I agree with Tillius. Besides, if you start to play the field and she notices, she may come running.

Couldn't that also make her think I don't like her anymore?

[QUOTE=Rasta Rockerstat3]Couldn't that also make her think I don't like her anymore?[/QUOTE]

Possibly. But I believe my scenario is more likely.

Hey I've been on here before, anyways, I have this problem, I'm really depressed all the time and recently I've started cutting myself on my stomach. The thing is, I am so not emo and I don't even know why I do it? But it makes me feel better and I don't know what to do. You're probably wondering why I'm saying this on a relationships thread but I think it has a lot to do with my ex boyfriend.

[QUOTE=jessy rabbit]I've started cutting myself on my stomach. The thing is, I am so not emo.[/QUOTE]

Hahahahahahahha.

Let me put it to you this way: stop cutting yourself if you have a brain in your skull.

[QUOTE=Jom]Hahahahahahahha.

Let me put it to you this way: stop cutting yourself if you have a brain in your skull.[/QUOTE]

and of course... life is always that da[size=2]mn[/size] easy...

Jom, you got any thoughts on my situation? It's on this page, about midway through.

[QUOTE=oogaboogabooga]and of course... life is always that da[size=2]mn[/size] easy...[/QUOTE]

Did I say life was easy? When have I [i]ever[/i] said life was easy?

Let's put it this way: cutting solves nothing. People who cut themselves are weak. They are trying to find strength through self-mutilation. That is pathetic.

[quote=Rasta]So, I asked her out tonight. As I expected, she said no...well in her exact words "I don't know right now, I just got out of a 2 anda half year relationship and I don't want/ think I'm ready (it's one of those two, I don't exactly remember) for that right now". I don't feel too bad right now, I just don't know whether I should wait around for her, or start looking for another.

I've asked one friend that's a girl, and one that's a guy. They both said to keep at it with her and just let her take the time she needs. And Tillius says to move on. I'm gonna talk to her before I make any decisions, any other suggestions are still more than welcome.[/quote]

Here's what I'd tell you:

It depends on how much you like her. Are you willing to be a good friend and help her through tough times? The one thing you don't know is how long she's going to make you wait.

From what I gather, you don't feel bad about her saying no. That's good on you, for sure.

A two-and-a-half year relationship is a long time. If it ended poorly for her, then she's going to need to take some time to recover. If you're willing to be patient, then you should still keep the door open for her.

Here's the thing, though: there are no absolutes in a situation like this.

This is why, on the other hand, I'm inclined to agree with Tillius and Chrystostom when they say this:

[quote]I'm just saying not to make yourself so available.

Just look for some other people for the time being, like I said, if you're not with anybody yet and she decides she's ready, then go for it. If you're obvious about it that you're not gonna just wait for her, then that may even give you a better shot.

If you start to play the field and she notices, she may come running.[/quote]

Basically, because there are no guarantees that she will come to you, you should start making yourself available to other girls... but in the event that she recovers quickly, then at least you would still be available.

I mean, I know you said you like her, but if she's going to keep making you wait for her, then you might as well try to make yourself available to other girls, because that you-liking-her feeling will start to fade.

Good luck, though, man, and keep us posted :)

Thanks Jom, good advice as usual. I'll let you know what's happening. I'm still kinda confused as to how our first conversation will go

[QUOTE=Rasta Rockerstat3]Thanks Jom, good advice as usual. I'll let you know what's happening. I'm still kinda confused as to how our first conversation will go[/QUOTE]

Just keep your cool. Talk and listen, pitch and catch, and so on. Make sure she's comfortable talking to you about you guys. Let her say anything she needs to.

But also make sure that you say what you want to say as well. She needs to listen to you just as much as you listen to her.

And the environment you guys talk in... wherever it is, make sure it's a comfortable one for the both of you as well.

I'd also urge you to meet face-to-face to talk, as opposed to IM. In the past I've tried to talk to people through IM and things never were resolved, and it's not a fun feeling.

[QUOTE=Jom]Hahahahahahahha.

