when a friend of mine (who I was really, really good friends with at the time, borderline dating) told me she was gay. It was kind of awkward, but about five seconds later I was really glad that she 'came out' and our friendship hasn't wavered since. She's probably my best girl friend in my life right now[/quote]

I'd imagine it'd be similar to your friends, in a sense.

I'm in the most generic situation possible right now:

How should I go about asking a girl out...
I just need to know how to word it.

I was thinking something along the lines of just telling her, "I really like you... like more than just a friend..." and then elaborating from there.

[QUOTE=Eleventeen]I'm in the most generic situation possible right now:

How should I go about asking a girl out...
I just need to know how to word it.

I was thinking something along the lines of just telling her, "I really like you... like more than just a friend..." and then elaborating from there.[/QUOTE]

Nah, that's going to fast from friends, being too straight isn't always good from my experience. Just ask her if she'd like to hangout with you(alone) on the weekends, etc. Ask her if she wants to check out "the new movie", or whatever.

EDIT: And as you spend more and more time together, then it'll just eventually sink in.

[QUOTE=Jom]Well, that's a start.

You missed this ninja edit of mine:



I'd imagine it'd be similar to your friends, in a sense.[/QUOTE]
Ha yeah. I remember the first few seconds after I told her. She'd been trying to guess who I like:
Me: No, it's not a Sam or Rob or Dave...
Her: I don't get it!
Me: Sarah.... a girl. [B]Her[/B] name is Sarah.
Her: ...oh.
<dramatic pause>
Me: Right. So yeah.
Her: Well it makes sense now. Wanna grab some lunch :)
Me: Sure :)

So it was all cool. I was wearing a very stupid hat at the time which took away some of the seriousness I think :)

[QUOTE=ProSeries]Nah, that's going to fast from friends, being too straight isn't always good from my experience. Just ask her if she'd like to hangout with you(alone) on the weekends, etc. Ask her if she wants to check out "the new movie", or whatever.

EDIT: And as you spend more and more time together, then it'll just eventually sink in.[/QUOTE]


Okay, thanks, that's a good plan, it's kinda what I've been doing :D.

[QUOTE=Bee Sharp]Ha yeah. I remember the first few seconds after I told her. She'd been trying to guess who I like:
Me: No, it's not a Sam or Rob or Dave...
Her: I don't get it!
Me: Sarah.... a girl. [B]Her[/B] name is Sarah.
Her: ...oh.
<dramatic pause>
Me: Right. So yeah.
Her: Well it makes sense now. Wanna grab some lunch :)
Me: Sure :)

So it was all cool. I was wearing a very stupid hat at the time which took away some of the seriousness I think :)[/QUOTE]

She changed the topic too abruptly. Are you sure she hasn't told anyone else?

[QUOTE=ProSeries]She changed the topic too abruptly. Are you sure she hasn't told anyone else?[/QUOTE]
Nah we talked about it for ages over lunch and spoke about it at a girlie sleepover we had at the weekend. I know she hasn't told anyone else, and like I said before, it wouldn't matter because there are already rumours flying around about me anyway.