Let me put it to you this way: stop cutting yourself if you have a brain in your skull.[/QUOTE]



aahahahahaha, Jom, I love you.


BUt seriously, i've known people that cut. and saying stuff like that, is kinda the the "just stop" approach to smokers. its easy for people who don't. but like. i suck at explaining. I think you get the point.

but i do despise the act of cutting as cowardice, and a poor attempt at attention getting.

I would talk to her face to face, but the only time I really see her to have a conversation is outside of school when we're hanging out. I think the first time we talk will have to be on IM. And maybe I'm a coward, but I find it easier to say some things on IM than in person.

[QUOTE=Rasta Rockerstat3]I would talk to her face to face, but the only time I really see her to have a conversation is outside of school when we're hanging out. I think the first time we talk will have to be on IM. And maybe I'm a coward, but I find it easier to say some things on IM than in person.[/QUOTE]

Alot of people do. Its becuase its easier to hide yourself. or pretend you were kidding, and the like. IM just makes everything less sincere. I have not written out for when i decide to ask this girl out. Slip it into her binder during class, then when she gets home, she finds it. I think its a good idea. but yeah.

I'm talking to her right now (on IM) and I don't know how to say, I'm willing to wait, without sounding desperate/needy

EDIT: She said she would date me, but ya know she just got out of the relationship, so I guess she does like me.

Well, maybe I didn't explain my position very well in regards to talking in person vs. talking online.

But first:

[quote=Rasta]And maybe I'm a coward, but I find it easier to say some things on IM than in person.[/quote]

Lots of people are like that - it has nothing to do with cowardice.

Anyways, here's the thing.

You hold people to their word more when you talk to them in person. When someone has a falling out with you (or you have a falling out with another person), and you're trying to get back onto talking terms with them, it's very, very, very hard to hold a person to his/her word online. "Okay, we're having a little bit of a problem, but let's meet up sometime and have a talk," is very unconvincing online. Believe me, that person doesn't live up to his/her word. And it doesn't help make things any easier between the two of you.

Face-to-face, it's much easier to get someone to follow his/her word, at the sacrifice of awkwardness. But that's one thing you have to give up in order to get a greater good.

[quote=Fonz]i've known people that cut. and saying stuff like that, is kinda the the "just stop" approach to smokers. its easy for people who don't. but like. i suck at explaining. I think you get the point.[/quote]

Yeah, I get you, no worries. A person who starts smoking is different from someone who starts cutting, though. Physical vs. mental.

Alright, we just got done talking. She said that she would date me, but ya know the whole she just got out of that relationship thing. I told her, "I'll be here when you're ready" and she said "thanks for understanding matt" Sounds like things went well?

She said that she's hanging out with one of her old friends tonight...Craig. Me being the jealous, imaginative person I am will worry about it all night. Oh well, I don't think I should have to worry about it though.

I really dont like dating girls. I just dont. I like just going to go have fun with friends and score with random chicks that we meet. I know its really immature but oh well.

[QUOTE=JohnnyT]I really dont like dating girls. I just dont. I like just going to go have fun with friends and score with random chicks that we meet. I know its really immature but oh well.[/QUOTE]
I do agree with you half in half, but think about it - yea its great to do that, but on the other hand, its great to have a girl to call up and talk to, or sit at home with and just relax, wake upbeside and fall asleep with.

you dont get much from random chicks at clubs - i tell you that. :lol:

[QUOTE=~grif~]I do agree with you half in half, but think about it - yea its great to do that, but on the other hand, its great to have a girl to call up and talk to, or sit at home with and just relax, wake upbeside and fall asleep with.

you dont get much from random chicks at clubs - i tell you that. :lol:[/QUOTE]


True. But i have really good friends that just are girls and we hang out sometimes, but were really good friends. i know that there always there for me.

Well you cant hold their hand, hold them in you're arms or kiss the goodnight. IF ya know where im going...not that thats what its all about but ya know...

[QUOTE=Rasta Rockerstat3]Alright, we just got done talking. She said that she would date me, but ya know the whole she just got out of that relationship thing. I told her, "I'll be here when you're ready" and she said "thanks for understanding matt" Sounds like things went well?

She said that she's hanging out with one of her old friends tonight...Craig. Me being the jealous, imaginative person I am will worry about it all night. Oh well, I don't think I should have to worry about it though.[/QUOTE]

Dont worry about it. Just make sure you available for her to talk to if she need.


(...rockerstat3.. is that like rocker-stat, or like.. :confused: "

[QUOTE=Rasta Rockerstat3]Alright, we just got done talking. She said that she would date me, but ya know the whole she just got out of that relationship thing. I told her, "I'll be here when you're ready" and she said "thanks for understanding matt" Sounds like things went well?[/quote]

Looks like it went well, yes.

[quote]She said that she's hanging out with one of her old friends tonight...Craig. Me being the jealous, imaginative person I am will worry about it all night. Oh well, I don't think I should have to worry about it though.[/QUOTE]

Hey, a girl's gotta have guy friends just as much as you have to have girl friends (denote space).

Just keep your cool and be receptive to her wants and needs. If she's pussin' around, then you should consider moving onward and upward... but I don't think that that will be the case, seeing your conversation with her went alright.

[QUOTE=~grif~]Well you cant hold their hand, hold them in you're arms or kiss the goodnight. IF ya know where im going...not that thats what its all about but ya know...[/QUOTE]


Ya i know. I just get tired of girls a lot. There just so ugh somtimes. Like i cant please them. I usually consider them something to worry about. I have enough as it is right now.

Alright, I haven't posted in here, and I'm not really looking for any help but moreso needing somewhere to vent.

So, it began 3 weeks ago at school when me and my girlfriend broke-up. I knew it was coming, I could see it a mile away. She found me while I was on lunch and wanted to talk to me in private. She said it wasn't working and I agreed. I didn't want it to end, but I let it and just said I understood. She was so happy to know this and she gave me a hug and then she went back to class.

Now, I was out a girlfriend and was stuck at school that night until 9:00 because I was doing a 24 hour fast with my best friend. I had a good time and did good forgetting everything that went on that day. The next day I went out of town with my best friend and just kept my mind clear of everything. That Sunday it finally hit me. I had to see her the next day and pretend nothing was wrong.

That Monday, I acted as if nothing was wrong and so did she. We talked on Tuesday and she said she was really sad about everything that went on, she is just good at hiding it. Then Wednesday came.

This would have been the worst day I probably ever had. I started to realize something between my best friend and my ex. I asked him what was going on and he told me he wasn't the one who should be telling me. I knew right away something was up. I waited a bit and finally got guts to call my ex. She told me that she had feelings for my best friend(they had previously gone out for 8 months). Later that night my best friend calls me back, and he tells me that on Friday, the day me and her broke up, that she had feelings for him. He also told me he had liked her the whole time me and her were going out. My ex then called me after that and we talked and her conclusion was to stop talking to the two of us. I knew this was a stupid idea and my friend thought so too.

The next day I was talking to my best friend, we sorted out our differences and he said he would back off. We told her we needed to talk to her, but she kept refusing to talk to us. I skipped part of my class while she was on her lunch to try and get her to talk to me. She still wouldn't, she ignored the both of us. So I went to class, got out a piece of paper and wrote her a page long note telling her exactly how I felt. I went to her before last period, handed her the note, told her to read it, then left. That day after school she came up to talk to me, told me that she read the note and that she was really sorry.

So for the next week everything seemed to be fine. I began my March Break and during it, I decided to tell a girl that I liked her. I didn't really have any feelings for her, I thought I did, and I thought she liked me. So I told her. I realized my biggest mistake, and figured it was only time until others found out. I just decided to forget about it.

Me and my ex had finally decided to just stay friends, so over the March Break, we hung out. It was a great time, we joked around and just did what friends did. I was there though, not sure whether I still liked her or not.

Another week passed, everything was fine. But of course the bestfriend/ex girlfriend thing wasn't over. I'm sitting here not sure whether or not they will get back together. I'm being the friend and telling them both to go for it, knowing it will hurt me, but they are not sure about me.

So my life in the past 3 weeks has been really emotional for me. I'm trying to move on and not let anything bother me. Me and my bestfriend are fine and I'm happy to say me and him are still good friends. Me and my ex are still talking and are just being good friends.


Sorry about the length, didn't think it would be so much.

Yeah, I always forget about the different thought trains that guys and girls have. If a friend that's a girl wants to hang out with me one night, I'm thinking alright maybe I'll get some action tonight. But with girls, a guy in the friend zone is in the friend zone and no return.

And about my name....when I made it, I meant for it just to be Rasta Rocker (because I love reggae, and varieties of R&M), stat3 was a part of the password that I entered in, and I don't know how it got in my name. Kinda pissed about it.

[QUOTE=Pazz]Alright, I haven't posted in here, and I'm not really looking for any help but moreso needing somewhere to vent.

So, it began 3 weeks ago at school when me and my girlfriend broke-up. I knew it was coming, I could see it a mile away. She found me while I was on lunch and wanted to talk to me in private. She said it wasn't working and I agreed. I didn't want it to end, but I let it and just said I understood. She was so happy to know this and she gave me a hug and then she went back to class.

Now, I was out a girlfriend and was stuck at school that night until 9:00 because I was doing a 24 hour fast with my best friend. I had a good time and did good forgetting everything that went on that day. The next day I went out of town with my best friend and just kept my mind clear of everything. That Sunday it finally hit me. I had to see her the next day and pretend nothing was wrong.

That Monday, I acted as if nothing was wrong and so did she. We talked on Tuesday and she said she was really sad about everything that went on, she is just good at hiding it. Then Wednesday came.

This would have been the worst day I probably ever had. I started to realize something between my best friend and my ex. I asked him what was going on and he told me he wasn't the one who should be telling me. I knew right away something was up. I waited a bit and finally got guts to call my ex. She told me that she had feelings for my best friend(they had previously gone out for 8 months). Later that night my best friend calls me back, and he tells me that on Friday, the day me and her broke up, that she had feelings for him. He also told me he had liked her the whole time me and her were going out. My ex then called me after that and we talked and her conclusion was to stop talking to the two of us. I knew this was a stupid idea and my friend thought so too.

The next day I was talking to my best friend, we sorted out our differences and he said he would back off. We told her we needed to talk to her, but she kept refusing to talk to us. I skipped part of my class while she was on her lunch to try and get her to talk to me. She still wouldn't, she ignored the both of us. So I went to class, got out a piece of paper and wrote her a page long note telling her exactly how I felt. I went to her before last period, handed her the note, told her to read it, then left. That day after school she came up to talk to me, told me that she read the note and that she was really sorry.

So for the next week everything seemed to be fine. I began my March Break and during it, I decided to tell a girl that I liked her. I didn't really have any feelings for her, I thought I did, and I thought she liked me. So I told her. I realized my biggest mistake, and figured it was only time until others found out. I just decided to forget about it.

Me and my ex had finally decided to just stay friends, so over the March Break, we hung out. It was a great time, we joked around and just did what friends did. I was there though, not sure whether I still liked her or not.

Another week passed, everything was fine. But of course the bestfriend/ex girlfriend thing wasn't over. I'm sitting here not sure whether or not they will get back together. I'm being the friend and telling them both to go for it, knowing it will hurt me, but they are not sure about me.

So my life in the past 3 weeks has been really emotional for me. I'm trying to move on and not let anything bother me. Me and my bestfriend are fine and I'm happy to say me and him are still good friends. Me and my ex are still talking and are just being good friends.


Sorry about the length, didn't think it would be so much.[/QUOTE]


Well at least everything worked out for you. Sorry about the break up though

[QUOTE=Rasta Rockerstat3]Yeah, I always forget about the different thought trains that guys and girls have. If a friend that's a girl wants to hang out with me one night, I'm thinking alright maybe I'll get some action tonight. But with girls, a guy in the friend zone is in the friend zone and no return.

And about my name....when I made it, I meant for it just to be Rasta Rocker (because I love reggae, and varieties of R&M), stat3 was a part of the password that I entered in, and I don't know how it got in my name. Kinda pissed about it.[/QUOTE]


Go to the "musicianforums" sub-forum, theres a trhead for name changes and the such. explain that, and DBJ will probably fix it.

[QUOTE=jessy rabbit]Hey I've been on here before, anyways, I have this problem, I'm really depressed all the time and recently I've started cutting myself on my stomach. The thing is, I am so not emo and I don't even know why I do it? But it makes me feel better and I don't know what to do. You're probably wondering why I'm saying this on a relationships thread but I think it has a lot to do with my ex boyfriend.[/QUOTE]
Because I know about cutting, I'll try to give you some advice.
I found out the hard way (through too many broken promises) that you won't stop cutting until you want yourself to. It doesn't matter how many people find out that make you swear you'll never do it again; you will do it until you want yourself to get better.

So find yourself some motivation. Figure out something in your life that you can do instead of cutting. Do some serious soul searching. You have to fix your own problems.

[QUOTE=The Fonz]
BUt seriously, i've known people that cut. and saying stuff like that, is kinda the the "just stop" approach to smokers. its easy for people who don't. but like. i suck at explaining. I think you get the point.[/quote]
This is very true, but after saying this, you contradict yourself:
[QUOTE=The Fonz]
but i do despise the act of cutting as cowardice, and a poor attempt at attention getting.[/QUOTE]
It's easy for people who don't/haven't cut to say that.

[QUOTE=Tess-Tube Baby]Because I know about cutting, I'll try to give you some advice.
I found out the hard way (through too many broken promises) that you won't stop cutting until you want yourself to. It doesn't matter how many people find out that make you swear you'll never do it again; you will do it until you want yourself to get better.

So find yourself some motivation. Figure out something in your life that you can do instead of cutting. Do some serious soul searching. You have to fix your own problems.


This is very true, but after saying this, you contradict yourself:

It's easy for people who don't/haven't cut to say that.[/QUOTE]


I don't contradict myself. Thats just how i see it. I never said I diddn't. Its just that its too common nowadays for me too take it seriously. Well, actually, yeah, i guess i kinda do contradict myself.

[QUOTE=The Fonz]Go to the "musicianforums" sub-forum, theres a trhead for name changes and the such. explain that, and DBJ will probably fix it.[/QUOTE]
Oh, thanks:wave:

Pazz, your friend is a dude, respect to him for backing off

[QUOTE=JohnnyT]Well at least everything worked out for you. Sorry about the break up though[/QUOTE]

Thanks. It hasn't really worked out for me, but I'm trying to make it work out for me.

[QUOTE=Retard Sars]Pazz, your friend is a dude, respect to him for backing off[/QUOTE]

I do respect him for that. And now I'm going to back off for him.

[QUOTE=Pazz]Thanks. It hasn't really worked out for me, but I'm trying to make it work out for me.



[/QUOTE]

Good luck with that.:wave:

Did you really think things weren't working out, or were you just going along with it?

Hi all... Just droppin by. Anybody ever have this case where your significant other's parents are so controling and wont let them do anything, meaning that you cant go anywhere with your person?

Well if ya have, it sucks doesnt it? If you havent, lucky!!!

Evenin' all.

Yea, that's kinda the situation right now.

I just wanted to say thanks guys for helping me make the right choice :)

[QUOTE=pohl_56]Hi all... Just droppin by. Anybody ever have this case where your significant other's parents are so controling and wont let them do anything, meaning that you cant go anywhere with your person?

Well if ya have, it sucks doesnt it? If you havent, lucky!!!

Evenin' all.[/QUOTE]


Actually, my parents AND her parents won't let us go out... =( sucks x2

Yup so me and my gf have ended it. We had drifted apart and she didn't want to bother to try and make it any better because she's leaving in the summer, so here I am...this was like..10 minutes ago, so it won't hit me for alittle bit...but we have a history together..and this is going to hit very f[i]u[/i]cking hard:(

All I can say is...brace yourself, and get a LOT of Oreos.